Men have been conditioned to see life as either winning or losing, and to avoid failure at all costs. So when a woman expresses upset, a man invalidates her feelings and tells her it’s no big deal. This just pours gas on the fire.

In this episode, Lorin explores the problem of defensive behaviour in men, particularly in their intimate relationships with women. This behaviour creates a lack of safety and trust, leading to disconnection and even relationship breakdowns.

For women facing a transgression by a man, the solution is to communicate their upset by criticising the incident, and not attacking the person. For men, it’s to understand and heal the generational trauma that causes defensive behaviour, and to learn to remain grounded and non-reactive in the face of conflict.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Cycle Breaker’s Path

Healing Your Relationship with the Masculine