The Virtual Couch

By Tony Overbay LMFTHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement

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The Virtual Couch episodes

June 04 Murder on the Couch: When "I Did It For You" Is a Lie
A heads-up before you press play: this is a bonus crossover from my true crime podcast, Murder on the Couch, dropping into your Virtual Couch / Waking Up to Narcissism feed. It's heavier than usual and opens with a disturbing familicide case that I don't sugarcoat, so if that's not where you are right now, it's completely okay to sit this one out and come back when you're ready. If you stay, I use the case to get at the things we talk about all the time—shame, compartmentalization, the altruistic defense, emotional immaturity, and differentiation—because the behavior is horrific, but the psychology underneath it is deeply human.
John List killed his wife, his mother, and his three children—then walked away convinced God would understand.
Murder on the Couch is back. Licensed therapist Tony Overbay reopens one of true crime's most chilling family annihilation cases, but not for the manhunt or the famous 18 years List spent hiding in plain sight as "Bob Clark." Tony sits with the question that actually keeps him up at night: how does a devout, rule-following Sunday school teacher reach a place where murder becomes, in his own mind, the most loving thing he could do? If you've ever performed "fine" while something was quietly falling apart inside you, this one lands closer to home than you'd expect.
In this episode:
Untangle guilt ("I did something bad") from shame ("I am bad")—and why shame left in the dark only grows heavier
Spot the "altruistic defense": how control and harm get repackaged as love, devotion, and protection
See how rigidity, compartmentalization, and a performed self can hollow a person out long before any crisis hits
Learn the ACT distinction between the conceptualized self (the story) and the observing self (the awareness)—and why List had no one home to catch him when the story collapsed
Drawing on acceptance and commitment therapy, David Schnarch's work on differentiation, and Richard Rohr's reframe of shame, Tony brings 600-plus episodes of clinical insight to the cases that won't let him go.
Shame grows in concealment and shrinks in connection. And Tony's looking for a co-host—if a case has gotten under your skin and you know why, email [email protected] and pitch it.
00:00 Bonus Episode Setup
00:21 Murder on the Couch Returns
02:56 Content Warning and Themes
05:53 John List Case Opens
08:46 Show Relaunch and Co-Host Invite
12:40 John List Background and Unraveling
17:31 Compartmentalization Explained
19:53 Shame Versus Guilt
24:21 ACT Defusion and Healing
25:47 Shame Architecture of John List
28:21 Altruistic Defense and Covert Narcissism
30:49 Narcissistic Injury
31:26 Altruistic Defense
35:32 Love Versus Control
36:29 Rigidity Explained
38:08 Rules And Fragility
42:06 Eighteen Years Hidden
45:40 Conceptualized Self
48:35 Excavating The Self
52:56 Why This Case Haunts
54:31 Faith And Performance
58:07 Tell The Truth
59:41 Closing And Co-Hosts
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
1 hr 1 min
May 15 The Validation Paradox: Why Reassurance Can Feel Lonely
Your partner said all the right things. So why do you feel MORE alone than before you opened up? Welcome to positive invalidation.
That strange ache—being reassured into invisibility—has a name. It's what happens when "you're so good at your job, don't even worry about it" lands like a door quietly closing on what you actually feel. In this episode, Tony Overbay unpacks the science of validation, the paradox underneath it, and why the partner who soothes you fastest may be regulating their own nervous system, not seeing yours.
Through the story of Archie and Veronica, this episode explores:
Why positive invalidation stings more than the obvious kind—and how to spot it inside your own well-meaning reassurances
Dr. Marsha Linehan's "kernel of truth" definition of validation, plus Tony's four pillars of a connected conversation
David Schnarch's distinction between other-validated and self-validated intimacy—and why needing validation is the real trap
The co-regulation research (including the famous fMRI hand-holding study) that explains why your partner's bad day becomes your emergency
The four stages of competence, from "unconscious incompetence" to actually living it—and why stage two is where most people quit therapy
HALT, upstream versus downstream work, and a surprising tangent into energy landscapes and Buddhist non-self
As a licensed marriage and family therapist who's spent decades guiding couples back toward each other, Tony weaves together DBT, ACT, and Schnarch's differentiation work to answer one question: can you give validation as a gift without needing it back?
If something here resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear that they're not broken—they're human.
