Another misleading episode title - because there's nothing that you need to boost!

Self-esteem is about how you think about what you think about who you think you are. How many steps removed are we from reality?

It's only our "Conceptual Self" that thinks it needs bettering, buttering-up, bolstering. The various tips that you'll find online about boosting your self-esteem are thoughts about thoughts.

And, as we know from previous episodes, we are at our best when we are not thinking. We are when we are not thinking.

So, do we need to stop thinking? And how much effort will that take? Is it even possible?

No, you don't need to try to stop something, you need to start being something... real. You simply need to come to your senses to actually feel who you really are - that way you'll stop thinking about it, stop thinking about yourself.

And, when we stop thinking, we start living. And that's a game-changer.

Actually, the title of this week's episode is a little misleading - after all, why do you need to deal with something that, in reality, isn't there.

Yes, whilst everyday life is full or pressure and challenge, stress is imaginary, in the mind of the beholder.

That doesn't make stress any less life-destroying, literally. Everyday stress kills, like death by a thousand cuts. Everyday stress damages the cardiovascular, digestive and immune systems - but not, not ever, beyond repair.

You can choose to rid your life of stress today - you don't even have to image something different from your imaginary stress, you just have to come to your senses.

In this episode, we explore how two-step cognitive appraisal triggers stress - in other words, what's happening to you doesn't trigger your stress, what you think about what you think is happening and how you think you might be able to handle it... all that thinking is what triggers your stress and, in the process, makes what might be a small, everyday challenge, feel like a life-threatening situation.

All this is automated but that does not mean that there's nothing that you can do about it.

On the contrary - the small steps that you must take to rid your life of stress are as easy and as natural as breathing in and out.

And ridding your life of stress is only the beginning because, once free of that thought-fuelled downward spiral, you're free to start living the kind of life you're meant to be living, one that's filled with perfect moments.

Regardless of your individual circumstances, there is one thing that I know you're looking for (because everyone's looking for it)... peace of mind.

Now, before we go any further, I do know some people who are not looking for peace of mind because they've already found it - they're owners of The Psychology of Success Online Program. You'll find details of that in the link in your podcast player!

Anyway, back to this episode. When you experience peace of mind, even for a moment, everything changes because your perspective is altered and, once experienced it cannot be unexperienced.

With peace of mind comes presence and presence is not just attractive, it's creative.

In this episode we explore how we effortlessly encounter opportunity when we're present - opportunity that your thinking mind could never imagine happening. I've picked a perfect client story to illustrate the point.

With presence comes an understanding that, in this moment (which is the only place and time that you can do what you need to do to get to where's best for you), all is well, you don't have a care in the world.

And that's liberating.

And, when you're liberated, anything's possible or, actually, the best's just going to happen.

We're talking about real success and happiness in this episode - we're talking about the real you and how different that is from the person that you think you are, the personality that fits you like a glove.

We're talking about how to balance work and life, how to rid your life of stress, effort and worry. We're talking about living your life on your terms, your way.

But we're not just talking about it - this episode provides both the instructions on how to do the right things in the right way at the right time (and no more!) and how that actually works in the reality of the cut and thrust of everyday life.

And we're exploring the actual difference that makes: to the structure of your brain and to your experience of everyday life - how others have changed their lives by changing their minds.

And how you can do that too. Today.

What does happiness mean to you? What does success look like? How would it feel to be living your life, your way, to the full?

Do you need to answer these questions? You certainly shouldn't exercise your mind in thinking about them!

In this episode, we explore how we need not define happiness and success, how we need to know what it's like to feel it and how, when we do feel it, even if only for a glancing moment, do we sustain it.

Yes, living your "best life" - an awful expression but you know what I mean - is but a breath away or, perhaps, not even that!

As is often the case, I sat down to record one episode and an entirely different episode emerged... it's called being in flow!

So, whilst the above title is spot on, I explore a variety of ways in which we normally try to succeed or excel, which simply do not work - or worse set us up for disappointment or failure - as an introduction to the last ten minutes of this episode when... you get exactly what it says on the tin!

What does that mean? You're getting simple instruction in proper meditation. You're getting a refresher in the importance of proper meditation and we're more deeply exploring what passes for living when you've not embarked on a program of proper meditation.

This episode goes around the houses just a bit before getting to the point but, as with life itself, the journey is what's important. Listen carefully, you never know when you'll have an "Aha Moment".

Well, now - there's so much in this episode!

We debunk the idea that you can get more out of life by working harder, not smarter. You don't have to work at all.

We get to understand your life's purpose. Yes, I already know it!

We deal with the confusion created by too many apparent bright ideas and we understand how, when we take our foot off the gas, we accelerate.

Yes - the whole process, the flow of synchronicities, the abundance of real-life, everyday results, everything accelerates when you ease up.

What do we mean by easing up? Well, you really should invest just over half an hour of your time by listening to this episode - it may be the one that tips you over that tipping point into living right now like you mean it.

There's so much in this episode: from reflecting on how you react or how you've noticed that you're less prone to reaction, to considering how you say and do what you might previously have been coy about saying and doing; from how your doing mind looks after you, does things for you to how your automatic mind does things to you.

We explore the hows of looking after your moment-to-moment behaviour, allowing yourself make the right choices and decisions and being agile to get the most out fo the moment.

And we highlight the significance of the apparent insignificance of the moment, the small actions, the little choices.

More than that, we realise that the future starts from where you are and that there's no merit in revisiting the un-undoable past, because... the past does not belong to you. You really need to listen to understand what I mean by that!

All in all, in this episode we take another one of those proverbial steps in the right direction.

Which of the above three words is bad?

In this episode we explore and explode some of the myths about goal-setting and, then, how get a feel for what is best for you.

Yes, I did not say what you "want" - we can have so much more out of life than we think we want.

We investigate how, in clearing your mind, everything becomes clearer: your own self-worth, your perspective of reality, the things that are most important to you and what your heart truly desires. Big stuff, the stuff that a great life is made of.

But, then, there comes a very important word of caution which could be summed up as follows: play your cards close to your chest.

Yes, all that - and more - is to be explored in this episode.

You never know when you're going to learn something new, just like we can never anticipate having an Aha Moment - if we could it wouldn't be an Aha Moment!

And we never know who's going to teach us - learning comes from the most unlikely places.

In this episode we explore signs, signposts, opportunities and synchronicities - all easily spotted, embraced and followed... when we are present.

Are we talking about "presence of mind" - much more than that. Are we talking about "mindfulness" - well that's just a means to an end or, should I say, a means to ever moving forward because it's not the "end" that matters, it is the now.

A couple of everyday practical examples will explain how flow works in practice, how energy works in what our normal way of thinking would consider to be mysterious ways.

And how, when we just let go - to coin a phrase! - all good things "fall into our lap" - effortlessly, of course.