A Millennial Mind

By Shivani PauHealth & Fitness Mental Health

A Millennial Mind episodes

September 29 Attachment Expert Answers: How to Go From Anxious to Secure | Dr. Amir Levine
Why do some relationships feel safe and easy, while others leave you constantly overthinking?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Amir Levine, psychiatrist, neuroscientist and bestselling author of Attached and his new book, Secure. We talk about the four attachment styles and why your style isn't something to heal from. It's a biology you can learn to work with. The little everyday moments are what actually rewire your brain to feel safer in love, friendship and family.
We talk about:
The four attachment styles, and why you can have a different one with every person in your life
The smoke experiment that shows the hidden strengths of anxious and avoidant people
Why tiny everyday interactions matter more than big therapy breakthroughs
The five pillars of a secure life, and how to show up for people even when life is full
Why one partner can't be everything, and how to build your "secure village"
The three pitfalls avoidants fall into, and the simple fixes that save relationships
"Wall tennis with love," a tool for anxious people in one-sided friendships
Why parents have far less influence on your adult attachment style than you've been told
How anxious attachment can be a superpower when you learn to use it
If you've ever blamed yourself for being "too much" or "too distant," this conversation will change how you see yourself and the people you love.
Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.
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#AMillennialMind #AttachmentStyles #Relationships
Chapters
00:00 Intro: why some relationships leave you overthinking
02:26 Welcome, Dr. Amir Levine
02:49 Why he wrote Attached and Secure
03:40 The four attachment styles explained
06:03 Different attachment styles with different people
07:59 Is being secure the goal?
08:30 The smoke experiment: hidden strengths of each style
10:50 Why the little moments matter most
13:43 When our first recording fell apart
18:43 Why attachment is a daily practice
20:15 What if your partner isn't secure?
22:46 Why different people support us in different ways
24:53 Turning "insecure" traits into strengths
26:55 Why we expect friends to be everything
28:42 When friendships drift apart
30:31 The five pillars of a secure life
33:25 The small thank-yous that make us secure
35:27 A loyalty program for relationships
36:15 How the human brain actually feels safe
37:37 The health benefits of feeling connected
39:39 Stop villainising avoidants
40:56 Avoidant pitfall #1: "Heal thyself"
42:53 Avoidant pitfall #2: breaking the baseline
46:09 Are you avoidant in your friendships?
47:03 Why teenagers pull away from parents
49:58 Avoidant pitfall #3: closeness overdose
53:23 How do I raise a secure child?
55:36 Sleep training, breastfeeding and attachment myths
57:44 Anxious baby vs anxious attachment
58:46 Attachment ingenuity: staying connected your way
1:00:29 How to handle an anxious friend
1:01:15 Wall tennis with love
1:04:14 When the other person isn't doing the work
1:07:54 What shapes the other 90% of your attachment style
1:08:21 What worms and dogs teach us about closeness
1:10:04 Why secure people don't overthink it
1:10:49 Anxious attachment as a superpower
1:12:34 The adopted sisters story
1:14:16 When your strengths become your swords
1:14:56 What he wants you to believe about yourself
1:15:36 Final thoughts
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast
✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/
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1 hr 21 min
September 22The 3-Hour Mom Debate: Are We Doing Motherhood Wrong? | Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa
Can you actually have it all, or is that the exact belief that's making you feel like you're failing?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa, a double board-certified plastic surgeon, mom of three, and the internet's most unfiltered voice on modern motherhood. We get into the myth of doing it all, the impossible standards placed on working parents, and why the "good mom" checklist most of us are measuring ourselves against was never built for the life we're actually living.
We talk about:
Her definition of being a good mom, and why she refuses to be graded on how she cuts a cucumber

Going into labor in the middle of surgery, and the brutal reality of maternity leave in medicine

Being mistreated at work while pregnant, and why she wishes she'd stood up for herself sooner

Meeting her husband and being radically honest about her goals from date one

Why the burden of self-sacrifice still falls on mothers, and what it actually takes to change that at home

Quality time versus quantity of time, and what she learned from watching her own parents

