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We’ve been told that putting others first is the hallmark of a good person, but what if that’s a big, fat lie? In this episode, Hilary Silver tackles the myth of selflessness head-on, revealing how this deeply ingrained belief isn’t just harmful—it’s downright toxic. Drawing on her decades of experience as a psychotherapist and lifestyle mentor, Hilary introduces the third core concept of her self-centered model: "In your life, you come first and you go first."
Hilary explains how the pressure to be selfless erodes self-worth, breeds resentment, and creates hollow, transactional relationships. She challenges the narrative that sacrificing yourself for others is noble, exposing how it leads to emotional burnout and a lifetime of feeling undervalued. Instead, Hilary offers a liberating alternative: prioritize yourself unapologetically. Because when you treat yourself with the respect and care you deserve, you teach others to do the same.
Episode Highlights:
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Introduction
[00:53] Meet Hillary Silver
[01:57] The Myth of Selflessness
[02:28] The Big Lie
[04:15] Consequences of Selflessness
[05:57] The Void and Compulsion to Give
[06:33] Resentment and Transactional Relationships
[07:05] Self-Serving Giving
[08:40] Healthy Giving vs. Selflessness
[09:12] Core Concept #3: You Come First
[12:54] Conclusion
Stop putting yourself last—it’s time to take the lead. 💅 Grab Hilary’s free mini video training, "This Changes Everything" and start making yourself the priority you’ve always deserved to be: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/
4.9
246246 ratings
We’ve been told that putting others first is the hallmark of a good person, but what if that’s a big, fat lie? In this episode, Hilary Silver tackles the myth of selflessness head-on, revealing how this deeply ingrained belief isn’t just harmful—it’s downright toxic. Drawing on her decades of experience as a psychotherapist and lifestyle mentor, Hilary introduces the third core concept of her self-centered model: "In your life, you come first and you go first."
Hilary explains how the pressure to be selfless erodes self-worth, breeds resentment, and creates hollow, transactional relationships. She challenges the narrative that sacrificing yourself for others is noble, exposing how it leads to emotional burnout and a lifetime of feeling undervalued. Instead, Hilary offers a liberating alternative: prioritize yourself unapologetically. Because when you treat yourself with the respect and care you deserve, you teach others to do the same.
Episode Highlights:
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Introduction
[00:53] Meet Hillary Silver
[01:57] The Myth of Selflessness
[02:28] The Big Lie
[04:15] Consequences of Selflessness
[05:57] The Void and Compulsion to Give
[06:33] Resentment and Transactional Relationships
[07:05] Self-Serving Giving
[08:40] Healthy Giving vs. Selflessness
[09:12] Core Concept #3: You Come First
[12:54] Conclusion
Stop putting yourself last—it’s time to take the lead. 💅 Grab Hilary’s free mini video training, "This Changes Everything" and start making yourself the priority you’ve always deserved to be: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/
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