The Truth About Mental Health by Paula Sweet at Absolute Mind

This is episode 160 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering ways in which you can remain positive around negative people.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Do you find being around negative people has an effect on you and how you feel? No matter how positive you strive to be and keeping your positive mental attitude it can be difficult when surrounded by negativity to keep that positive outlook.

Being surrounded by negative people can be draining and make you into a person you don't like or want to be, it can make you feel frustrated and even begin to turn you into a negative/pessimistic person.

But no matter how challenging it can be to remain positive around negativity it is possible to keep your optimistic outlook.

How To Remain Positive

1. Stay Focused On Yourself - When you are faced with somebody eases negative outlook, one of the best things you can do to help yourself it to stay focused on YOU! No matter what others do or say around you you should only really need to focus on yourself and control your own attitude and response. Ask yourself these questions: How am i reacting to the negativity, How can i make my reaction more positive. So if you find yourself feeling frustrated with somebody's negativity shift your focus on to how you are feeling and responding and how you could be more positive. You cant control others around you but you can control your actions and reactions.
2. Switch Your Reaction - When dealing with difficult negative people a great tool is to switch your reaction, When somebody is acting negatively around you ie Yelling, arguing, passive aggressive, using negative language etc try acting in the opposite way. It can be challenging to not mirror somebody's behaviours but if you can manage this it can help in keeping you feeling more positive.
3. Don't Take It To Heart - When around negativity it can be hard to remember that more often than not their negativity isn't completely about you. Perhaps they're having a bad day and dealing with lots of stress so feel they need to vocalise their stress. We can never know exactly what is going on in other peoples lives so try not to take any negativity personally.
4. Be Grateful - Practising gratitude when dealing with a negative person can be very difficult but if you can regularly practice gratitude even in times of negativity it can have a great effect on your mental state. It's easy to be positive when things are going well but when we can do it in times of negativity it can really strengthen your skills on positivity.

Staying positive around people especially negative ones can be tough but if you can put these few tips into practice you might just begin to notice how little other peoples attitude have an effect on you now.

1. • Health IQ – A life insurance agency that uses science and data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health-conscious people. To see if you qualify, get your free quote today at HealthIQ/Paula

This is episode 159 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering ways in which you can stop negative thinking.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Do you find yourself negatively thinking on a regular basis?

Have you ever stopped to notice just how much those negative thoughts can impact your day to day? Overcoming negative thinking can be one of the biggest tasks you may face if you have gotten into the pattern of doing it regularly.

Thinking the worst or expecting failure/betrayal convey a kind of life insurance "If i expect the worst then i wont be disappointed when it happens. Negative thinkers can live in the "I told you so" life feeling like its more important to prove right their negative predictions than to have good things happen and be proved wrong.

Many negative thinkers may call themselves realists rather than pessimists but negative thinking or "being realistic" can have an impact on their outcome of events. Negative thoughts can plague us even when things seem to be going well saying things such as "it's too good to last"

So how can you stop thinking so negatively and allowing those thoughts to impact your life.

Way's To Stop Thinking Negatively

1. When you notice a negative thought or image begin to creep into your mind, try actually saying STOP to yourself out loud if you're alone or aloud in your head if you're not comfortable with this. When you abruptly interrupt the thought pattern it can help to shift your thought process quickly. If you'd rather say something other than stop create your own phrase such as "get out of my head" or create an image in your mind of stop signs, no entry and so on.
2. Break the cycle by changing the direction of your thoughts by counting backwards from 100-0
3. Start some positive affirmations, positive affirmations can be used in many different ways and can be similar to the thought changing technique, when a negative thought enters your mind repeat your affirmation. Also begin to practice saying your affirmations on a daily basis which can help to re-shape your thinking creating the positive outlook rather than the negative.
4. Stop mind reading, Negative thinking stops us from being ok with uncertainty. This can then lead to trying to mind read for example if somebody doesn't respond to your text you may find that negative thinkers will see it as the person doesn't like them or they've done something to offend them when in fact there could be many reasons why they haven't responded such as lost their phone, battery has died, they're on a plane, they're busy or any other highly likely reason as to why they haven't responded.

