Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

By Ashley Jameson, Heather Kolb, Pure Desire MinistriesHealth & Fitness Religion & Spirituality Christianity Education Self-Improvement Sexuality

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Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love episodes

October 20 123 - How to Know If He’s Truly Changing After Betrayal
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
- I’m six months into my husband’s second attempt at recovery, and I’m afraid he may be sober without truly addressing the underlying issues. How can I know he’s genuinely pursuing lasting recovery?
- I feel detached from my feelings and marriage after years of disclosures and broken trust. How can I honestly know whether I want to stay, especially when hope, fear, and wanting to do the right thing make me feel like I don’t have a choice?
- After my husband’s disclosure, I confided in his parents and initially felt supported. Now they’re telling me to trust God, forgive, and stop being suspicious. How do I respond when I no longer feel safe confiding in them?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at [email protected].
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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16 min
October 13 122 - Finding the Meaning Behind My Sexual Behaviors
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
- As a woman who struggles, I carry so much shame about it. Sometimes I wonder if this behavior says something terrible about who I am. How do I separate my identity from my struggles and begin healing without being consumed by shame?
- I've noticed that my sexual behaviors often increase when I feel lonely, rejected, stressed, or emotionally overwhelmed. I know the behavior isn’t really meeting the need underneath it, but I still keep going back to it. How do I learn to recognize and respond to those deeper needs differently?
- I’ve realized that a lot of my sexual behavior is connected to wanting to feel attractive, desired, or validated by other people. Even when I know I’m crossing boundaries, that attention can feel incredibly powerful. Why do I crave that validation so much, and how do I begin changing that pattern?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at [email protected].
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
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16 min
October 06 121 - Realistic Expectations for Sex Addiction Recovery
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer the following questions:
- Since in recovery, I see some changes in my husband, but I still experience defensiveness, blame-shifting, and a lack of empathy. I’m struggling to know if I’m expecting too much. Can true recovery happen without accountability, emotional safety, and genuine empathy?
- I see my husband making meaningful recovery changes, but I’m concerned he still views sex—his “biological need”—as a solution to his addiction. How do we understand healthy sexuality, intimacy, and responsibility without placing his recovery on me?
- Just as I was beginning to heal, I discovered my husband has had sexual fantasies involving my sisters and close friends. This level of betrayal feels deeper and seems different from masturbating to strangers. Is this common in addiction, and how do I recover from such a personal betrayal?
If you'd like your questions answered on Unfiltered, send them to us at [email protected].

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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15 min
September 29120 - The Painful Process of Rebuilding Trust
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
I’m struggling to trust that my husband is being honest about relapses, especially when I don’t always know the truth. This is why we’re taking a break from sex. How can trust be rebuilt, and when is it healthy to reintroduce sexual intimacy into our marriage?
Four months after discovery, I’m struggling to know what transparency should look like in recovery. How much should my husband share about his struggles, and how can trust grow if he says I’m not safe to tell?
After our full disclosure, I was devastated. My husband is fully committed to recovery, and I see real change, yet I still want to leave. Can healing happen even when trust seems impossible to rebuild?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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17 min
September 22119 - How To Stop Sexually Acting Out
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
I’ve been hiding my sexual behaviors for years, and I’m exhausted from living a double life. I love God and want freedom, but I keep falling back into the same patterns. How do I break the cycle of shame and believe lasting recovery is possible?
I know my behaviors have hurt the people I love, and I want to be honest, but I’m terrified of the consequences. I don’t know how to balance taking responsibility with not overwhelming others. What does healthy honesty and disclosure look like in recovery?
I’m beginning to realize my sexual behaviors have been a way of coping with loneliness, stress, and unresolved pain. If I take these behaviors away, I’m afraid of what I’ll be left to face. How do I heal the deeper wounds without returning to old coping mechanisms?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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19 min
September 15118 - Finding Your Identity After Betrayal
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
After decades of sexual abuse and coercive control, I finally divorced. Even now, I struggle to believe I'm valued beyond sex and to feel safe. How can I heal from these deep wounds and reclaim my worth?
My husband shows signs of change, but after years of him attacking my character and wanting physical connection, the emotional whiplash leaves me unable to trust. I’ve lost confidence in myself and feel like I’m barely surviving. How do I begin to heal?
Is lasting sobriety from pornography actually realistic, or am I signing up for being retraumatized indefinitely with every relapse? I feel like every relapse cuts away at my soul and I’m losing myself in this battle.
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Resources:
Register For The 2026 Summit Now!
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
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16 min
September 08 117 - The Disturbing Reality of Sexual Addiction
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
- I’m struggling to reconcile my husband’s faith with the disturbing, demented, and truly evil sexual behaviors I discovered. How do I process the shock of what he’s done without minimizing the harm or becoming consumed by it?
- I struggle to be around my spouse after years of betrayal and pseudo-recovery. Every kind of connection feels repulsive, and I need language for how I’m feeling. Is this reaction normal, and what does healing look like?
- After our full disclosure and hearing everything my husband has done, I feel like I’m married to a stranger. Will this feeling ever go away? Will he ever be the man I married?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
15 min
September 01116 - Parenting through Addiction Recovery and Betrayal
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
I discovered my husband’s porn addiction 4 years into our marriage. By the grace of God we’re still married. Then 20 years into our marriage discovered that our son was addicted to same sex porn. At the time, we chose not to tell our younger daughter or extended family. Our daughter is now 20 and still doesn’t know. I don’t want to be the secret keeper or betray my daughter, and yet feel like this is my son’s story to tell. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

My husband disclosed his porn addiction before we married. Despite all of counseling, coaching, and ongoing recovery work, he still relapses once a month. Recently he crossed one of my firm boundaries: watching porn while home alone with our three young children. When I tried to talk with him about it, he said he felt unsafe and questioned whether my boundaries were helping me. I’m at a loss on how to move forward in this relationship and how to protect my kids.

As a parent, I’m determined to break the cycle and create a healthier home for my children than the one we’ve experienced. What are the most important things I can do today to help them grow up with safety, trust, and healthy views of sexuality?
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
15 min
August 25115 - Navigating Betrayal in Everyday Life
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
I used ChatGPT to understand the pornography my husband viewed because I was desperate for answers. He now says this proves I have poor judgment. Was my response understandable or harmful?

My husband continually fantasizes about my best friend. This has been the most enraging part of his addiction for me. How do I navigate this friendship while trying to heal?

My wife says I'm constantly triggering her healing. I may have mild autism and struggle with empathy. Besides therapy, what can I do to support her better?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Resources:
Determined For More
Is This Autism?
Living Stones Coaching
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
19 min
August 18114 - When Trust Can't Be Restored
Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:
Eight years into repeated disclosures and relapses, I'm separated again. Am I required as a Christian to keep pursuing reconciliation?

After 27 years of marriage shaped by pornography addiction, I don't know if sexual intimacy is emotionally safe for me anymore. Can companionship without sex be a healthy marriage?

My husband has hidden compulsive sexual behavior despite years in accountability groups, and my therapist now suspects severe personality pathology. How do I rebuild trust in myself after deception, gaslighting, trauma bonding, and spiritual abuse?
If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
18 min

About Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

From the publisher's feed

Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like…