Welcome to this episode. Our topic is Mother’s Day and why it can be tough for some people. In fact, some people hate Mother’s Day because of a history of childhood emotional neglect, abuse, or trauma. Know that you’re not alone and that many people have mixed feelings about this holiday. Let’s discuss it!

What you’ll hear in this episode:I hear four reasons from clients as to why Mother’s Day can be tough: 

• “My mom isn’t here and I miss her.”
  • Solution: Find ways to honor your feelings and her memory.
• “I’m dealing with infertility.”
  • Solution: Celebrate however YOU want, even if it’s unconventional.
• “My childhood included neglect, abuse, or trauma.”
  • Solution: Do what makes you feel special and nurtured.
• “I’m a single mom who is unsupported EVERY day of the year.”
  • Solution: Reach out to a friend who is also a single mom.
• I have two recommendations that might help deal with a difficult Mother’s Day:
  • Avoid social media on Mother’s Day and the day after.
  • Try a little self-nurturing lovingkindness meditation:
    • Called “metta,” it includes simple breathing awareness and the repeated phrases, “May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be kind to myself, and May I be free of suffering.”
  • Remember, you are NOT alone. Therapy can help!
  • Visit laurareaganlcswc.com/mindfulness for two free downloads and meditation help.
    

Welcome to this episode. Our topic is Mother’s Day and why it can be tough for some people. In fact, some people hate Mother’s Day because of a history of childhood emotional neglect, abuse, or trauma. Know that you’re not alone and that many people have mixed feelings about this holiday. Let’s discuss it!

What you’ll hear in this episode:I hear four reasons from clients as to why Mother’s Day can be tough: 

• “My mom isn’t here and I miss her.”
  • Solution: Find ways to honor your feelings and her memory.
• “I’m dealing with infertility.”
  • Solution: Celebrate however YOU want, even if it’s unconventional.
• “My childhood included neglect, abuse, or trauma.”
  • Solution: Do what makes you feel special and nurtured.
• “I’m a single mom who is unsupported EVERY day of the year.”
  • Solution: Reach out to a friend who is also a single mom.
• I have two recommendations that might help deal with a difficult Mother’s Day:
  • Avoid social media on Mother’s Day and the day after.
  • Try a little self-nurturing lovingkindness meditation:
    • Called “metta,” it includes simple breathing awareness and the repeated phrases, “May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be kind to myself, and May I be free of suffering.”
  • Remember, you are NOT alone. Therapy can help!
  • Visit laurareaganlcswc.com/mindfulness for two free downloads and meditation help.
    

This is Part 2 of a series about Sexual Assault Awareness, and today’s focus is on Childhood Sexual Abuse. Let’s jump right into our topic!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Childhood Sexual Abuse is “a form of child abuse including sexual activity with a minor who is not capable of consenting.” Remember that a child CANNOT give consent to sexual activity!
• Childhood Sexual Abuse is not always physical contact, but can include digital/online interaction, fondling, exhibitionism, child pornography, sex trafficking, and much more.
• In 93% of cases, the sexual abuser of a child is someone known to the child or the family.
• Most statistics under-represent the frequency of occurrence, but 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys will be sexually abused during childhood.
• Up to 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males have been sexually abused during childhood.
• Being abused makes it more likely to be sexually assaulted later in life.
• Most offenders are male, with about 33% being juveniles.
• There is a “grooming process” used by the abuser to draw the child into a sexual relationship, and usually, the abuser will fill roles of trust and value in the victim’s family.
• The effects of childhood sexual abuse are emotional problems, mental health issues, behavioral problems, and academic problems.
• The effects can also include PTSD, depression, anxiety, suicide, and eating disorders.
• Many times these behaviors are not recognized as signs of sexual abuse.
• Protect children by showing interest in their lives, knowing the people in their lives, and knowing caregivers especially well.
• Background checks and the sex offender registry are NOT foolproof!
• Know the warning signs, both physical and behavioral.
• Know how to ask questions to the child and how to respond without judgment and blame.
• Report abuse to the police or to Child Protective Services.
• Call the Child Help National Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
• Help is available at sexual abuse crisis centers. Visit centers.rainn.org and search by zip code.
• Be sure to find a therapist with specific training in the field of sexual abuse. Not all therapists are qualified to help in all areas.
• Other resources include: victimsofcrime.org and www.rainn.org.

