This week Stephanie and Travis are once again joined by Author, Lorraine Avila. Lorraine was previously on WSLEO via zoom and it was absolutely crucial to have her on in person for a more intimate conversation. Lorraine was able to open up about her own romantic life while chit chatting about Love is Blind 4. Clearly we are all obsessed with the Netflix reality show. Tune in for their hot takes on Jackie & Chelsea. Is our love for Marshall causing us to hate Jackie too harshly? Is our hate for Kwame allowing us to ignore Chelsea's red flags?

Stephanie and Lorraine discuss how the rules of the patriarchy and masculinity show up within them when in queer relationships. It is critical to be aware of how we innately repeat negative cycles when gender roles are blurred.

Some men think a woman who works hard is undateable. These men have an urge to be needed by women. Has that impacted Lorraine's lifestyle? Do women have to make themselves small to be approachable? Or perhaps soften up?

The Making of Yolanda La Bruja by Lorraine Avila, is a debut contemporary coming-of-age young adult (YA) novel. When 16-year-old Yolanda Alvarez is initiated into her family's traditional religion, she has a vision that the new kid in school is planning a shooting, but convincing people is harder than she thought: he's not just the only white kid there, he's the son of a powerful business man and upcoming politician. So it's up to Yolanda to get the new kid to see the beauty in her community before he harms it.

Order your copy of The Making of Yolanda La Bruja wherever books are sold.

Travis and Stephanie had a little April fools fun, although they love Les Chat pod very much, they will all be staying in their lane. This week they discuss Jonathan Majors allegations and how our biggest mistakes do not define us. Stephanie is reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and discusses how imposter syndrome is developed throughout our entire life, not just in some corporate office. We have limiting beliefs in so much of our day to day lives. Can a shift in mindset and intentional use of language allow us to be better versions of ourselves?

On ‘Oh So Ya’ll Can Relate” a young mother and wife is torn as her husband wishes to live a polyamorous lifestyle while she wishes to be in a monogamous relationship. Can a man love two women and maintain two separate households successfully? People should avoid guilt as a tactic to convince someone of being poly. This whole conversation led Stephanie and Travis to discuss being open to dating. So slide in their DM’s.

This week Stephanie and Travis welcome back Jojo & Dayra of Les Chat Podcast. They all compare relationship norms and their ideal Sunday. These vary in queer vs. hetero relationships as well as for couples with and without kids. Yet there are also similarities.

Have you heard of endocannabinoids ? Well they are actually proof that female orgasms actually do exist. Apparently some people feel they are a myth. Science has also proven women are more fluid in their sexual attraction than men.

Would you be in a long distance relationship with some in prison? What if they were convicted of murder? Do we believe in the rehabilitation process of the criminal justice system?

- 

Les Chat Podcast: https://linktr.ee/leschat

Episode 080 was a complete derailment of the outline. Wow. They had every intention to focus on the topics, but their recent “discussions” took over. They spent a great chunk of time debating their roles in the relationship, if they should shift, and comparing their roles to “how everyone has always done it.” Travis is very flexible. But Stephanie wants him to be intentional with his child rearing, not just follow her beliefs. Is it because she needs help or is it because she doesn't  want to be the only one to blame if their children have something to say about their childhood? 

On “Oh So Y’all Can Relate” someone changes their EX’s contact name to make it seem it's just another friend. Would you allow your partner to communicate with their ex if they had a life threatening accident?  

Oh and yeah those Drake ticket prices were very humbling to the Whiteman household. Stephanie and Travis are not okay.

After celebrating 7 years of marriage last week and giving our minds and bodies rest, we are back. We jump right in discussing how we had a tense “discussion” yesterday. After 7 years of marriage we still like each other very much, but we still let each other down. We are human. Even when we have applied effective communication and have been explicit with our needs, our partners fall short. So what do we do? How do we get back to feeling connected? 

Someone once asked us, “How do we encourage our partners without sounding like their parents?”. We discuss how it's possible in our marriage and the recipe for making it work in any relationship. 