Being a negative thinker can be tiring, lonely and simply frustrating not only for the thinker but those around them. So if you are a negative thinker then try these few simple steps to avoid negative thoughts in the future.

1. • Health IQ – A life insurance agency that uses science and data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health-conscious people. To see if you qualify, get your free quote today at HealthIQ/Paula

This is episode 158 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering ways in which you can reduce anxiety.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Note: If you feel you may be dealing with a serious anxiety disorder and need assistance please talk to a medical professional about your options of treatment. There are many options that are available to help with anxiety symptoms but if you are looking for ways that may help to reduce your levels of anxiety this podcast could help you on your way to becoming calmer and more relaxed on a regular basis.

Anxiety is something that I see on a regular basis in my therapy practice, technically anxiety isn't a thing, its not something you can catch rather a apprehension over upcoming events, anticipating the future with scary predictions that don't have any basis in truth.

In our every day lives anxiety can create some physical and emotional symptoms such as increased heart rate, lack of concentration, sleep problems and over all low mood.

The anxiety response is similar to what the cave man would have experienced when in danger running from tigers or hunting/gathering. But in our modern world we're not running from danger or hunting our foods and its the small things that can tip us over the edge such as morning rush hour, losing keys and so on. These kind of things can create extra levels of stress which in turn increases the anxiety levels.

But there are a few simple steps you can take towards helping yourself feel better and hopefully allow you to feel more relaxed and calm on a daily basis.

1. Get Some Sleep - Although trying to get enough sleep when anxious can be a tremendously hard thing to do lack of sleep can have some serious consequences. Lack of sleep can affect our physical health but can also contribute to overall anxiety and stress levels. Since anxiety often leads to lack of sleep it can seem impossible to break the cycle so try as many routes you can to sleep more, relaxing baths with magnesium salts, meditation before bed, particular foods known for aiding sleep such as bananas etc
2. Have Some Fun - It can seem like a big task to take yourself away and have a smile or a giggle but when things are getting on top of you it can be a good idea to break away and smile. Research suggests that laughing can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety so check out some funny clips on the internet or surround yourself with fun friends to help make you smile.
3. De-Clutter - De-clutter your physical spaces to help minimise any added stress or anxiety. Its suggested that a messy work place or home can make it feel impossible to complete work and its never ending. The clearer your space is the clearer your mind can be and will be able to think more rationally.
4. Eat Well - Anxiety can mean that our bodies go completely out of whack and appetites may change, you may find you crave different foods, or don't want to eat at all. But if you can try to give the body the support it needs it can help with feeling more human/normal as the body is in sync. Try eating nutrient rich foods containing vitamin B, Omega-3 etc. Your body may crave sweet sugary processed foods but studies show that these foods can in-fact increase levels of anxiety so try to stay away from these sugary processed foods.
5. Breathe - A well known tool to help prevent panic attacks is to breathe diaphragmatically, in through the nose extending the belly allowing the air to flow then breathe out sucking the belly in, the chest should never need to move when doing this breathing as its all about breathing through the stomach.
6. Meditate - I have spoken about meditation in the past and its many benefits and its no surprise that meditation can help to alleviate anxiety levels, it relaxes the body and helps to improve mood.

In an dream world nobody would experience anxiety and we wouldn't come up with these thoughts that creates stress or anxiety. But we are all human and we do worry about things. So when you start to worry or freak out a little try to remember to calm the brain, relax the body and re-centre yourself to get your head back in the game. And as always if you feel you need further help please do go to speak to somebody who may be able to help you further.

• Health IQ – A life insurance agency that uses science and data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health-conscious people. To see if you qualify, get your free quote today at HealthIQ/Paula

This is episode 157 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering meditation and how learning meditation can make you feel great!

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Meditation has many benefits an if used can be a life changing ritual that you can partake in. Studies show meditation is essential to feeling well, eliminate negative thoughts, worries, anxieties and can help to block out all those factors that can prevent us from feeling happy within ourselves. Its believed that regular practice of meditation can mitigate the symptoms of stress and anxiety.