This is Part 2 of a series about Sexual Assault Awareness, and today’s focus is on Childhood Sexual Abuse. Let’s jump right into our topic!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Childhood Sexual Abuse is “a form of child abuse including sexual activity with a minor who is not capable of consenting.” Remember that a child CANNOT give consent to sexual activity!
• Childhood Sexual Abuse is not always physical contact, but can include digital/online interaction, fondling, exhibitionism, child pornography, sex trafficking, and much more.
• In 93% of cases, the sexual abuser of a child is someone known to the child or the family.
• Most statistics under-represent the frequency of occurrence, but 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys will be sexually abused during childhood.
• Up to 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males have been sexually abused during childhood.
• Being abused makes it more likely to be sexually assaulted later in life.
• Most offenders are male, with about 33% being juveniles.
• There is a “grooming process” used by the abuser to draw the child into a sexual relationship, and usually, the abuser will fill roles of trust and value in the victim’s family.
• The effects of childhood sexual abuse are emotional problems, mental health issues, behavioral problems, and academic problems.
• The effects can also include PTSD, depression, anxiety, suicide, and eating disorders.
• Many times these behaviors are not recognized as signs of sexual abuse.
• Protect children by showing interest in their lives, knowing the people in their lives, and knowing caregivers especially well.
• Background checks and the sex offender registry are NOT foolproof!
• Know the warning signs, both physical and behavioral.
• Know how to ask questions to the child and how to respond without judgment and blame.
• Report abuse to the police or to Child Protective Services.
• Call the Child Help National Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
• Help is available at sexual abuse crisis centers. Visit centers.rainn.org and search by zip code.
• Be sure to find a therapist with specific training in the field of sexual abuse. Not all therapists are qualified to help in all areas.
• Other resources include: victimsofcrime.org and www.rainn.org.

Welcome! My guest today is Carolyn Daitch, Ph. D, author, and psychologist. She has written several books, including Anxiety Disorders: The Go-To Guide for Clients and Therapists, The Affect Regulation Toolbox: Practical and Effective Hypnotic Interventions for the Over-Reactive Client, Anxious in Love, and The Road to Calm Workbook: Life-Changing Tools to Stop Runaway Emotions. Carolyn is the director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Michigan. You might have guessed that our topic today is Anxiety. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Carolyn’s work includes lots of writing, teaching, and therapy. She explains.
• Her focus on anxiety work began early in her career, when she ended up seeing a lot of clients with anxiety and panic attacks.
• At this point, she began assembling a toolbox of resources.
• Carolyn explains reactivity and affect disregulation, how they are basically the inability to manage emotions.
• These disorders cause too much of a reaction for some, when a small stimulus seems like a “tidal wave” for them.
• Carolyn goes through the process of her Stress Inoculation. Tune in to learn more!
• Even therapists need to make a commitment to calm!
• Carolyn discusses how to “reset” when triggered, and how to use her Stress Regulation techniques.
• Her STOP solution is a four-step process; she explains its components.
• Her latest book includes a CD of her techniques and an app that can be downloaded.
• Each of Carolyn’s books has a section about the hardest part: following through with what works!

Resources:

www.carolyndaitchphd.com

Find Carolyn Daitch’s books on Amazon.

Welcome! My guest today is Sharon Martin, LCSW, a psychotherapist in San Jose, CA. Sharon writes the blog “Happily Imperfect” for Psych Central. Our topic today is Perfectionism—something so many of us struggle to overcome.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Sharon’s private practice focuses on perfectionism, co-dependency, people-pleasing, and anxiety—she tells us how they are all intertwined.
• Sharon works as a clinical supervisor, both independently and for a non-profit; she enjoys working with new social workers.
• In her 20+ years in this field, Sharon has had to learn to focus on self-care, knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”
• “It can’t just be about making everybody else happy.”
• Sharon says that some total failures can be re-labeled as “partial succeses.”
• Change requires that you experience some amount of anxiety.
• Co-dependency is a relationship dynamic where two people are dependent on each other in different ways. One takes on the role of caretaker, rescuer, or fixer in this lopsided relationship.
• In co-dependency, anger and resentment build up over time and the relationship becomes out of control.
• Perfectionism and co-dependency have some common characteristics, like not wanting to upset or displease and wanting to be “in control.”
• Perfectionists have a strong need to be liked and accepted; they need constant validation that they are “enough.”
• “There is no possible way to succeed at being perfect.”
• Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical and critical of others.
• Perfectionism is often mistaken for a quest for excellence and high standards.
• Many high school students feel this pressure, which can lead to depression and suicide.
• The solution lies in our ability to accept ourselves for who we are.
• “My purpose is to be ME, and not be a clone of everyone else.”
• In her therapy practice, Sharon uses the following techniques with her clients:
• Get in touch and be more aware of the negative self-talk in their lives.
• Reframe ideas about making mistakes.
• Find out how to let ourselves off the hook and forgive ourselves.
• Move past negative thoughts toward acceptance and positives.
• Ask, “What’s good about me and my life?”
• For perfectionists, there can be 99 positives, but a perfectionist focuses on the ONE negative thing.
• Sharon shares gratitude practice tips and how to make them work for you!
• The mindfulness approach can help us learn to enjoy the small things and the basic experiences in life.