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
00:00 Welcome and Disclaimer
02:28 Meet Archie and Veronica
03:07 A Compliment That Hurts
05:08 Positive Invalidation Explained
06:35 Where Invalidation Comes From
09:10 Science of Validation and DBT
09:49 Four Pillars of Connection
12:31 Validation Research and Polarization
14:52 Schnarch and Differentiation
18:05 Self-Validated Intimacy
19:08 Non-Self and Interdependence
22:58 Co-Regulation and Fusion
26:08 When Comfort Is for You
28:11 Co-Regulation as Hope
28:57 When Growth Triggers Chaos
30:03 Energy Landscapes Explained
32:01 Biology of Pushback
35:02 Validation Paradox
38:12 Self-Validated Intimacy
41:12 Building Self-Validation
46:20 Veronica and Archie Revisited
47:09 Upstream vs Downstream
51:37 Four Stages of Change
55:00 Key Takeaways and Wrap
57 min
April 30 It's Not About the Dishes - Trojan Horses Hiding in Every Marriage
The dishwasher fight you've had a thousand times? Or is it about the laundry, where you’re going to eat, making the bed, and cleaning the kitchen? The truth is, it’s never really been about the dishwasher (or laundry, eating, making the bed, etc).
Couples therapist Tony Overbay walks through Jack and Jill, a 25-year marriage stuck in a low-grade war over how to load the dishes, and reveals what those endless arguments are actually carrying: a need to be seen, an effort that's gone unregistered, and two adaptive children from two completely different childhood homes still running the show. If you've ever been mid-fight and thought, "How are we doing this again?"—this episode finally names the pattern.
In this episode you'll:
Recognize the Trojan horse argument—how a fight about tongs, rinse agents, and which rack secretly carries the vulnerable conversation you haven't been able to say out loud
Spot the four signs you're stuck in one: repetition without resolution, the running tab of unacknowledged effort, kitchen sinking (John Gottman's term), and the hollow win that doesn't feel like a win
See how your adaptive child (Terry Real) brought the rules of your childhood home into your marriage—and why your nervous system can't tell the difference between a predator and your spouse walking in with "that look"
Leave the waiting room—where both partners want connection but each waits for the other to move first—through differentiation (David Schnarch), not conditional effort
Try three guided exercises—open the horse, flip the ledger, and one unilateral move—designed for one person, no partner participation required
Drawing on nearly 20 years of couples therapy, his training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and his four pillars of a connected conversation, Tony reframes the most exhausting argument in your marriage as a map—not a verdict. You're not broken. You're human. And the argument you keep having is pointing somewhere useful.
The Magnetic Marriage course is getting a complete overhaul that builds in everything covered here. Get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic.
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
00:00 Welcome and Setup
01:03 Dishwasher War Story
01:57 How Dishes Become Proxy
04:17 Inside the Dishwasher Debate
07:45 Jack Stops Helping
10:08 Childhood Dish Rules
13:38 Seen and Validated
15:16 Trojan Horse Concept
18:53 Four Trojan Horse Signs
23:26 Not a Relationship Crisis
25:05 Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous
26:17 Adaptive Child Patterns
30:52 Nervous System Triggers
32:18 Amygdala Hijack Mode
33:44 Learning New Skills
34:55 The Waiting Room Trap
39:46 Conditional Effort Stalemate
42:05 Trojan Horse Reframe
44:27 Differentiation Explained
47:29 Meaning We Assign
51:37 Impermanence and Hope
53:54 Reaching Without Scorekeeping
56:58 Dishwasher Reimagined
01:00:36 Tuesday Night Practice
01:02:44 Closing Encouragement
1 hr 8 min
April 16 You Can’t Cram for the Test of Life - Dr. Mark Redford on Flossing, Faking It, and Why Habits Never Lie
You lie to your dentist. You lie in therapy. And here's the uncomfortable truth — the patterns you think you're hiding are hiding nothing.
Tony Overbay, LMFT, sits down with friend and dentist Dr. Mark Redford to unpack one of the most fascinating overlaps between dentistry and human psychology: impression management — and why you simply cannot cram for the test of life. From the dental chair to the therapy couch, the habits you actually practice tell a story no amount of performance can cover up. If you've ever "prepared" for a dentist appointment by flossing for three days straight, this episode is your mirror.
In this episode, you'll explore:
Why your dentist can spot that you don't floss before you even open your mouth — and what that reveals about the limits of impression management in every area of your life
The concept of "cramming for the test of life" and why emotional growth, empathy, and trust can't be memorized the night before
How co-regulation works in the dental chair (and in your closest relationships) — and why calm presence is more powerful than joining someone in their chaos
The "post-cleaning motivation shelf life" — why that I'm a new person feeling lasts about two weeks, whether you're leaving the dentist or your first therapy session
The difference between unconscious incompetence and conscious incompetence — and why knowing you're avoiding something is actually meaningful progress
The hidden burnout drivers in helping professions, why pathological kindness can work against you, and what it looks like when patients (or clients) need someone to blame
Tony Overbay is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience helping individuals and couples move from stuck and confused to grounded and growing.