So if you're feeling a little off and not quite right then meditation could be your answer! But theres more....... theres more ways in which meditation can help you in your life.

What are the benefits of meditation?

The benefits of meditation is no secret, look at the highly successful people and you will no doubt find that a large number of successful people meditate. Meditation is known for its ability to relieve stress and anxiety and can have a positive impact on life.

1. Reduces stress - To meditate means to take charge of our own nervous system and emotions. Studies show that regular meditation can improve our ability to regulate our emotions in the brain.
2. Improved Concentration - Meditation has been linked to an increased ability to focus, improved memory a clearer mind is a calmer mind and a calmer mind can concentrate much easier.
3. Increased Self Awareness - Meditation can put you onto the right track of being happy within yourself. It can trigger the left side of your prefrontal cortex which is the part responsible for positive emotions.
4. Better Sleep - It is suggested that regular mediation can help to alleviate sleep problems such as insomnia and can allow you to feel more relaxed going to bed, with less wake times during the night.
5. Happier - Studies show that those who meditate regularly are overall much happier. when we meditate we gain an insight to our inner minds and can see negative thoughts without allowing them to impact us, knowing that they are simply just that "a negative thought"
6. More Relaxed - Meditation allows your mind and your body to relax, which means those external stressors are no longer such a big thing. Regular practice of this relaxed approach allows the body and mind to respond to stressors in a relaxed way rather than the fight or flight approach.

When Should You Meditate?

If you are new to meditation, It may be beneficial to practice regular 5 minutes meditation a day for the first week or so working on regulating your breathing, focusing on the breath and becoming aware of bodily sensations. The more you practice the easier it will becomes to get into your "zone" of relaxation. once you become a regular meditator you will know you're own routine and what works bet for you, some people like to mediate first thing in the morning to help them start their day completely calm and zen like.

• Health IQ – A life insurance agency that uses science and data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health-conscious people. To see if you qualify, get your free quote today at HealthIQ/Paula

This is episode 156 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering feeling lost in life and how/why does this happen and how you can find your path again.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

When we start to feel lost in life it can seem like everything is a muddle, theres no direction, no clear path of what we should chose and where to go.

Now whether you have lost yourself in your career, relationship, your parental role or just lost in life in general you are not alone. This is something I hear a lot in therapy, "am I weird" "is there something wrong with me" NO you're not weird or have something wrong that you can't fix!

Feeling lost in life doesn't mean your life is forever doomed and you're going to spend the rest of your days aimlessly wondering around never finding your self again. It simply means you are going through a stage in life that you can learn something from, theres no need to get stuck where you are you can help yourself get out from this state and start living to the fullest again.

How Can You Find Yourself Again?

1. Do what you love - Do you remember the last time you had fun in your life? What where you doing, what ignites your fire and makes you smile? When we do something we love its easy to go with the flow and be fully engrossed in the fun of the moment. As we grow we tend to lose sight of how fun and amazing life can be due to the number of increasing stressors from family, mortgages, careers, debt and mundane parts of life. But if you reconnect back to that inner child and do what you love do what makes you smile and creates that element of fun once more, don't allow any excuses anymore as to why you "can't" do the things you love make a commitment to yourself that you will do them and just see how much your life can begin to get more clarity and have more fun.
2. Have An Adventure - whether you can get out on a day trip or book a full excursion for a week or a few months go and explore. Taking yourself away from your "safe" zone which is generally our homes where we don't need to think about anything else and can dwell in how bad we feel, if you can explore you can free your mind and have time to re evaluate your life and where it is going.
3. Re-connect With Dreams - Have you ever aspired to do something big but always talk yourself out of it or you're just simply too busy? Well re connect with them, give yourself something to work towards, aspire to help yourself as much as you can to feel uplifted and awakened again.
4. Get Uncomfortable - Shake things up a little and make yourself uncomfortable every once in a while. We tend to get too comfortable in our routines and daily life that things get boring or mundane and theres no element of change or excitement. Albert Einsteins definition of insanity is to do the same thing day in day out and expect different results. If you're doing the same thing every day and wondering why you feel the way you do then mix it up and do something different to get different results.
5. Ask For Help - Theres nothing wrong with asking for help, simply opening up and letting people into your world is like a therapy in itself! Locking your feelings up so that nobody knows what you're going through only impacts you negatively, once you begin to open up you may notice everything feels a little bit lighter and easier.

his is episode 155 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to keep motivated when exercising.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

I have decided to do this post today because I myself have not long since got back to my gym routine since the Christmas period and being back has brought back so many memories of when I would always try to start a new fitness regime and fail over and over again because I just wasn't quite ready or motivated enough to stick to it!

