In this week's episode of A Millennial Mind, I sit down with Annalie Howling — performance coach, trauma specialist, and boundaries queen — to unpack the truth about people pleasing, approval addiction, and why so many of us feel guilty putting ourselves first.

We dive deep into the psychology behind saying yes, how it’s linked to childhood conditioning, and what it actually takes to stop caring what everyone thinks. If you’ve ever been called “too nice,” struggled to set boundaries, or felt drained trying to please everyone — this one’s for you.

✨ Who It’s For:

Chronic people pleasers who can’t say no

Anyone struggling with guilt, shame, or overgiving

Women tired of being the “good girl”

Anyone learning to protect their peace & energy

💡 What You’ll Learn:

Why people pleasing starts — and how to break the pattern

How to set boundaries without guilt or fear

The link between self-worth and saying no

Practical tools to stop overgiving & reclaim your energy

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll just do it to keep the peace,” this is the episode for you. It’s time to stop being 'liked' - and start being respected.

00:00 Introduction – Why We People Please

01:05 Meet Annalie Howling: Turning Pain into Purpose

04:20 The Truth About People Pleasing and Self-Abandonment

08:30 When Helping Others Becomes Self-Harm

12:45 The Guilt of Saying No

15:20 The Connection Between Guilt, Shame, and Self-Worth

18:40 Trauma, Control, and Learned Helplessness

23:10 Why Some People Resist Healing

26:00 Narcissism, Victimhood, and Emotional Boundaries

31:10 How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Selfish

35:45 Understanding Shame in People Pleasing

40:15 Fawning: The Hidden Trauma Response

45:30 Healing from Childhood Shame and Conditioning

49:50 Recognizing and Validating Your Own Trauma

54:10 Breaking Generational Patterns of Guilt

58:30 Setting Boundaries with Family and In-Laws

01:02:10 Why “Good Girls” Struggle to Say No

01:05:00 Speaking Up When It Feels Uncomfortable

01:09:30 Letting Go of the Need to Please

01:12:00 Final Reflections – Living Unapologetically

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind

Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau

Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast

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