Resources:

www.sharonmartin.com

www.sharonmartin.com/therapychat (Sharon is writing a workbook on Overcoming Perfectionism. She is offering a free sample chapter to download for TC listeners!)

Welcome! My guest today is Sharon Martin, LCSW, a

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Resources:

www.sharonmartin.com

www.sharonmartin.com/therapychat 

Welcome! Trauma therapy became my passion after I volunteered at a Sexual Assault Crisis Center in Virginia in 2002. I received great counseling experience and went through extensive volunteer training before I became an employee. I learned a lot about trauma, and even though sexual assault is not something we like to talk about, it’s a common problem. Statistics show that one in four women and one in six men will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, so let’s discuss this important topic.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Two types of sexual assault are Childhood Sexual Abuse (to be covered in a later episode) and Sexual Assault/Rape not involving a child. This is our focus today.
• If you are assaulted, you have several options to consider:
• Call a Sexual Assault Crisis Hotline. Visit the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network at www.rainn.org.
• Most hospitals provide a forensic evidence exam at no cost to you, within 120 hours of the assault.
• You have a personal choice to make: whether or not to report the assault to the police.
• The victim should tell someone who will be supportive. Visit www.evawintl.org (End Violence Against Women International.) Check out their “Start by Believing” campaign.
• The US military and most colleges/universities have separate options for reporting sexual assault.
• Keep in mind that the civil legal process is another option outside the criminal investigation; a settlement can be obtained without bringing criminal charges.
• The Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Abuse (MCASA) is an outstanding resource for survivors.
• Find a Sexual Assault Crisis Center Directory at www.centers.rainn.org.
• There are some common reactions of victims following sexual abuse. Find a comprehensive list at www.musc.edu. 
• There are many community events across the country in April to bring awareness to sexual assault. The events include The Clothesline Project, The Monument Quilt, www.vday.org, Take Back the Night, and Walk a Mile in Her Shoes. 

Welcome! Trauma therapy became my passion after I volunteered at a Sexual Assault Crisis Center in Virginia in 2002. I received great counseling experience and went through extensive volunteer training before I became an employee. I learned a lot about trauma, and even though sexual assault is not something we like to talk about, it’s a common problem. Statistics show that one in four women and one in six men will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, so let’s discuss this important topic.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Welcome! My guest today is Lisa Ferentz, LCSW-C, who is in private practice in Baltimore, specializing in treating child and adult survivors of trauma, abuse, and neglect. She’s a nationally known author, speaker, trainer, and consultant.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• After 32 years in private practice, Lisa knows that trauma survivors use coping strategies such as eating disorders, addictions, self-mutilation, depression, anxiety, and relationship problems. 
• Lisa does consulting work for clinicians in the US and Canada; she has written two books and has two more in process.
• Early in her practice, Lisa realized how important it is to approach her work from the viewpoint of being a good student and learning from your clients.
• In the exciting world of therapy today, incredible connections are being made between trauma and the impact on the brain.
• Lisa advises that clinicians be more aware and mindful in working with the body in trauma work.
• Lisa explains “dual awareness,” meaning being aware of what’s happening in both the client’s and clinician’s body during therapy.
• Lisa explains the “vasovagal zone” of the body and tracking sensations in the area that houses 80% of emotions.
• Trauma is stored visually and viscerally, and can present with actual physical pain, such as:
• Limb pain
• Fibromyalgia
• Chronic migraines
• Stomach/GI upset
• Fatigue 
• One technique is to start with the body and work your way into words to deal with trauma.
• Movement and expressive arts can also be used in trauma therapy.
• Simplistic art therapy strategies can open the door to visually-based modality when a client is unable to communicate with words.
• Lisa uses drawing, collaging, and sand tray art so a client can SHOW their narrative, share a memory, or process an emotion.
• Clinicians have to refrain from interpreting the client’s art for themselves.
• Lisa explains the stigma associated with borderline personality disorder as opposed to identifying the same client as a “trauma survivor.”
• Lisa introduces her books: Treating Self-Destructive Behavior in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician’s Guide and Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors: A Workbook of Hope and Healing. One is for clinicians and one is for laypeople.
• In treating trauma survivors, you have to give them new tools to replace self-destructive behavior—other ways to self-soothe and regulate their pain.
• Lisa explains why she doesn’t like standard safety contracts because they introduce a power struggle between client and therapist.
• “The goal is that trauma therapy doesn’t re-traumatize.”
• Lisa gives details about her Institute in Baltimore, in its 9th year of offering certification programs in Advanced Trauma Treatment, working with expressive modalities and traditional talk therapy. The Institute offers ethics training, from which 700 clinicians have already graduated. Her website includes a calendar of CEU training and the details about the Trauma Certificate Levels 1 & 2.
• Find out more about Lisa and her work: www.lisaferentz.com.