So if you want to remain motivated and stick to your healthy fitness conscious way of life then today's podcast could be the one for you, and if you're starting out then welcome, buckle up and get ready for a new way of thinking.

Why do we fail at exercise?

If you're one of the many who make new years resolutions to loose weight and exercise more did you know that only 8 percent of the 45 percent who make them actually succeed?? now the most popular types of resolutions generally involve some level of fitness, weight loss or new healthy lifestyle. So why do we quit? How is it that we start the new year with motivation, enthusiasm to quit just a short period after?

1. Busy Life

Between having to work for a living and having a happy family life/personal life its easy to feel like you run out of hours during the day. Using this as an excuse is simply that, an excuse! The amount of times I used to say I have no time to work out but would then sit and watch TV or go on my phone, We all have time! Even a 15 minute brisk walk, jog, run, whatever you can manage to get your body fitter and stronger. The saying the more you do it the easier it becomes, well it doesn't get easier you get better at doing it! so stop telling yourself you have no time and make the time. Even if you "have" to watch your tv programmes do something in-between the adverts or whilst watching do some moving.

Get rid of all potential excuses, if you have 1 hour lunch break at work, cu it down to 30 minutes then spend the rest of it getting your heart rate up. This will have the added benefit of a midday energy boost to go back to work with.

Nobody ever regrets a workout, the only regret is the workout they didn't do!

2. Going it alone

Studies show that those who exercise alone are more likely to give up sooner than those who have a gym buddy, gym class, or workout with a partner. This is because when we go it alone there's no accountability. When we make a pact with ourselves its much easier to let ourselves down than a partner or buddy.

So if you find that you quit too easily and throw the towel in then perhaps start looking at who you could partner up with. Try some PT sessions, join some groups, theres so much out there from running groups, cycling, walking, dancing, cross-fit, the list is endless. Who knows you might meet some amazing friends at the groups who are all in the same mindset as you, wanting to get fitter, stronger and healthier. And they do say you become like the 5 people you spend most of your time with so surround yourself with health conscious people who help support you and keep you accountable.

4. Too much too soon

Too much too soon, or the burn out as i like to call it. Hands up how many of you started your new healthy life style aiming for 6 days a week, high intensity, full blown diet overhaul and found it all a little overwhelming. Don't think you can go from little or no exercise to marathon runner in a matter of a week.

Slow and steady, gradually build your stamina. Push yourself a little harder every time. experiment with food, nutrition and different types of exercise.

5. Not enjoyable

If you're exercising and finding that you truly hate every minute of it then try something new! Exercise should be fun, find something that you look forward to doing every single time and cant wait to go back for more.

If you ask a professional athlete why they do what they do they will tell you because they love it, they enjoy pushing their bodies to the limit, but that doesn't mean they enjoy every exercise, if you tell a cyclist to change to a runner I'm almost certain they wouldn't enjoy it as much and it would take a lot of time to adjust to it. so find something you enjoy!

How can you stay motivated?

Ok so I have in the past talked about mindset, habits, and this is the same. To stay motivated you need to start thinking differently, tell yourself you can do this. Here's a few small hacks I find help me to stay motivated when exercising:

1. Prioritise exercise just like you would anything else, make it a part of your daily routine
2. Plan your workout, knowing what you're going to do when you get to the gym is much easier than getting there and winging it.
3. Have a good playlist! This i find helps me so much, if i have good music i run faster and longer. Theres something about music and how it makes us feel so sort out your playlist!
4. Ask for help, if you're unsure of what to do and how to use equipment then ask!
5. Reward yourself for achievements, buy yourself something new when you hit milestones or personal bests.
6. Join groups, classes etc working out with somebody is far better than doing it alone
7. Sign up for a big event, plan for something a few months from now that you can work towards getting fitter and stronger for.
8. Have goals, having a goal is key when it comes to changing your habits and lifestyles, what do you want and how do you plan on getting there.
9. Experiment with new routines, there's so much in the fitness world that we don't need to stick to one method. Trial and error, if you love it continue.
10. HAVE FUN - enjoy the feeling you get when you've done your workout and know that you're doing the right thing for your body.