If Dr. Redford's calm, co-regulating presence sounds like exactly what your nervous system needs in a dentist, you can reach him at [email protected], follow him on Instagram @redfordsmiles, or visit redfordsmiles.com. And while you're at it — his wife Amy offers cooking classes for all ages, from cookie decorating to high-end culinary experiences. Find her on Instagram @onecutecookiekitchen or at onecutecookie.net.
Whether you're finally ready to be honest with your dentist — or with yourself — tonyoverbay.com is a great place to start. If you're a man who wants to build real emotional strength (not just talk about it), the Men's Emotional Architects group is open. Reach out at [email protected] to learn more. The updated Magnetic Marriage course is also coming soon — get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic.
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on TikTok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
1 hr 1 min
March 31 They Said All the Right Things (and Nothing Changed): The Anxious-Avoidant Trap w/Mackie Overbay
Why do the same conversations keep "resolving" without anything actually changing? Tony and his daughter Mackie unpack what they call "mouth sounds"—when someone says all the right words, uses the right tone, even touches your hand, and you walk away thinking this time it's different… but it never is.
This episode dives deep into the anxious-avoidant attachment cycle and why your nervous system chose your partner long before your conscious mind caught up. Tony walks through the Anxious/Avoidant attachment loop while Mackie checks boxes in real time—and then shares the raw, hard-won lessons from her own recent breakup in her twenties that every person navigating heartbreak needs to hear.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Why "mouth sounds" feel so convincing—and how both partners are projecting completely different realities onto the same conversation
The anxious-avoidant origin story: how your childhood wired you to find the familiar disguised as the opposite
Why consideration may be the highest form of love—and what it actually looks like in practice
Mackie's breakup playbook: feel it instead of numbing it, no feeling is ever final, there's no correct timeline for healing, and being alone beats settling
The hardest truth about leaving: sometimes choosing yourself means handing the other person the gift of getting to play the victim—and learning to be okay with that
Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over 20 years of couples therapy and 1,500+ couples to explain the patterns most people can't see until it's almost too late. Whether you're stuck in a cycle, fresh out of a breakup, or watching someone you love go through it—this one's for you.
Head to tonyoverbay.com/magnetic to join the wait list for the Magnetic Marriage course and start building the tools nobody handed you off the factory floor.
00:00 When Talks Repeat
01:11 Meet Tony and Mouth Sounds
02:21 Projection Behind Promises
03:34 Anxious Avoidant Framework
05:02 Mackey Breakup Lessons
06:04 Course Plug and Tools
09:58 Mackey Joins the Show
11:34 Dating After Breakup
13:04 Why Words Hook Us
15:05 Jack and Jill Origins
21:10 How They Attract
23:02 When Emotions Trigger Withdrawal
24:09 Differentiation and Change
30:05 Consideration as Love
31:32 Four Pillars and Victim Mode
33:15 Anxious Avoidant Patterns
33:55 Feeling Considered Matters
34:28 Inappropriate Outside Connection
36:09 Boundaries Trust Walk Away
37:36 Training What You Tolerate
40:46 Rapid Fire Lessons Begin
41:17 Feel It Dont Numb
45:00 Trust After Betrayal
48:54 No Feeling Is Final
50:13 Impermanence Changes Everything
53:00 No Timeline For Healing
57:48 Leaving And Being Villain
01:00:42 Wrap Up And Where To Find Us
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
Contact Tony at [email protected] to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course visit https://www.tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. Sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
32 min
March 07 You're Not Bad. You're Carrying the Problem: Shame, Triggers, and Healing
"I was triggered" vs. "I chose"—what if both are true, and neither gets to the real problem?
When a listener sent Tony a viral video challenging people to replace "I was triggered" with "I chose," it sparked a deeper conversation about accountability, nervous system science, and the shame-based frameworks many of us inherited long before we ever heard the word "trigger." This episode holds two truths at once: yes, adults are responsible for their behavior—and the initial nervous system activation that precedes a choice is real, automatic, and not a moral failure.
