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When your child’s tone, excuses, or sneaky moments feel eerily familiar, it can trigger real fear - are we replaying my partner’s behaviors? In this episode, we unpack the difference between normal child development and harmful adult patterns. We dig into nature vs. nurture (genes load the gun; environment pulls the trigger), why kids’ emotional immaturity is expected while adult immaturity is damaging, and how to respond without projecting old wounds onto your child.

You’ll learn simple, repeatable tools: name the trigger (“I’m reacting to my spouse, not my kid”), pause before correcting, teach emotional language, model repair and accountability, hold consistent boundaries, and spot the red flags that deserve closer attention. We’ll also share how one stable, nurturing parent can shift a child’s trajectory - and why your day-to-day modeling matters more than DNA.

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We’ve all heard it: “At least he’s a good dad.” It sounds comforting, but it’s often a cover for hard truths. In this Mindset Monday, we dig deep into what fatherhood really means - and why showing up at games, birthday parties, or posting highlight-reel moments doesn’t make the cut. You cannot be a bad husband and a good dad.

We break down the myths that underlying ideas and biases that keep this narrative alive - visibility bias, selective memory, social reinforcement - and how they let men claim the title of “good dad” while leaving their families with the real weight of dysfunction. We challenge the idea that you can separate being a father from being a husband, making the case that the two are inseparable: you cannot mistreat your partner, live in dishonesty, or create chaos at home and still call yourself a good dad.

Together, we raise the bar for what fatherhood should mean today: integrity, consistency, emotional safety, shared mental load, and modeling love through respect. We ask the hard questions: Would you want your daughter to marry a man like you? Do your kids feel safer when mom is around? Are you raising children who know what love looks like - or kids who will spend years recovering from the absence of it?

This episode isn’t about crushing anyone’s spirit - it’s about lifting men higher, giving spouses language to see the full picture, and inviting all of us to stop settling for the bare minimum. When we raise the standard for dads, we change families, marriages, and future generations.

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In this episode of Paige’s Perspective, I break down the difference between eustress (productive stress that builds resilience) and unsafe stress (toxic, chronic stress that erodes your health and peace). We’ll explore why your body often confuses the two, how adrenaline and cortisol show up in both, and the key markers that help you recognize whether stress is shaping you or breaking you.

You’ll learn:

• The dangers of unsafe stress and how it rewires your nervous system.
• The surprising benefits of eustress for your body, mind, and confidence.
• Practical ways to reduce unsafe stress and lean into stress that fuels growth.

This isn’t about eliminating stress. It’s about learning which kind helps you grow and which kind you need to walk away from. Because when you know the difference, you can reclaim your strength, your energy, and your life.

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“How do I support their recovery?” is probably the most common question families ask in addiction recovery, but the answers they get are often vague, contradictory, and unfair. In this episode, we unpack what treatment centers hand out to families, why so much of it is confusing, and what support really means. We talk about boundaries as a form of support, why encouragement and space matter, the role of positive reinforcement, and the hard truth that you cannot guarantee someone else’s recovery. You can support people in recovery, but you can’t recover for them. Besides some discussion on what functional and emotional support for someone in recovery could actually look like, we’re going to discuss what you can do - protect your dignity, your safety, and your future.

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Emotional intelligence is not soft. It is how you stop letting feelings run the show and start letting values drive your choices. In this Mindset Monday I break down what emotional intelligence really is, why it decides the quality of your marriage, fatherhood, and career, and how to build it with simple daily reps. We walk through the five components of emotional intelligence , real-life ways they show up, and three drills you can use today: Name it, don’t numb it, the 90 second pause before you respond, and a one line empathy check in that reduces defensiveness and builds trust. If you have ever said “I’ll do better” and then reacted the same way next week, this is your playbook.

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In this Paige’s Perspective, we get honest about triggers; the sounds, smells, and behaviors that send spouses of addicts into panic. Too often, these reactions are dismissed as character defects or controlling behavior. The truth? Triggers are trauma responses. They’re alarms your body sets off when safety is missing. We’ll look at common triggers, what they really represent underneath (betrayal, secrecy, abandonment), and why it’s not the alcohol itself but the behaviors surrounding it that do the deepest damage. This episode will help you reframe triggers not as flaws, but as signals pointing you toward what you deserve: honesty, trust, and safety in your relationships.

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Spouses are told to learn the addict, but who teaches the addict what their choices did to the spouse’s brain, safety, and sense of self? In this conversation, Matt and Paige build on Paige’s recent mini episode to name the gap in traditional recovery. We break down why amends without education fall short, how betrayal trauma rewires responses, and why partners are mislabeled as codependent when many are reacting to real harm. We walk through a family-program handout to show what is missing, tackle the pros and cons of introducing this education early, and outline what mutual respect and real accountability look like at home. Expect validation, clarity, and practical next steps for couples who are genuinely rebuilding and for individuals choosing their own healing. Your experience matters. Your recovery matters too.

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Our brains love comfort, routine, and the familiar - even when the familiar keeps us stuck. In this Mindset Monday, Matt breaks down pattern recognition: why we miss our own loops, how denial and rationalization create blind spots, and how simply naming the pattern turns “I’m stuck” into something you can actually solve.

We get real about sobriety (why “the safe number is zero” for some of us), relationships (no-contact, hopium, and learning to trust actions over words), and everyday goals (sleep, screens, the gym, sugar, spending). You’ll leave with a clear 4-step playbook: identify your top three patterns, map where they always lead, own your role in keeping them alive, and install one boundary or environment change that breaks the loop.

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In this episode of Paige’s Perspective, I dig into a powerful comment from one of our listeners: “As the spouse, I’m basically told to become an expert on their addiction, yet they don’t have to become an expert on my trauma.” This one line exposes the imbalance in the recovery world. Spouses are often told to go to Al-Anon, read the Big Book, and learn about addiction, but no one tells them to study their own trauma caused by their partner or expect their partner to understand the harm they’ve caused.

I’ll share why this matters so deeply, how living in chaos rewires your brain and body, and why hyper-vigilance, self-doubt, panic, and physical symptoms are not “character defects”... they’re trauma responses. We’ll also explore different forms of betrayal trauma beyond lying and cheating, from financial secrecy to emotional neglect, broken promises, safety violations, and more.

This episode is about reclaiming the focus: your trauma, your healing, and your right to be understood. Because recovery isn’t just about learning their dopamine pathways; it’s about acknowledging how their choices have impacted you and giving yourself permission to heal.

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Matt and Paige pull the lid off a loaded topic: resentment. You’ve been told to “let it go,” to forgive, to be grateful - but what if your resentment isn’t a defect...what if it’s a warning? In this conversation, we separate toxic positivity from real safety, show how resentment protects you in unhealthy dynamics, and explain when it becomes dead weight in a healthy one. We talk early recovery (why 1–2 years of consistent change matter), why prepackaged resentment slogans only work in safe relationships, how to name patterns without gaslighting yourself, and what to ask instead of “How do I get rid of it?”- namely, “What is my resentment trying to tell me?” If you want clarity on when to hold the line and when to heal, this one’s for you.

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