• Health IQ – A life insurance agency that uses science and data to secure lower rates on life insurance for health-conscious people. To see if you qualify, get your free quote today at HealthIQ/Paula

This is episode 154 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to save a failing relationship.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

I've decided to do this podcast as its come through from our Facebook audience and I hate the thought of relationships failing when they don't need to when all it needs is a little bit of work from both parties! Now don't get me wrong sometimes relationships can just naturally come to an end and both parties amicably agree to end their relationship.

So if your relationship is going through a bad stage at the minute don't throw the towel in just yet hopefully today's podcast can help you to turn it around and start afresh with your loved one.

Having a solid loving relationship is one of life's greatest joys. To have somebody in your life who you deeply love and build each other up can give the foundation of a meaningful life. But the truth of it is relationships don't just take care of themselves, they need work from both parties each and every day. relationships require commitment, self-awareness, willingness to change and grow and listen. You need to learn to shift from a thought pattern of "me" to "us" when you enter a relationship.

Relationships can survive life's ups and downs but when it comes down to behaviours and patterns is when it can have a more damaging effect on our relationships. Through my years as a therapist, I have seen many behaviours and patterns that would instantly raise alarm bells in a relationship that cause lasting damage and create lasting resentment.

Here are some of the behaviours I have come across and how you can begin to make some changes to save your relationship.

Damaging Behaviours And Patterns

• Selfishness - Being selfish in a relationship can cause resentment and a feeling of unloved or uncared for by the other partner. Focusing on your own needs and not taking into consideration what they may want, need or desire can create this barrier between two people.
• Unbalanced - When a relationship is unbalanced meaning one person always makes the decision on how money is spent or one partners extended family is always priority this can damage the ties that hold you together as a unit/partnership. Marriage and committed relationships are all about the partnership of two people, uniting two people as a couple and when this sense of partnership is tarnished this weakens that bond. When you disregard your partner's needs or wishes it signals a lack of respect for that person.
• Not making the relationship a priority - When you enter a committed relationship, you have to start thinking differently and making the relationship a priority over certain things. Even when kids come along we must make our relationship a priority, after all a loving relationship and loving family life is important for your children to see, and not a family life full of resentment and arguments. Nights out with friends need a little more of a thought process and a discussion with our partners to show consideration for their feelings too.
• Anger - It is normal for a couple to have discussions or heated conversations but when they result in raised voices, shouting and arguing is when it can begin to break down a relationship. In a relationship you should be able to discuss your feelings calmly and effectively so that voices don't need to be raised, doors slammed and so on.
• Infidelity - Now this is something that I have found comes along with a relationship that is failing somewhere along the lines, generally infidelity happens because there is something lacking in the relationship and not always physically. A lack of emotional needs being met, simple compliments not being said, physical embraces not happening can lead to infidelity. However, a relationship doesn't need to get to this stage if you can correct all of the smaller steps that lead up to this stage.

As you can see there are many ways in which a relationship can fail but you can stop it, it doesn't have to get to the dreaded infidelity stage, there doesn't need to be arguments with raised voices, resentment doesn't need to be a part of your life! If you want to save your relationship and get back to appreciating your loved one then here are a few tips you can try to hopefully get your relationship back on track.

How Can You Save Your Relationship?

