The You Project

Dr. Alex Koefman is back, and f**k, this is a fascinating conversation. If you're interested in taking a peek behind the neurosurgery curtain and gaining incredible insight into the myriad variables, factors, skills, and considerations that go into Alex's job (some things you wouldn't think about), take a listen. We've chatted multiple times on this podcast, but I think this episode will be the most popular. Enjoy.

dralexkoefman.com.au

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Some people live for a (relatively) long time but they don't live in a healthy, functional state for a long time. They have a long life-span but not a long health-span. Sure they might live for eighty years (for example) but for some, the last twenty years (25% of their life) will be savaged by medical issues, pain, immobility, sarcopenia (muscle wasting), loss of strength, balance and coordination, cognitive decline and understandably, depression and anxiety. We now know that health span (the percentage of our life lived in a healthy state) is largely determined (70-80%) by our lifestyle, exercise, daily habits, diet and in general terms, our choices and behaviours. This is a conversation about that. Enjoy.

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Allegedly, I may have given Patrick a hard time on the show. In the past. On occasion. Allegedly. Your Honour. Consequently, today was a shot at retribution for him and he took it. And if I'm being honest and self-aware - as I try to be (but often in vain) - I probably deserved some of it. Okay, most. As always, this was a fun episode masquerading as conversation about tech, but when I tell you that Patrick's first 'tech topic' was about a company using Al to convert black and white vintage porn (from 1896. I mean really vintage!) into colour, you'll realise how low the tech bar was set. Enjoy.

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Hi Team, I’m tied up today, so we’re going to revisit a fun chat I had with the amazing Gorgi Coghlan. *Gorgi Coghlan is a ripper. Real, vulnerable, philosophical, smart, driven, compassionate, perfectionistic (self-admitted) and great to talk with. She has worked as a successful TV Host, Presenter, Journalist, Reporter, Singer and before all the famous stuff, she was a passionate and dedicated school teacher. I love it when people I’ve watched on the telly for years turn out to be ace in real life. So, Coggers (as I now call her) and I spoke about her anxiety journey, her philosophy on maintaining a healthy marriage, the Untethered Soul (her fave book), seeking external validation, attaching to thoughts, interviewing famous people from around the world, recovering from perfectionism, hanging out with Will Ferrell, life on her farm, responding vs. reacting, the science of self-regulation and lots more. Enjoy. 

@gorgicoghlan

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F**K BALANCE Admittedly, it doesn't sound like great advice (and over the long term, it isn't) but it's been my experience (in my own business and academic endeavours) and my observation (working with others) that sometimes success, high-performance and creating something amazing and exceptional requires a period of time immersed in the middle of something resembling obsession, hyperfocus, and imbalance. With an occasional smattering of exhaustion. Like I said, I wouldn't recommend it as a general practice but it seems to be a common denominator among high performers. This is a conversation about that and other interesting things. Enjoy.

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For the most part, failure is a subjective interpretation of an objective outcome. For example... you run 10km in fifty-two minutes and interpret it as a failure because your goal was to run sub fifty minutes and you didn't. Your story is "I failed" and accordingly you ‘feel' like a failure. Your feeling is real and as a result, your literal experience is disappointment, sadness, frustration and maybe even, anger. Conversely, I run the exact same time (52 minutes) and I feel like an absolute rockstar because it's my best ever time. And while I'm feeling great, you're feeling rubbish, despite our identical result. We each have different stories and subsequently, we each have a different emotional, psychological and experiential outcome. Me, positive. You, negative. Same time, different thinking. Same time, different story. Same time, different self-created experiences. Failure. Winner. When it gets super interesting is when I tell you about the girl who also ran fifty-two minutes while aiming for sub fifty, but didn't feel like a failure because she learned a lot through the experience, and subsequently saw the outcome as a valuable lesson, which would serve her well in future events.

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How do we create connection, rapport and trust with an audience; be it an audience of one or a thousand? And for the guy who talks to humans for a living (me), it won't surprise you to know that this question is never far from my mind. Be it a corporate group, a sporting team, a bunch of students, a flock of academics (not sure about the collective noun for academics) or a bloke called Kevin sitting a metre away, my primary objective is to understand the person or persons in front of me, in order to create a meaningful interpersonal experience. This episode is a chat about all that, and a bit more.

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This episode is exactly what the title says. Specifically, it's me sharing and unpacking a small collection of practical coaching questions that I have used thousands of times over the years, with everyone from elite athletes, corporate highfliers and first responders to the general public, university students and even, blokes in prison. Enjoy.

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People-pleasing is a psychological and emotional disease of low self-esteem, insecurity, self-doubt, perceived inadequacy and unworthy-ness. And it's rampant. I encounter it every day and as much as it might surprise you, there was a period of my life when I was a world-class people-pleaser. Driven by a need for approval, social acceptance, popularity, security and group respect, I found myself complying, obliging and conforming out of fear, weakness and insecurity. This episode is a starting point for a bigger conversation, but I think you'll find some valuable stories, insights and strategies. Enjoy.

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It's been a wild ride. Kind of like a tempestuous affair. A relationship of peaks and troughs. Love and hate. Secret eating. Body dysmorphia. Self-loathing. Obsessive behaviour. Guilt. Shame. Lies. Breakdowns, break-ups and thankfully, breakthroughs. In my quest for optimal health, high performance and (let's be real) looking good, food has been my biggest challenge. Specifically, my mindset, choices, habits, behaviours and rituals around food. If you and food also have (or had) an 'interesting' relationship, this episode might be of interest. Enjoy.

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