Lastly, we discuss how “therapy talk” and mental health plays a role in dating and “competitive advantages”. I LOVE bringing things back to evolutionary psych. Emotional maturity is starting to be just as, if not more important than one's financial status or physical attractiveness. 

Check out our brand new home studio on YouTube.

This week we answer various listener submitted questions such as our opinion on dating apps, long distance relationships, and alone time while in a relationship. We also talk about the appropriate amount of making out. Some think making out is childish. Some consider making out foreplay. How do you feel about making out and has your stance changed while in a relationship? Talking about intimacy is becoming less and less taboo, but where do we draw the line? How do we choose which details we keep to ourselves?

“Did You Know” women in Spain will now be granted 3-5 days of menstrual leave? Hopefully the rest of the world follows, but not everyone may agree with this accommodation. I feel there is a bigger conversation to be had surrounding flexibility at work and using personal days without an explanation.

On “Oh So Yall Can Relate” a listener tells us about her 8-9 year situationship that is now coming to an end because she's pregnant by someone else. Guess who finally is ready to commit? -Stephanie

We’re back! Despite being sick I refused to skip another week. I get on Travis for not buying “just because” flowers, but he disagrees. I also almost slept on the couch because of his snoring recently. A new study about married couples sleeping arrangements was conducted by the New York Times last month. Travis is still 100% against it, while my opinion has shifted.

“Did You Know?” men escape in the bathroom? Well did you know water is wet? Lol. While this isn't a pressing issue in our marriage, I 100% know it happens more often than we think. Our phone addictions make taking a number 2 twice as long. We let our legs go numb scrolling on the toilet.

On “Oh so Y’all Can Relate” a man wants to know if he’s in denial since he is trying to make it work with his wife who has cheated twice. I hope you can tune in. -Stephanie

What are the boundaries of healthy co-parenting? Is it appropriate to go on dates without the child? When is forcing a relationship actually bad for the child? We got inspired by a tiktok of a woman asking her baby daddy to go out to celebrate their break up anniversary. 

Has gaslighting become a buzzword? Is it overly misused? Well on this episode we discuss five different types of gaslighting. Travis gets triggered by that word. Have we gaslighted each other? 

SPOILER ALERT: We discuss HBO’s “The Last of Us” and Netflix’s “Pamela: A Love Story”. We dive into the amazing same sex couple portrayed in episode 3 of The Last of Us that had me hysterically crying. Pamela Andersons story shows us how we desperately seek to recreate the comforts of our childhood, even when it's toxic and chaotic. -Stephanie

It’s been a rough week in our parenting that is following the tough week I had with my gut health. So yeah, ya girl is tired. However, I am also so grateful. Gratitude and grace have kept me going the past couple of weeks. Travis and I have experienced extended moments of feeling disconnected this past week. Travis tried to use humor to reconnect, I was just not feeling it. Sometimes, the things we love about our partners are annoying during stressful times. 

How could we set boundaries in our romantic relationships? Specifically boundaries around when we can unload our mental stress on our partners? Is it strange to ask your partner if they have the capacity to hear us vent? 

We complete this very intimate conversation with 4 questions from “The And” Long Term Relationship Box set. Find out what Travis and I have learned about love, what keeps us going strong, what we envision our next chapter as, and what mistakes we constantly make. 

Best, Stephanie. 

How do you know when it is time to end a relationship? In hindsight, what signals were you ignoring that prolonged a doomed relationship? I reflect on how low self esteem may have contributed to my cheating ways in high school. Travis reflects on how relationships can turn into a security blanket. So you keep it even when it's obviously time to get rid of it. The reasons to end a romantic relationship apply to ending platonic friendships and cutting family off as well. Boundaries should be honored by everyone in your life. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Violence. On ‘Oh So Y’all Can Relate’ we read an unfortunate story about a woman who feels helpless. Her brother is an abuser and she even witnessed him slap his partner. What do we do as friends or family members of people in abusive relationships? How do we support them or hold them accountable? We may be unintentionally enabling abusers by turning a blind eye to it. What boundaries should you set for yourself? -Stephanie