• Talk - Be aware of your partner's wishes, sit down and discuss with your partner what you both want out of your relationship. Be open and honest with both emotional and physical intimate desires that you want, we are not mind readers so can't guess what each other wants.
• Make it equal - Everything in a relationship should be equal, housework, kids, money, activities, all of these things should be discussed and planned equally. It shouldn't be one person making all decisions whilst the other just plods along behind, you are a unit and you should work together in just that way united!
• Prioritise - Your relationship needs to be a priority, now I'm not saying that you should drop your friends and no longer enjoy your time doing what you like. But when you are in a relationship a simple discussion with your partner about possible plans coming up with friends could save that resentment building.
• Calm down - With any disagreement, it's important to respond calmly, if you have a disagreement with your partner sit down and discuss it together calmly. Let them know what they did that upset you, how you felt, where you both go from there also take on board each other's points and discuss how you can overcome the problem together. This calm way of dealing with things in a relationship can make you a solid couple knowing that there is no need for shouting, raised voices, ager doors slamming because you speak to each other.
• Intimacy - It's natural for a relationship to go through a dip in intimacy levels, but the less you are intimate the less you get the desire. Make a conscious effort to take time out together and be close and intimate just like the first few months of your relationship, it doesn't have to be complete intimacy, a simple embrace, a kiss, a gentle touch anything to keep you connected on an intimate level helps to keep that spark alive. If you find yourself tempted to go astray STOP, look at your relationship and try to figure why you're feeling this way, what can you change to make you feel loved, wanted, respected, appreciated again?
• Switch off - We are unfortunately at a stage where our phones, pads, tv, media has taken over our lives and it's having a drastic impact on our relationships. It saddens me when I go for a meal with my husband and look around to see couples on their phones taking no notice of each other! Turn them off, put them away, social media, emails, all of these things that distract us from whats in front of us are damaging our relationships. Try having a ban for a few hours a day and fully embrace time with your partner, notice things about your partner again that you forgot. You'd be surprised just how much time we spend looking at our phones and not our partners.

So there you have it! Give these a try and put some effort into your relationship before throwing the towel in, it can be saved you just have to work at it. Reationships dont have to be hard work they just need some work.

If you feel you need more help with your relationship issues please do look for your local relationship counsellor and try to work together on the issues you're facing, excluding your partner and not talking to each other only causes more issues.

This is episode 153 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to stay focused on a task whatever that may be.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Staying focused on your goals, to stay focused on whatever you set out to achieve is imperative for you to be successful. This can be anything from life goals, career goals, relationships, home tasks, fitness, whatever you want to be able to achieve you must stay focused. Staying focused means allowing time and dedication to things that are important, the smaller things outside of your goal become less important.

But, there's a balance that is needed, the phrase my husband's lovely nan said to him once "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" has always stayed in the back of his mind an when he needs to focus on his work I make sure to remind him every now and again of Nan's words. Hopefully, today's podcast can give you some tips on how to remain focused to achieve your goals but to also have that work/home life balance.

Studies say that the average human has an eight-second attention span, less than that of a goldfish. Over the years this has reduced due to our abundance of digital devices and always seeking and searching to find out whats new and whats upcoming. How many times have you "logged on" with all intentions of writing your exam paper, or finishing off a project to find that you have somehow landed on some random page with useless information that has nothing at all to do with your paper?

Well, youre in luck! You can train yourself to become more focused, see it as focus is like a muscle, the more you train it the stronger it becomes. Once you drop the belief that you simply "can't focus" you will see just how easy it is to keep your mind on track.

Here are some tips and trick to help you to stay focused and eliminate distractions.

How To Stay Focused.