The soccer game she missed and the conversation that came out of it

Why women get judged for having help, and what her husband says when she spirals about it
If you've ever felt guilty for wanting a career and a family, or like you're constantly being judged no matter what you choose, this conversation will change how you see it.
Subscribe and turn on notifications so you don't miss the next one; it genuinely helps me bring on more incredible guests.
Follow Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa: [add her @drdhivyasrinivasa / https://avarawell.com/]
#AMillennialMind #MomGuilt #WorkingMom
00:00 Intro: the pressure to be a good mom
02:27 Welcome, Dr. Dhivya Srinivasa
03:10 Who is Dhivya?
04:17 What actually makes a "good mom"?
06:43 The fake metrics we judge parents by
09:16 The guilt of wanting to work
21:14 Going into labor in the operating room
26:15 Maternity leave in medicine is brutal
28:20 Mistreated at work while pregnant
37:21 Meeting her husband: radical honesty on date one
43:29 Why alignment matters more than perfection
45:55 Men, self-sacrifice, and equal parenting
55:12 Quality time vs. quantity of time
1:00:20 Reacting to viral "you have to be in the office" takes
1:04:36 The miseducation of sons
1:11:24 Confidence modeled by her parents
1:13:46 Dealing with mom guilt: the soccer game story
1:19:39 Feeling misunderstood as a parent
1:21:13 Advice for women judged by their mom or mother-in-law
1:28:44 Hiring help and letting go of the guilt
1:30:57 Why women get judged for having nannies
1:34:18 Her husband's take: "let's just get the help"
1:40:26 Next episode preview: attachment styles

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1 hr 43 min
September 08 The Limiting Beliefs Secretly Blocking Your Manifestations | Gabby Bernstein
On this weeks episode I am joined by Gabby Bernstein, New York Times best-selling author of 11 books and one of the most influential voices in personal growth and spirituality, joins us to unpack limiting beliefs, trauma, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust in yourself.
We talk about why manifesting fails for so many people (hint: it's not the vision board), the 4-step process Gabby uses to heal a limiting belief in real time, how she healed from addiction and childhood trauma, and how she's applying everything she's learned to parenting her son. We also get into friendships in your 30s, setting boundaries without guilt, and why willingness, not certainty, is the real starting point for change.
If you've ever felt stuck but couldn't articulate why, this episode is for you.
Gabby's book Self-Help is referenced throughout this conversation. Her new book, Unshakeable Faith, is coming soon.
⏱ Timestamps:
00:00 Opening
01:25 Meet Gabby Bernstein
02:25 Welcome & why this topic
03:26 How to start when you feel stuck
05:36 Willingness to heal: opening the door
07:44 Manifesting needs follow-through, not just belief
08:53 Recognising your own core beliefs
11:39 The 4 steps to healing a limiting belief
15:17 How Gabby met her husband
18:14 Gabby's story: addiction and healing
20:41 Healing after loss and grief
22:53 Solitude, fellowship and community
24:06 Friendships in your 30s
29:45 Working through "I can't trust people"
31:54 Relief and sadness in recognising your patterns
33:40 Dissociation and remembering trauma
35:18 Parenting through personal development
39:17 Becoming your own inner parent
40:22 Finding a partner who respects your journey
41:14 Practising patience with yourself and others
42:20 Trauma vs. limiting beliefs
43:32 Understanding your protector parts
44:51 Why manifesting doesn't work for most people
46:57 Overcoming fear of confronting your patterns
48:17 What is self energy?
49:36 You can't force someone else to change
52:27 Setting boundaries without guilt
53:22 Self-forgiveness and daily practices
54:36 Trusting the universe and faith
56:49 Closing & where to see Gabby next
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast
✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/
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1 hr 2 min
September 01 What Nobody Tells You About Being Self-Employed and Expecting | Shivani Pau
Can you prepare for a life you’ve never lived before?
In this deeply personal solo episode of A Millennial Mind, I share how I’m preparing for motherhood while trying to protect something I’ve spent the last six years building: my podcast, my work and a part of my identity.
I’m walking you through the exact framework I’ve used to prepare for a season where my time, energy and priorities are about to change from setting realistic deadlines and building in a buffer, to defining non-negotiables, systemising my work and learning to let go of perfection.
But this isn’t just about pregnancy.
It’s about preparing for any season of life where you know you won’t have the same time, energy or capacity you once did.
If you’re entering a new chapter, building a business, navigating motherhood, moving, recovering from burnout or simply trying to make space for what matters most, I hope this episode reminds you that you don’t have to do everything perfectly. You just have to decide what matters most and do your best.
In this episode:
• Preparing your life for a major transition
• The reality of becoming a mother
• Matrescence and changing identity
• How I’m preparing A Millennial Mind for motherhood
• Why consistency matters more than perfection
• The 4-step framework I’m using
• Setting deadlines and building buffers
• Defining your non-negotiables
• Systemising and batch-recording your work
• Learning what to keep and what to let go
• Giving yourself grace when things don’t go to plan

