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In this episode of Paige’s Perspective, Paige dives into what it means to feel overwhelmed, especially when carrying the mental and emotional load of an unequal partnership or living with a partner struggling with addiction. Paige shares her personal experience with overwhelm, offering practical tips for finding clarity in the midst of chaos. From acknowledging your emotions to taking small steps, and clarifying your values, this episode gives listeners actionable advice for regaining control. Tune in to learn how to break through the fog of overwhelm and make empowered decisions for your well-being.

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In this episode we discuss the natural tendency to want to understand what is affecting your loved one if they struggle with addiction. Often times the journey of education is enlightening and fosters empathy and understanding, but it can also be a trap which keeps people stuck in a pattern of inaction. While understanding is important, it is not sufficient to "fix" anyone and runs the risk of keeping spouses and partners stuck in a loop of seeking to understand rather than taking action. We discuss benefits and possible dangers of over-intellectualizing addiction, we discuss separating the behaviors from the substance, and how you can take action to protect yourself and your family from an abusive situation that may cause you harm.

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This episode highlights National Recovery Month, with Paige focusing on the recovery journey not only for addicts but also for their spouses and partners. She discusses the often-overlooked struggles of spouses, who experience emotional abuse, loss of their sense of self, and the need to rebuild their identity. She shares a letter from a spouse of an alcoholic, illustrating the emotional toll they endure. Paige also discusses the Independently Strong program, which guides spouses through their own recovery using the VEER method (Validate, Educate, Empower, Recover), offering an alternative to traditional programs like Al-Anon.

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In the beginning, validation is KEY to the healing process, but at some point a decision has to be made. In this episode we discuss how to get from validation to making real changes in your life with the help of acceptance, impermanence, and the adoption of a growth mindset. So often our minds are geared toward guarantees and permanence so much so that we sacrifice the things we need for what is simply familiar. Come along with us as we discuss how we tackled growth within our marriage after addiction as well as in our personal lives and adopted a growth mindset.

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This episode focuses on understanding the roles that optimism, realism, and pessimism play in handling life situations. Paige emphasizes that each perspective has its place and that balancing them is crucial for making informed and healthy decisions. She shares personal experiences, including being overly optimistic in the past and learning the importance of realism and even pessimism in certain situations. Paige encourages listeners to reflect on their own tendencies and to integrate aspects of all three perspectives to effectively navigate challenges. The episode underlines the importance of facing reality, acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of life, and using this balanced approach to empower oneself and make better decisions.

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Many people have experienced a situation where they are asked by someone struggling with addiction for "support." They will tug at heartstrings, elicit sympathy, ask for loyalty, and beg for support- but what are you supporting? If someone is asking for your support, but they are not making a recovery effort, is that really support? In this episode we talk about our own experience where asking for support was little more than leading someone on and asking for dismissal rather than asking for support for a genuine recovery effort. We dissect the various meanings of the phrase "I need your support" in our own past in hopes to validate many that are experiencing similar circumstances.

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This episode from Paige's Perspective discusses the human tendency to care about what others think and the roots of people-pleasing behaviors. Paige reflects on how historically, humans lived in small, interconnected communities where fitting in was essential for survival. This instinct to please others was ingrained as a means to avoid ostracization. However, in the modern world, with access to diverse perspectives and communities, the need to conform to one’s immediate environment is less critical. Paige encourages embracing authenticity and going against the grain, even when it feels uncomfortable or when it goes against societal norms. She emphasizes the importance of finding a community that aligns with one’s true self, rather than trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t resonate personally. Paige also touches on how this mentality can be applied in daily life, such as making healthier lifestyle choices despite societal pressures and raising children to be authentic and independent thinkers. Ultimately, she advocates for letting go of the need to please others and living a life true to one’s values, even if it means standing out or facing criticism.

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Transitional addiction or "switching addictions" refers to the phenomenon where an individual shifts from one addictive behavior to another during or after the process of recovery. This can occur when the underlying issues driving the addiction, such as emotional distress or unresolved trauma, are not fully addressed. Instead of confronting these root causes, a person might replace their original addiction (e.g., alcohol or drugs) with another form of compulsive behavior, such as excessive exercise, workaholism, pornography, collectables and shopping, or even an obsession with recovery itself. The key challenge is recognizing and managing these new behaviors to prevent them from becoming equally destructive. In this episode we discuss our experience with transitional addiction - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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In this episode of Paige's Perspective, we dive into the impact of negative self-talk and the importance of self-compassion. Paige shares her personal struggles with perfectionism, shame, and cognitive distortions, and discusses how these negative thought patterns can hold us back. She explores the difference between guilt and shame, offering practical strategies for challenging negative self-talk and embracing self-compassion. Join us as we learn to treat ourselves with the kindness we deserve, accept our imperfections, and grow through self-love and understanding.

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Recovery is no doubt hard, but support is not required or deserved especially from the people substance abusers have hurt the most. In some situations, spouses and partners can feel like they're being held captive due to several factors: threats of self-harm if they leave a situation, phrases like "I cannot do this without you", being manipulated in various ways to keep you stuck in the cycle of dysfunction, financial control, isolation, guilt trips, and several other ways. Are you responsible for someone's recovery? No. You are not. You are no more responsible for their recovery than you are for their addiction and use. Is it helpful to have the support of loved ones in recovery? Yes. But it is not required and at some point we have to draw a line in the sand or create boundaries in order to keep ourselves safe from the dysfunction that is active addiction. In this episode we discuss signs that someone is effectively "holding you hostage" through manipulation and guilt, why this happens, and finally, what you can do about it.

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