1. Prepare yourself - Before sitting down to any task, clear and calm your brain. Practice some relaxation, I always say a clear mind is a calm mind and a calm clear mind can face and tackle anything!
2. Know where your focus needs to be - Being able to focus involves an understanding of what is worthy of your distraction. Take some time before starting to identify what deserves your focus and then block out time in your diary for that particular task.
3. Switch off - If you have a task that you need to complete and remain focused on be sure to log off, switch off emails, social media all of these things that can distract you quickly and easily. Anything that pops up on your screen to tell you that you have a new email, or a new "comment" switch them off. The second you allow yourself to be distracted by emails you're affecting your ability to complete your task whilst actually helping the person who emailed you to tick off their to-do list first! Emails and social media can wait for at least 30 mins
4. External factors - Simple things such as the temperature in the room being too hot or too cold can have an impact on your ability to remain focused, so make sure the thermostat is set to a comfortable temp.
5. Listen to some music - Having too much background noise can be distracting, but according to studies having low music playing in the background can help you to focus on your own thoughts. Have music that you enjoy and get settled ready to work!
6. Take some breaks - Rather than allowing yourself to be distracted during your allotted work time, why not build it into your schedule. Allow a certain amount of time to switch off the distractions and get work done but then also allow time for social media, emails, etc as long as you stick to your time frames, and allocated time blocks for each thing. Treat those distractions just like you would your workload. There are studies out that show taking a short break in the middle of long tasks can re-energise the brain and help you to re focus.
7. Know when to finish - This one is an important one for those with families and who need to switch off at the end of the day. Have a "finish" time for your day, taking work or exam stress home and allowing it to continue into the evening can have an impact on your home life. Before you finish your tasks for the day be sure to sit down and write your tasks for the following day so that you can go home mentally knowing that you are already prepared for the morning.
8. Have you time - This goes back to lovely Nan's words, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It's important to fully switch off at times, embrace some fun, let off some steam, laugh, pamper yourself, anything that makes you feel good/positive allocate time for this too!

So there are some useful ways you can begin to start focusing more and doing more to achieve your goals, have fun with it and trial ways of helping yourself.

This is episode 152 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to be less angry.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Ok, so today's podcast is all about anger and how if you are an angry person how can you stop being so angry and annoyed all of the time. Perhaps you don't realise you're an angry person? How can you tell the difference between feeling upset and being genuinely angry at a situation? Well here is some of the signs to find out if you are an "Angry" person.

Signs Of An Angry Person

1. Getting mad at little things - Anger can in some cases have a positive effect, "most of the time our anger tells us we need to take action but when it's unnecessary to react in an angry way is when it could be classed as anger issues. So for example, somebody who gets very angry at being cut off by another driver or having to wait for an elevator is highly unnecessary.
2. Interrupting - Angry people tend to be impatient, often they have trouble waiting for somebody to stop talking or to get the point of their conversation. Even when letting other people speak they might not actually be listening to what that person is saying and just pretend, in some cases, this can be very evident that they're not listening.
3. Complaining - People who spend a lot of time complaining about other people and situations may have an anger problem, you may notice that they will get progressively louder when complaining or visibly more irritated. Some may complain about politics, neighbours, the local PTA but the venom that is evident comes from the same source......Anger.
4. Holding A Grudge - When somebody has trouble forgiving/forgetting someone who has wronged them in the past. Angry people sometime can't seem to let things go and instead continue to re-experience the anger, frustration, pain and resentment each time they recall the wrongdoing that happened. when in fact if they were able to just let it go they would feel no resent, no hatred and their own life would benefit from it.
5. Overly sensitive - Generally angry people are very quick to take offence to something said or done. Comments that others may be able to laugh off sometimes can get under the skin of an angry person again being unable to let it go.
6. No Empathy - It's likely that an angry person will struggle with empathy or compassion for others around them although this isn't
7. always the case and some non-angry people can also struggle with empathy and compassion.

So are you an angry person? Being angry most of the time can become exhausting and can alienate you from social gatherings as people will tend to want to stay away from angry people. But don't worry if you are angry there are some ways you can begin to be less angry

How Can You Become Less Angry?

Well to start thankfully because you are reading this or listening to the podcast you're already aware that you may have an issue which is the first step to becoming less angry, the fact you know you have a problem means you're closer to wanting to make a change. But here are some useful tips that have worked for my clients in the past to allow them to start feeling less angry:

