The Terri Cole Show

Are you stressed out of your mind from anticipating all of the needs of all of the people, all of the time? Do you go out of your way to indulge a particularly difficult family member so that they don't explode and ruin the family gathering? If you find that you are always anticipating the needs of others, I might be able to help. In this episode, I'm breaking down what I call codependent anticipation and giving you some steps that you can take to stick to your side of the street a little bit more and stress a little bit less.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/363

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Today I'm sharing a girlfriend jam with Jennifer Pastiloff. She shares her takeaways about her experiences with the traumatic loss of a parent and her deafness and shared her deafness: How it led her write her book, On Being Human, how to quiet your inner asshole voice with kindness, and how to reach outside your bubble to truly be of service to other humans and feel connected to the world.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/361

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How hard is it for you to apologize when you hurt someone? Do you find yourself starting the apology with "I'm sorry you feel…" "I'm sorry you think…" or "sorry, but I was tired?" Do people feel understood when you apologize, or does it make things worse?

In today's episode, I am going to outline some bad apology habits and then share some tips for how you can avoid them in your life to give satisfying, authentic apologies when you accidentally hurt the people you love.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/360

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Today I'm interviewing Lindsey Ellison, a breakup breakthrough coach, author of two books, and podcaster. She gives us some advice about all things narcissist and how to break up without being broken. Plus, she shares her personal experience with discovering her own higher power helped her stop treating a codependent relationship as one.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/359

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When you have to say no to someone, do you feel compelled to give them a long explanation of why you are saying no, or do you find yourself defending your right to say no?

How often do you find yourself building a case to convince the people in your life that you're doing the right thing?

When you make a choice do you want everyone to approve of your decision?

If you're nodding your head, then this episode is for you. There is an important difference between convincing and providing context when it comes to communicating our boundaries and preferences.

In this episode, I'm breaking it all down for you, because the bottom line is:

You don't have to convince anyone of anything.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/358

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Today I'm sharing a chat with my friend Elizabeth Earnshaw, licensed marriage and family therapist and director of A Better Life Therapy, LLC. She shares her thoughts about how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted different types of relationships, gives tips for starting difficult conversations with your partner, and explains the importance of rituals in building reliability in your relationship. Plus, I ask her about the inspiration behind her brand new book I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/357

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If something is really important to you, can you go to the mat for it?

Do you know how to negotiate and stand up for what you want? Or do you avoid the conflict and potentially end up living with regrets?

Knowing when and how to fight fair for what you want is part of being a boundary boss and essential to living your most satisfying, self-determined life!

That's why in today's episode, I'm walking you through how to pick your battles wisely, how to stand your ground, and how to negotiate like a pro.

Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/356

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Today I'm sharing a chat with my friend Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who is a clinical psychologist at northwestern university and expert in relational self-awareness. We talk about love, self-reflection, monogamy, and how the field of relationship psychology has changed in the last 25 years, as well as sharing our own experiences with self-awareness in our intimate relationships. I hope you enjoy listening to this interview with Alexandra as much as I enjoyed interviewing her!

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/355

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When you're upset with someone about something, do you:

Say nothing, but silently keep score?

Talk to other people about it?

Ice the person out?

Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text?

If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week's episode, I'm breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger.

Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.

Find the shownotes for today's episode at terricole.com/354

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Today I'm bringing back an old episode by popular demand, a girlfriend jam with Danielle LaPorte! Danielle is the creator of The Desire Map series, "A heart centered approach to finding your true power". She's also the author of White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it real on your spiritual path, and The Fire Starter Sessions: A guide to creating success on your own terms, which also spun off into a coaching curriculum. Named one of the "Top 100 Websites for Women" by Forbes, over 5 million people a month visit DanielleLaPorte.com for her regular #Truthbombs and poetry. Danielle's website has been called "the best place online for kickass spirituality." Marianne Williamson refers to Danielle "as a bright light in the modern priestesshood."On today's show, we talk about finding real love, getting honest about secondary gain, letting go of the past, and much more.Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/231

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