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29 min
August 25 My Husband Cheated On Me: How I Rebuilt My Life | Sahara Rose
What if the heartbreak that broke you was actually the beginning of becoming who you were always meant to be?
In this episode I sit down with spiritual teacher and author ⁨@SaharaRose⁩ for a deeply personal conversation about betrayal, heartbreak, identity and what she calls the “dark night of the soul.”
Sahara opens up about the night her then-husband confessed he had been unfaithful throughout their relationship and how that discovery completely dismantled the life and identity she thought she knew.
We explore why heartbreak can feel like losing yourself, the “good girl” conditioning that teaches women to find validation through relationships, and why healing isn't about rushing to become happy again. Sahara shares the Triple E Method Emote, Embody and Express that she developed while navigating the darkest period of her life.
We also unpack why love alone isn't always enough to sustain a relationship, choosing yourself after betrayal, celibacy after heartbreak, feminine energy, Dharma, rebuilding trust in your intuition and the powerful ritual Sahara used to hold a “funeral” for her former self.
If you're going through heartbreak, betrayal, a breakup or simply a chapter where you no longer recognise yourself, this conversation is a reminder that losing the life you knew can sometimes create space for a life you couldn't yet imagine.
In this episode:
• Sahara's experience of discovering infidelity
• What the “dark night of the soul” really means
• Why women can lose their identity in relationships
• The psychology of heartbreak and attachment
• Why love isn't always enough
• The Triple E Method for processing difficult emotions
• Why Sahara chose celibacy for 2.5 years
• Finding yourself instead of searching for another relationship
• Sacred feminine vs masculine energy
• Breaking “good girl” conditioning
• The funeral of your former self
• Rebuilding trust in your intuition
• Practical ways to rediscover yourself after heartbreak

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1 hr 26 min
August 18 Relationships After Kids: Why Even Strong Couples Start Falling Apart | Shan Boodram
Having a baby doesn’t just change your life it can completely change your relationship.
In this episode I sit down with Shan Boodram, certified sex educator and sexologist, to have an honest conversation about what really happens to love, intimacy, identity and connection after becoming parents.
Shan opens up about reaching a point eight months after having her first child where she genuinely questioned whether her marriage would survive. We unpack why the first year can put enormous pressure on couples, how resentment builds when parenting starts to feel transactional, and why both mothers and fathers can experience profound identity shifts after having children.
We also talk about mum guilt, maintaining your career after motherhood, navigating judgement from other parents, sharing the mental load, keeping intimacy alive when you're exhausted, and why sometimes saving your relationship means creating an entirely new relationship with the same person.
If you're pregnant, already a parent, questioning whether you want children, or simply want to understand how relationships evolve through major life transitions, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we discuss:
• How motherhood and fatherhood change your identity
• Matrescence and patrescence
• Why the first year after having a baby can be so difficult for couples
• The invisible pressures placed on mothers
• Mum guilt and choosing to continue your career
• How unequal parenting creates resentment
• Why fathers need emotional support too
• Maintaining sex and intimacy after children
• Sleeping separately without losing connection
• Why choosing not to have children isn't selfish
• How to rebuild a relationship that's struggling
• Protecting the parts of yourself you don't want motherhood to erase

matrescence, patrescence, postpartum relationships, intimacy after baby, mum guilt, working mothers, parenting relationships, relationship advice, motherhood identity, maintaining intimacy, parenting resentment, modern motherhood💛
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast
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1 hr 22 min
August 11 The Numbers That Could Predict Love, Money & Your Future | Kaitlyn Kaerhart
Can your birth date really reveal who you are, who you're meant to become and even when major changes could happen in your life?
I'll be honest: before this conversation, I knew absolutely nothing about numerology. And I had a LOT of questions.
In this episode of A Millennial Mind, I'm joined by numerologist and spiritual teacher Kaitlyn Kaerhart to understand what numerology actually is, why people believe our lives move through nine-year cycles, and whether numbers can really tell us anything about our relationships, careers, money and future.
Kaitlyn even decodes my own numbers, including why she believes this year makes sense for marriage, pregnancy and family and some of what she told me genuinely surprised me.
But I also wanted to challenge it.
Where is the evidence? Why do some descriptions resonate while others don't? Are angel numbers actually meaningful? And is there a danger in allowing spiritual tools to make our decisions for us?
In this episode, we discuss:
✨How to calculate your Life Path Number
✨ What Life Path Numbers 1–9 mean
✨ The Master Numbers 11, 22 & 33
✨ My own numerology reading
✨ Life Path vs Life Destiny Numbers
✨ What "karmic debt" means in numerology
✨ The nine-year cycles Kaitlyn uses to interpret love, money and career
✨ Why Year 6 is associated with relationships
✨ Why Year 8 is associated with money
✨ 11:11, 777 and the truth about "angel numbers"
✨ Whether numerology can really predict the future
✨ The danger of becoming too dependent on spiritual tools
✨ How Kaitlyn uses numerology alongside intuition and manifestation

Whether you're deeply spiritual, completely sceptical or simply curious, this conversation isn't about telling you what to believe. It's about asking whether the patterns we notice in our lives can teach us something about ourselves.
Let me know in the comments: what's your Life Path Number and does it actually sound like you? And if you enjoy conversations that challenge the way you think about yourself and your life, make sure you're subscribed to A Millennial Mind.
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

