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Are you REALLY asking for too much? Why do so many accept the bare minimum standard for involvement in a relationship? If you are left feeling unfulfilled in a relationship, what can be done about it? In this episode we touch on these questions and many more as we venture into relationship standards and why we believe that asking for an equal partner is not asking too much. Whether you are in a relationship with someone in active addiction, recovery, or a relationship unaffected by addiction, we believe the discussion will be enlightening. Our aim is to help you reclaim your sense of self love and self esteem with some actionable processes that will lead to empowerment so that you will be making decisions from a confident place rather than one of fear. 

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In this week's Paige's perspective, Paige is covering anxiety and overwhelming emotions. Paige recounts her struggle with anxiety disorder and how she overcame debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, and overwhelming fears. She discusses the tools she uses to break free from anxious thoughts and how she rationalizes "what if" scenarios and shifts to being present and away from anxious thoughts. She goes on to further discuss her experience with being overwhelmed and how she works through immense feelings of dread and running out of time. Recovery from a relationship with addiction involved is MUCH more than simply recovering from things like "codependency" or self sacrificing. It requires a renewed mindset and tools such as different ways to frame anxiety and a pragmatic approach to being overwhelmed. We hope this episode is helpful for you as you grow stronger and empowered. 

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This is an episode designed more like a charcuterie board than a main course. We discuss Independently Strong because we don't think we've really ever done a great job at communicating what it's about and the value to someone in a relationship with a person struggling with addiction. We then get onto topics that are beneficial to you right here, right now. We discuss emotional resilience and ways to increase resilience through mental frameworks, as well as self-care activites. When you feel like you've given all you can in life, remember that you have survived 100% of your hardest days and you're actually MUCH stronger than you think.

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Interdependence is important in our most intimate relationships. When one partner breaks down, we often find ourselves filling their cup and leaving ourselves empty. This is fine and well in relationships, but when addiction is involved the prolonged and persistent nature of the lack of support will leave you playing the role of both people...carrying an immense amount of weight. It's unsustainable. Rather than relying completely on someone to carry the traits you lack to "complete you" I like to think of a partner as a shining example of the traits I should develop as we work toward being two complimentary individuals, interdependent. Don't give up on your development such that you are left motionless and lost if anything happens to your relationship. In my opinion, this idea strengthens a marriage when both people are working toward this, not weaken. My goal has always been to be preferably with my partner, but fully capable without.

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Please just hear me out. The person that sent this to you is not as crazy or out of touch or nagging as you think. I'm not going to try to convert you to anything, I've just been where you are and someone that loves you dearly wants you to know there's a way out. If you were sent this randomly by someone, please listen. 

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In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige discusses "fake it till you make it" and the importance of this annoying phrase and how there's actually something beautiful underneath it all. There are of course caveats, and all of them are discussed in this quick pick-me-up episode!

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Betrayal trauma refers to the deep psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a significant betrayal within a primary relationship such as a romantic partnership and it impacts the victim's sense of trust, safety, and security. Codependency doesn't come close to touching on the trauma experienced by spouses and partners of alcoholics, addicts, or people that have been affected by infidelity, but betrayal trauma does. In this episode we discuss betrayal trauma and its roots, as well as examples and the reasons the effects from betrayal fallout aren't as simple as picking up and moving on. Betrayal trauma has psychological, behavioral, and emotional effects that last long after the events that caused betrayal have passed.  You have been through significant trauma whether you realize it or not and your healing journey begins with understanding concepts such as this. We hope you glean some validation and assistance for what's next for you as you navigate your challenges. We're here for you every step of the way.

Addiction Unlimited Podcast - This is the amazing episode on betrayal trauma referenced in the episode.

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In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige dives deep into how she moved out of the cocoon phase and discusses timeframe, how she got started, and how fitness and self care really got the ball rolling. In working through the cocoon phase, you will discover that you can do hard things, push harder than you ever have before, and become the beautiful butterfly inside using tools learned within the cocoon phase. 

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In this episode we discuss the cocoon phase of healing; a familiar place for many spouses and partners of alcoholics as they process the truth of their lives and relationships and begin to transition. The cocoon phase is important in the healing process or even through crisis as we reshape our identities, rediscover ourselves, grieve, regulate our emotions, learn, and establish boundaries. It feels scary and lonely, but there's massive benefit to this process for the resilience gained and the empowered person you will become on the other side.

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In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, let's talk about how to budget the f**ks you give just like a bank account. For a spouse or partner affected by addiction, life is overwhelming and things that once garnered a lot of your attention need to be let go - and things you never thought twice about, MUST be given focus and attention. Everyone only has so much emotional bandwidth on any given day, so let's discuss how to best budget your attention and emotions so that you can care for yourself and the things that matter most.

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