September 25, 2025

THIS Happens When YOU PULL AWAY FROM AN AVOIDANT

8 minutes

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Have you ever wondered what really happens when you pull away from a Dismissive Avoidant? It can feel confusing when the person who once shut down suddenly starts to pursue you. This push-pull cycle can be painful, but understanding it is the key to breaking free from games and creating real, lasting connections.

In this episode, Thais Gibson explains why Dismissive Avoidants often re-engage when you step back, the subconscious fears driving this pattern, and how you can respond in a way that honors both your needs and theirs. By learning these dynamics, you’ll gain the clarity to set healthy boundaries, stop repeating cycles, and know when it’s time to walk away.

You’ll learn:

✅ Why Dismissive Avoidants feel safer pursuing when you step back

✅ How “feelings minus fears” explains their hot-and-cold cycle

✅ The role of childhood conditioning and trauma in these behaviors

✅ Why pulling away works temporarily—but isn’t a long-term solution

✅ How to find the middle ground between autonomy and intimacy

✅ The importance of setting boundaries, deadlines, and direct communication

✅ How to know if someone is willing (or not) to do the work in a relationship

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 – Intro

00:49 – The Four Attachment Styles

01:46 – Feelings Minus Fears

03:39 – 1. Learn How to Walk the Middle Ground

04:34 – Discover, Embrace, & Fulfill Your Personal Needs Course Promo

04:54 – 2. Encourage the Other Person to Work on Themselves

06:06 – 3. Set a Deadline

07:10 – 4. Communicate Directly About the Situation

07:58 – Conclusion

Meet the Host

Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:

🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

📚 Read the Learning Love Book

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover MorePodcast Episodes

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog

https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

Let’s Connect on Socials:

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#DismissiveAvoidant #FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries

When you pull away from a Dismissive Avoidant, their fears of closeness quiet down and their true feelings often reemerge. By understanding this cycle, you can stop playing games, communicate directly, and decide whether the relationship has the potential to grow.

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By Thais Gibson

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