1. Think before you speak/react - When in the heat of the moment and in the midst of feeling angry its easy to say something you may regret at a later date. Before reacting or saying something take a few moments to collect your thoughts and calm yourself down from the initial angry response.
2. Once calm express yourself - As soon as your thinking clearer and the initial red mist has passed, express your frustration then. Explain to that person what they did and how it made you feel without the need to raise your voice or to hurt somebody.
3. Exercise - It's well documented that physical exercise can help to release stress and high emotions, so if you're in a situation that you can feel your anger rising go for a brisk walk or a run if possible.
4. Take some time out - During the day try taking short breaks during the time you would feel yourself getting more stressed and frustrated. A few moments of quiet may allow you to clear your mind and think about the situation more rationally.
5. Look for triggers - Being able to identify what makes you angry can make it easier to either avoid them as much as possible or to find a workaround that suits you and those around you.
6. Don't put the blame on somebody else - Now this can be a tough one for most people, when we feel angry its easy to blame somebody else, saying things such as "you make me angry because" when in fact nobody makes you feel anything. The fact you're angry at something or somebody is your fault, it's your fault you respond in an angry manner, not the other person.
7. Forgive - Drop the grudge, forgive and forget! When you hold a grudge the only person affected is you! I use the term "nobody ever dies from a snake bite, it's the venom inside that kills" And wow does it! Your venom inside that you hold onto causes you upset, causes you to feel angry and impacts your life.
8. Relax - Practice some relaxation techniques to help in remaining calm in situations, mindfulness, meditation, diaphragmatic breathing. these can all help when needing to relax.

This is episode 151 of the Absolute Mind podcasts and today I am covering how to curb those pesky sugar cravings.

This is a request from our Facebook audience and once again thank you for sending in your requests if you have any please do send a message with your request.

http://www.absolutemind.co.uk/freeanxietycourse

Please do bear in mind that we have created this podcast to be of some insight and some sort of assistance but by no means a way to treat conditions on their own.

If you do have any deep-rooted conditions or ailments that you'd like some assistance with on a one-to-one professional approach, then please feel free to contact either me or Michael on Facebook or directly through the website and we can arrange sessions that way or via Skype, whatever suits.

Sugar Cravings

Sugar Sugar Sugar, One of the most highly addictive substances this world has to offer! I myself spent years being addicted to sugar and when I would get a craving no matter what time it was I would get my fix and either get in the car and drive to the shops for some sweet stuff or raid the cupboards and find whatever I could to ease the craving.

Eating sugar and processed foods containing lots of sugar can create a vicious cycle creating that addictive behaviour. Sugar gives that instant feeling of happiness, energy, all the pleasure our bodies crave we can get it too easily nowadays, whereas our predecessors did not have sugar in abundance and they had to work for it, hunt for it. But when we give our bodies that quick instant fix this can, in turn, have a negative impact on the system after that sugar crash that happens, it can leave you feeling tired and irritable.

As hormones change the body attempts to raise levels of the feel-good hormone serotonin, sugar triggers serotonin release which then can cause that sweet craving.

How Can You Curb Those Cravings?

• Take it slowly - Become aware of what sugars you are eating including the processed foods with added sugars, sweets, chocolate etc and start to gradually reduce these amounts. Reducing them gradually can help with the intense cravings are you are not completely going cold turkey which some people find very difficult. If you can do cold turkey GO FOR IT!
• Have a new mindset - Rather telling yourself all of the things you can no longer eat, think of the things you can eat instead of sugar, make it fun trying new things that are naturally sweet.
• Make your own sweet treats - There are so many ideas out there now on how to make your own sweet treats using dates, avocado and cacao to make brownies, stevia as an added sweetener etc there are so many ideas that you could try out and enjoy making.
• Remind yourself why you want to cut sugar - With all things like trying to make a difference to your life it's always important to remind yourself why you're doing it, have a goal board look at all the positives and benefits to making this change.
• Don't buy it - Start right! by not having it in you can't mindlessly just grab it from the cupboard! there's a 2 step thought process that has to go into acknowledging the craving then thinking about putting your shoes and coat on getting in the car and driving to the shops and having this 2 step process can allow you to reprocess that initial craving and talk yourself out of it.
• Acknowledge the changes - Acknowledge how good you're beginning to feel after a few weeks of not eating too much sugar.
• Expect to feel moody - As with any addiction, as you begin to cut down its imperative you are aware and expect to feel slightly moody or grumpy as your body adjusts to the lack of sugar.

Take your time in the process and allow for setbacks its really not that bad if you ave a day where you eat more sugar than you had planned, a day in the scheme of things is nothing!