Therapy Brothers

Caller Jackie: has a husband of nine months that has struggled with pornography for 20 years. She knew about his addiction before they got married, but was under the impression he had it under control and was working recovery. Her husband had a handful of relapses that he told her about during their marriage, but she thought this was the only problem. 7 months into their marriage, she found pornography on his phone. She then felt a wall between them and felt crazy all of the time, thinking she was the problem. Since then, she has caught him in several lies, but finds herself forgiving him and letting it go despite the toll it has on her mentally. Manipulation plays a key role in our marriage and she is struggling. Her question is, how do I find healing in knowing my trust has been repeatedly broken? And can someone learn to stop their manipulation?

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We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

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// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

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Caller Tyler: is 21 years old, single, christian, and has been able to find sobriety for 2 years. He has been struggling with intrusive thoughts that he wants to get a better handle on. Tyler realized about 2 years ago that his pornography use was ruining the life that he wanted and joined a recovery group online that helped him to stop looking at pornography. The brothers dive into Tyler's past and the origins of his addiction. They discuss the role of sexuality in our lives, especially in a christian life, and how trying to fight our sexuality feeds the compulsion. Additionally, they speak about what to do when we have these sexual thoughts.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Adam: has been on the podcast before, and has attended the rising son retreat. Adam has learned how important his connection to God is and how God shows his love through others. He and his wife have been separated a couple times and is heading towards a divorce. On top of that, his father had recently passed away. He is wrestling with re-discovering himself and dealing with shame. The brothers point out the "messy middle" that Adam is in where he now has a solid foundation of recovery but is still going through some difficult times. One of the most important things we can do while feeling pain and still being in recovery is to let yourself feel the pain and not numb it out. Adam recognizes that going through the pain drastically helps him in his addiction because he is letting himself feel rather than avoiding and numbing it out. Once we sit through pain, even from our past, we are able to learn to like and accept those painful parts of ourselves.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Jeneal: met her husband in college and got married. She recently discovered her husbands pornography addiction as he came home from a trip form California. A few years after this, Jeneal started noticing odd behavior from her husband. This led to some suspicions of an affair, which eventually came out when their daughter found the conversations between her dad and a coworker. Jeneal and their oldest daughter are struggling with feelings of betrayal. Since moving, there have been many changes that have happened in the family to get into recovery. The brothers dive into how to navigate helping the family heal, especially their daughter. The brothers discuss the importance of letting yourself feel emotions, even if they are bad feelings. They uncover Jeneal's need to take care of everything for her loved ones. Surrender becomes a key point that we sometimes need to have in order to free ourselves and allow others to do their own work. The need to let emotions flow and move within us becomes a crucial part of healing.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

The Brothers Discuss: the role the betrayed partner plays in the relationship. They talk about how a natural response of the betrayed partner is to get very involved in their partners recovery. Something that may be hard to hear is that it could be helpful to take a step back and not play such an involved role that may be to an unhealthy level. This principle can be difficult because of feelings of fear and wanting to support. An important point is to enable the partner to work their recovery for the right reasons. When a partner steps back from controlling their partners recovery, it allows them to see the true strength of their partner. The brothers bring up the difference between intuition and compulsion and that difference is compulsion is based out of fear. The key to the betrayed partners role is the difference between setting up systems of control and communicating with your partner and being open about their recovery.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Daniel: is 30 years old and has been married for about 7 years with 2 small children. He is a currently practicing marriage and family therapist. His addiction story starts with his family of origin. He had a blessed upbringing that gave him a lot of tools and knowledge that has helped him immensely. Daniel speaks about his family situation, specifically where he fell amongst his siblings and recognizes he did not have as much connection and did not feel significant. Daniel then explains his introduction to pornography the shame that he felt. He continues about how he feels to be on a plateau in his recovery and how he uses the pain from the addiction to motivate himself towards growth . The brothers discuss how to let go of the attachment to the addiction. The question arises, where do you get your value from and how has your addiction helped and hindered you?

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Caller Ariel: has been married for 15 years and had her husband come to her 3 years ago and opened up to having a pornography addiction. Ariel tried, from the very beginning, to be gracious and compassionate towards her husband. About 6 months after his disclosure, the betrayal trauma started to settle in for Ariel. Having her own sexual trauma, her husbands pornography addiction tied itself to her past trauma. Ariel speaks of their struggle to get into recovery and stay when they could only afford therapy for a little while. Ariel and her husband have 7 total kids with 6 being under 13, a farm, and homeschool their kids. Brannon helps uncover some of the roots of her husbands struggles and helps Ariel work on her own recovery. They then dive into how to get to those roots, even if you don't have much money for therapy.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

Brannon Discusses: topics people have a difficult time with, and topics Brannon gets feedback on that they do not agree with. Brannon dives into the principles behind the things that he says. He talks about why a therapist should sometimes "fire" their client. Brannon explains the most important thing is how much he wants to help his clients. He tries to help clients see their reality by being honest with them. Additionally, he dives into why two people can be in the same place experiencing the same thing, but get something very different out of that experience. The struggle of a therapist taking sides can be a real issue, and Brannon explains that he tries to side with truth, which may oftentimes feel like he is siding with an individual. Next, the issue surrounding forgiveness and positive regard for a betrayer can play an important role in the betrayed.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

The Brothers Discuss: ways to manage triggers and relapse. The brothers focus on giving you tangible tools to manage those triggers and relapses. There is a space between stimulus and response where you have power to choose. The skill of urge surfing is about learning to trust ourselves to manage difficult or painful emotions or a trigger. One must lean into the emotion or trigger with curiosity and seek understanding rather than trying to avoid or get rid of it. Emotions are like a wave and are supposed to move, and you need to learn to trust yourself to ride those waves. The brothers then go into how the brain works and how to not get stuck in the limbic system and move to the frontal lobe.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/

The Brothers Discuss: a question sent in by someone wondering what to do when they feel spiritual guilt while holding boundaries and moving towards divorce? The brothers dive into how to have a balance between your values and your commitments. Oftentimes, one of the most righteous things a person can do is to divorce in some circumstances. There is a dynamic among people with an addiction and their partners that has the addicted saying to their partner if you get healthy, then that threatens our relationship. This happens when the addicted is unwilling to get into recovery and wants to stay in their addiction. The brothers go into what needs to be present in each partner in order to achieve the best outcome for each person and for the relationship as a whole. Each partner must find themselves and not take steps of self-sacrificing themselves to the point of losing themselves. Then the question arises of what to do when your children are also involved and you want to stay in a marriage for them.

// SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN //

We'd love to answer questions you have about addiction, trauma, recovery, relationships, and healing. Ask Here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.therapybros.com/call-in-and-ask-a-question/⁠⁠⁠

// Tyler Patrick LMFT | "The Wandering Therapist" //

// Brannon Patrick LCSW | "The Expert" //

// COURSES //

// EVENTS //

// Reclaim Your Heart //

Join our new community for quality exclusive content, incredible courses, and real connection: ⁠https://join.reclaimyourheart.com/