The Hilary Silver Podcast

The Toxic Truth About Being Selfless


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We’ve been told that putting others first is the hallmark of a good person, but what if that’s a big, fat lie? In this episode, Hilary Silver tackles the myth of selflessness head-on, revealing how this deeply ingrained belief isn’t just harmful—it’s downright toxic. Drawing on her decades of experience as a psychotherapist and lifestyle mentor, Hilary introduces the third core concept of her self-centered model: "In your life, you come first and you go first."

 

Hilary explains how the pressure to be selfless erodes self-worth, breeds resentment, and creates hollow, transactional relationships. She challenges the narrative that sacrificing yourself for others is noble, exposing how it leads to emotional burnout and a lifetime of feeling undervalued. Instead, Hilary offers a liberating alternative: prioritize yourself unapologetically. Because when you treat yourself with the respect and care you deserve, you teach others to do the same.

 

Episode Highlights:

  • Why “selflessness” is a toxic myth keeping you stuck and resentful.
  • How putting yourself first is the most selfless thing you can do.
  • The real reason self-sacrifice leaves you exhausted and undervalued.
  • Healthy giving vs. soul-sucking selflessness—know the difference.
  • Why modeling self-respect is the ultimate relationship game-changer.
  • The mindset shift that puts you back in control of your life.
  •  

    Episode Breakdown:

    [00:00]  Introduction

    [00:53]  Meet Hillary Silver

    [01:57]  The Myth of Selflessness

    [02:28]  The Big Lie

    [04:15]  Consequences of Selflessness

    [05:57]  The Void and Compulsion to Give

    [06:33]  Resentment and Transactional Relationships

    [07:05]  Self-Serving Giving

    [08:40]  Healthy Giving vs. Selflessness

    [09:12] Core Concept #3: You Come First

    [12:54] Conclusion

     

    Stop putting yourself last—it’s time to take the lead. 💅 Grab Hilary’s free mini video training, "This Changes Everything" and start making yourself the priority you’ve always deserved to be: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/

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    The Hilary Silver PodcastBy Hilary Silver

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