Episode highlights:
Why the word "trigger" can feel like a life sentence to trauma survivors—and an identity assignment to the people who hurt them
Rick Hanson's "first and second dart" framework and the four stages of change from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence
The critical distinction between activation and action—and why that space is where all growth lives
How Richard Rohr's reframe of sin as brokenness needing healing (not judgment) connects directly to why shame never produces lasting change
How shame gets installed in childhood before a four-year-old's brain can separate "I did something bad" from "I am bad"—and how ACT defusion offers a way out
00:00 Welcome and Course Plug
01:08 Listener Email and The Bet
03:33 Nick Pollard Trigger Reframe
04:57 Agreeing With Nuance
08:58 Trigger Word Cultural Weight
13:21 First and Second Darts
15:08 Four Stages of Change
21:21 Agency vs Nervous System
24:00 Pathologically Kind and Shame
26:46 Language Shapes Experience
27:18 Sin Versus Healing
28:36 Rohr Reframes Brokenness
31:08 Shame Keeps Us Stuck
31:57 How Shame Gets Installed
37:03 ACT And Defusion
40:13 Radical Acceptance Lens
41:52 Original Sin Culture Myth
46:43 Kingdom Of God Within
49:18 What We Learned Today
51:37 Closing Reflections
Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist, betrayal trauma certified, and host of The Virtual Couch, Waking Up to Narcissism, and Love, ADHD podcasts.
If the idea of change through agency—not shame—resonates with you, explore Tony's Magnetic Marriage course at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
55 min
March 03 Why "Me Too" Feels Like "Not You": Stop Fixing, Start Staying
You said, "That sounds really hard," so why is your partner still upset?
It's called the Empathy Dash — that moment you touch your partner's pain just long enough to check a box, then sprint toward solutions, silver linings, or your own experience. In over 1,500 couples sessions, Tony has watched this pattern quietly erode trust while both partners swear they're trying. This episode unpacks why your empathy isn't landing, what your nervous system is actually doing when you rush to fix, and a deceptively simple practice that changes everything.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Why "me too" on the inside lands like "not you" on the outside — and the intent-vs-impact gap where relationships slowly erode
Stealing Thunder: the real-time couples session moment that perfectly captures how sharing gets hijacked before it even lands
How your Adaptive Child — the survival strategy that kept you safe growing up — is now sabotaging your closest relationship
The neuroscience of co-regulation and why your calm presence does more than your best advice ever could
The 3-Before-1 Rule: a concrete practice for staying present when every instinct says fix, solve, or flee
Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over two decades of couples therapy, Terry Real's relational framework, and Dan Siegel's interpersonal neurobiology to redefine what empathy actually looks like in practice.
If you've ever left a conversation thinking "I said all the right things" while your partner felt completely unseen — this one's for you. You're not broken. You just don't know what you don't know yet.
00:00 Welcome and Where to Follow
01:15 Retreat Story Mental Load Misfire
04:56 Intent vs Impact in Bids
06:08 Attack Surface and Pathological Kindness
09:37 Sequencing the Conversation
12:26 Stealing Thunder Named
17:02 Catching the Thunder Grab
18:17 Drive By Empathy Metaphor
21:03 Empathy vs Sympathy Basics
22:36 Why Optimism Can Dismiss
24:02 What Empathy Actually Does
26:58 Real Life Fixing Examples
28:39 Spotting the Empathy Dash
29:30 Why We Do It
30:12 Adaptive Child Origins
31:39 Fixer vs Avoider Examples
33:49 Co-Regulation Explained
34:44 Two Ways to Respond
37:16 Four Pillars Framework
38:11 Questions Before Comments
38:58 Curiosity in Action
42:19 Three Before One Rule
45:40 When Effort Feels Unseen
47:35 Handling Your Triggers
49:27 Closing Encouragement
Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Contact Tony at [email protected] to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
53 min
February 17 Validation, Co-regulation, and Emotional Immaturity (with a Hint of Spirituality) w/Angela De Hoyos, ALC
What happens when your greatest strengths—your empathy, your willingness to self-reflect, your sensitivity—become the very tools someone uses to convince you everything is your fault? In this crossover episode with therapist Angela De Hoyos, ALC, Tony explores why validation feels like survival when you were raised in an emotionally unpredictable home. You learned that love could vanish without warning—so you became hypervigilant, endlessly working to secure a connection that was never yours to earn. Now you may find yourself starving for validation from the one person who can't hold it steadily.