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1 hr 28 min
August 04 The 4 Life Lessons Pregnancy Taught Me (That Everyone Needs To Hear)
Have you ever gone through a season of life that completely changed the way you see yourself?
As I come to the end of my second trimester, I've found myself reflecting on the biggest lessons pregnancy has taught me not just about becoming a mum, but about life, relationships, health and learning to trust myself.
Pregnancy has been one of the most beautiful, exciting and vulnerable experiences I've ever been through. It's challenged me in ways I never expected, forced me to slow down, and made me realise what truly deserves my energy.
In this episode, I share the four biggest lessons I've learnt so far, including:
• Why protecting your energy is more important than listening to everyone else's opinions
• How pregnancy strengthened my intuition and taught me to trust myself
• Why your health is your greatest investment—long before pregnancy
• The reason choosing the right life partner is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make
Whether you're pregnant, trying for a baby, navigating a major life transition or simply feeling uncertain about your next chapter, I hope these lessons remind you that growth often comes through change.
I'd love to know which lesson resonated with you the most? Let me know in the comments below.
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to like, subscribe and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

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29 min
July 28 Why So Many Women Feel Lost In Their 30s (And How To Find Yourself Again) | Krista Williams
Have you ever looked around at your life and thought...
"I've done everything I was supposed to do... so why don't I feel fulfilled?"
In this episode of A Millennial Mind, Shivani sits down with @Krista Williams, co-founder of the ⁨@almost30podcast⁩ coach and retreat host, to explore why so many women feel lost during major life transitions.
Together they unpack why burnout isn't always caused by working too hard but by living out of alignment with who you truly are. From people-pleasing and perfectionism to hyper-independence, intuition and purpose, this conversation is for anyone questioning what's next.
We discuss:
• Why so many women feel lost in their 30s
• The hidden signs of burnout and misalignment
• Why achievement doesn't always lead to fulfilment
• Hyper-independence and learning to ask for help
• How to trust your intuition again
• Redefining success on your own terms
• Why purpose isn't something you find it's something you grow into
• Practical journaling exercises to reconnect with yourself
⏱ Timestamps:
00:00 Why So Many Women Feel Lost Today
01:42 Meet Krista Williams
04:28 What It Really Means To Be On The Edge Of A Breakthrough
09:18 The Female Friendship That Changed Everything
13:48 Why You Feel Lost In Your Career & Relationships
18:45 Betrayal, Intuition & Rock Bottom
25:12 How To Start Trusting Your Intuition Again
30:08 Why Women Feel Lost In Their 30s
35:55 Stop Chasing Your Purpose
41:46 Why High Achievers Burn Out
47:12 The Truth About Hyper-Independence
52:48 How To Redefine Success
58:42 Finding What You're Actually Good At
1:03:05 You're Not Behind, You're Becoming
1:05:48 The Journaling Exercise That Can Change Your Life
If you've been feeling disconnected from your career, your relationships or even yourself, this conversation will remind you that you're not behind you’re becoming.
🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast
✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨
Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/
Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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1 hr 12 min
July 21 The Biggest Lie People Tell After Cheating | Dr Tara
Is cheating always a choice? Can a relationship ever truly recover after infidelity? And is monogamy really right for everyone?
Most people think cheating is simple: someone betrays you, the relationship ends, and that's the whole story.
But what if infidelity is actually a symptom of something much deeper?
In this episode of A Millennial Mind, I'm joined by renowned sexologist, relationship expert and author Dr. Tara to unpack one of the most misunderstood topics in modern relationships.
We explore why people really cheat, the psychology behind jealousy, emotional and physical infidelity, whether someone can genuinely love more than one person, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal.
Whether you've experienced infidelity, are questioning your own relationship, or simply want to understand modern love on a deeper level, this conversation will challenge the way you think about intimacy, desire and commitment.
In this episode we discuss:
• Why almost everyone has experienced some form of infidelity
• The different types of cheating beyond physical affairs
• Can cheating ever be unintentional?
• Why people really cheat
• Emotional neglect vs personal responsibility
• Is jealousy a sign of love or insecurity?
• Can someone love two people at the same time?
• Monogamy vs ethical non-monogamy
• Can relationships survive infidelity?
• How to rebuild intimacy after betrayal
• Why self-esteem plays such a big role in relationships
• The biggest mistake couples make after someone cheats
If you enjoyed this conversation, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

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1 hr 21 min

About A Millennial Mind

From the publisher's feed

A Millennial Mind is a podcast about perspective, because when you understand someone’s mind, you understand their world. But we all live with limited data. Our beliefs, experiences, and knowledge are just a few dots. And if you don’t collect enough dots, you can’t connect them and you can’t grow.