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The question “Why did you do it?” is one of the hardest parts of affair recovery. In this episode, Tim Tedder explores why many unfaithful partners struggle to explain their behavior and why simple answers rarely satisfy the person who’s been betrayed. Through real-life comments and a new audio sketch, he illustrates how confusion, shame, and self-protection often block understanding in the early stages of healing.
Tim then offers a practical framework for finding real clarity. He walks listeners through five areas of reflection—steps of compromise, historical risks, personal risks, relationship risks, and circumstantial risks—that help reveal how an affair unfolded and what must change to prevent it from happening again. The goal isn’t just explanation, but transformation: learning from the past to build a more honest, secure, and fulfilling relationship.
LINKS and EXTRAS
Episode Web Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/026
Learn more about The RENOVATE Project
Other related episodes: Crossing the Line and 6 Affair Motives
Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.
By Tim Tedder, LMHC4.6
246246 ratings
The question “Why did you do it?” is one of the hardest parts of affair recovery. In this episode, Tim Tedder explores why many unfaithful partners struggle to explain their behavior and why simple answers rarely satisfy the person who’s been betrayed. Through real-life comments and a new audio sketch, he illustrates how confusion, shame, and self-protection often block understanding in the early stages of healing.
Tim then offers a practical framework for finding real clarity. He walks listeners through five areas of reflection—steps of compromise, historical risks, personal risks, relationship risks, and circumstantial risks—that help reveal how an affair unfolded and what must change to prevent it from happening again. The goal isn’t just explanation, but transformation: learning from the past to build a more honest, secure, and fulfilling relationship.
LINKS and EXTRAS
Episode Web Page: https://affairhealing.com/podcasts/026
Learn more about The RENOVATE Project
Other related episodes: Crossing the Line and 6 Affair Motives
Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

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