You can learn more about Angela by visiting her website https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/ and subscribe to her podcast “Finding Balance with Mental Health and Spirituality” here https://www.findingbalancecounseling.com/podcast
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
Understand the origins of validation: why we learn we exist through others' responses—and how that wiring gets exploited
Discover why "pathologically kind" people attract emotionally immature partners—and keep trying harder when it doesn't work
Recognize the trap of "if it's my fault, I can fix it"—and why that belief keeps you chasing validation instead of building self-trust
Learn the crucial difference between validation and agreement—you can acknowledge someone's experience without abandoning your own
Build a 90% solid sense of self so you stop outsourcing your worth to people who use it against you
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
01:25 Guest Introduction: Angela de Hoyos
03:16 The Magnetic Marriage Course Pitch
06:20 Understanding Validation and Emotional Immaturity
08:15 Therapeutic Insights and Parenting Dynamics
20:46 The Concept of Co-Regulation
28:40 Exploring the Concept of Existence and Value
29:05 The Story of Jill: Unpredictable Childhood
30:33 Understanding Validation and Recognition
33:50 The Role of Self-Validation
40:59 Spiritual Perspectives on Validation
51:25 Final Thoughts and Reflections
Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
If you are interested in joining Tony's private Facebook group for women in narcissistic or emotionally immature relationships of any type, please reach out to him at [email protected] or through the form on the website, HTTP://www.tonyoverbay.com
If you are a man interested in joining Tony's "Emotional Architects" group to learn how to better navigate your relationship with a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner or learn how to become more emotionally mature yourself, please reach out to Tony at [email protected] or through the form on the website, HTTP:www.tonyoverbay.com
53 min
February 02 Duty vs. Desire: The Hidden War Inside Your Marriage
Why does your spouse get to want things while you're drowning in responsibility? That resentment you feel watching your partner pursue hobbies while you manage everything isn't petty—it reveals what Tony identifies as one of the "fundamental wounds" in modern marriages: the split between duty and desire.
Through the story of Sarah and Michael—a couple weeks from divorce—Tony explores how one partner can become a pure, exhausting obligation while the other escapes into hollow pleasures. Both are starving for what the other has, but neither can see it. You'll discover why the "serpent's trick" convinces us that what we want and what we should do are enemies when they were always meant to work together.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why feeling like "a machine that keeps everyone running" signals you've lost connection to your own desires—and why reclaiming them is actually part of your duty as a parent and partner
The difference between discipline that crushes your soul and discipline that creates freedom (hint: it depends on whether it's aligned with your actual values or just "socially compliant goals")
How asking "what can I do to help?" often puts the mental load right back on your overwhelmed spouse.
Why Michael's gaming and biking felt hollow even though Sarah assumed he was "living his best life."
The concept of impermanence—and why accepting that your beliefs will evolve is liberating, not threatening
Tony Overbay, LMFT, draws from over 20 years of couples therapy and 1,500+ couples to share the exact framework that helped Sarah and Michael move from combat to connection.
Ready to stop the cycle? Join the Magnetic Marriage waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic and learn what you don't know you don't know about reconnecting with your partner.
00:00 Introduction and Host Background
00:35 Common Relationship Challenges
01:53 The Magnetic Marriage Program
02:59 Today's Episode: Overwhelmed by Responsibilities
03:37 Meet Sarah and Michael: A Struggling Couple
03:57 Sarah's Perspective: Duty Over Desire
13:12 Michael's Perspective: Desire Over Duty
17:49 The Core Wound: Duty vs. Desire
21:50 Connecting to Universal Archetypes
28:10 Embracing Change and Growth
28:26 Embracing Impermanence
28:45 Healing Through Change
29:34 The Paradox of Certainty
29:55 Sarah and Michael's Journey
32:20 The Garden of Eden Metaphor
33:07 The Serpent's Trick
34:40 Modern Examples of Duty vs. Desire
38:00 The Role of Discipline
40:42 Integrating Duty and Desire
48:42 Personal Reflections on Duty
49:53 Values vs. Socially Compliant Goals
54:05 Sarah and Michael's Progress
56:24 Conclusion and Call to Action
Get on the waitlist today for Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage live course! Head to https://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic
Contact Tony at [email protected] to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
59 min
January 13 The Power (and Struggle) of Honest Communication in Relationships - Tony Answers Your Questions
Tony addresses a listener's question about feeling anxious due to a communication lapse with her husband. He delves deep into the nuances of relationship dynamics, emphasizing the importance of honest and continuous communication. He shares insights on how patterns in behavior reflect true priorities, touches on the significance of co-regulation, and explores how small, seemingly insignificant moments can significantly impact intimacy and connection over time. Whether dealing with newlywed issues or long-term relationship challenges, Tony provides practical advice on building trust and emotional intimacy. Submit your questions through his website, http://tonyoverbay.com
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:43 How to Submit Your Questions
01:42 First Question: Communication in Marriage
03:14 Understanding Emotional Reactions
09:09 The Importance of Co-Regulation
15:00 Selective Competence in Relationships
24:52 Intimacy and Sexuality in Marriage
30:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Contact Tony at [email protected] to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.
And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch
Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course
32 min

About The Virtual Couch

From the publisher's feed

The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through…