Have you known people who have been in an abusive relationship with another human being? Ever wonder the reasons they stay in relationships where their self-esteem is damaged (by another person and by themselves)? You probably can’t imagine remaining in a relationship in which your physical, social and emotional health are constantly being threatened and eroded. And yet, so many people remain in unhealthy relationships with food in which their self-esteem is battered, and their physical, social and emotional health are threatened and eroded. What are the reasons? Imagine, (if you are in an unhealthy relationship of any sort), that you are holding on tightly to one end of the rope in that unhealthy relationship. You have the option to let go at any time. YOU CAN LET GO! What keeps people from doing so? Listen and ponder…

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We all have a personal and unique relationship with food. Research, as presented by the National Eating Disorder Association, suggests that up to 50 percent of Americans have a “disordered” relationship with exercise, their body and with food. While that does NOT mean that half of all Americans have what we typically think of as a clinical “eating disorder,” such as anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder, it does indicate that a lot of us have what I would call “a less than positive relationship” with food, with exercise and with our bodies. THAT should come as no surprise! What about you and YOUR relationship with food? In this episode, we’ll explore what having a relationship with food is about, how your personal relationship with food developed, and what that relationship might suggest for improving that relationship. Of course, as you’ve heard me say many times, as our relationship with food improves, so does our relationship with ourself and our relationships with others. When you make improvements in any of those relationship categories, the others will naturally improve! I have a suggestion at the end of this episode that will shed some very interesting light on your unique relationship with food! Listen and find out what that is! 

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People sometimes make promises they are not prepared or keep! This applies to brides and bridegrooms, as well as to those preparing to have weight loss surgery. If you promise to run a 5K next week but do not prepare, chances are good you will not complete the race! No matter where you are in the process of bariatric surgery… waiting to have it, had it within the last year or are several years past surgery, there are some objective things that indicate how well you will succeed in meeting and sustaining your goals of living at a healthy weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle! Learn what they are and hear how it’s never too late to include these proven techniques that increase your odds of a happy outcome!

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I am SO excited to share this very first FAMILY and FRIENDS talk by Dana Mitchell Rosser, author of the book Thru Thick & Thin! Dana shared the microphone with her amazing husband and post-op, Dr. Butch Rosser to share part of their story that led to Dana writing her book. Enjoy this tremendous talk and look forward each month to a special episode hosted by Dana as she speaks openly about what the bariatric process is like for the friends, family members and support people as they journey with their loved ones who are dealing with the disease of obesity. As you know, the disease of obesity affects not just the person dealing with the disease of obesity, but also affects their loved ones who have many emotions about the situation. The Family and Friends episode of BariAftercare is a critical message that can help everyone dealing directly or indirectly with the disease of obesity. Take a listen! 

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We are all too familiar with unhealthy coping skills in our own lives and the lives of those we love: overeating, too much alcohol, too many drugs, way too much time escaping life through binge-watching or social media, and lashing out at others, especially those we love and don’t want to hurt. In order to feel better about our lives and ourselves, and to remain in line with what we really want – to create and live a healthy lifestyle – we need to replace our unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy coping mechanisms. Most of us are tremendously stressed in life with the added stress of the COVID pandemic and recent political chaos. Unhealthy foods and overeating are go-to’s for a lot of people when it comes to finding ways to “feel better” in the short-term, even if it means setting ourselves up for more stress in the long term. In this podcast, you will learn a set of skills to help you in the short term and will extend to your long-term goals of living a healthy lifestyle – not only with food, but in all areas of your life! Here are some links to help you in your journey to your healthiest, best life!

• 100 Coping Strategies for Anger, Anxiety, and More
• Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Strategies
• 99 Healthy Coping Skills
• Emotional Eating Form
• Emotional Eating Awareness

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People needs SKILLS in order to develop and maintain the healthy lifestyle that allows them to maintain a healthy weight for their body following bariatric surgery. These skills help you when your motivation is low, when temptation is high, or when you want to give in to something that would make you feel better in the present – knowing that what you REALLY want is a healthy life in the longrun.  The Essentials in the skill kit are maybe not what you thought. They are not concrete like “tools” (i.e., hammer, screwdriver) you would put in a toolbox. They are more general and are related to the emotional and psychological realm as opposed to the concrete behaviors we’ve spoken about the past few weeks: the Gotta Do ‘Ems. The Essential Skills we discuss today include Your Meaningful Matters, the 4 ACES (Awareness, Acceptance, Attitude, Accountability, Commitment, Effort and Self), and Feelings! Listen and learn why these, along with the Gotta Do ‘Ems and a whole lot of healthy coping skills (which we will talk about soon) will help you stay on track with your healthy lifestyle and prevent weight regain.

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This is a bonus episode! I usually only use the first “live” talk of the week from the BariAftercare program as a podcast and save the second talk for the members of the BariAftercare program. I liked this talk as a follow-up to Tell Me What You Want… What You REALLY, REALLY want, that I had to share! Maybe it was all that talk about the movie While You Were Sleeping that inspired me! In this episode I talk about keeping your mind focused on that healthy lifestyle and away from thoughts and fears of regain. We move in the direction of the things we think about most! I provide several practical tools to add to your skill set… tools I learned over 30 years ago and use on a regular basis myself. I even sat my 8-year-old grandson down and taught him a few of these skills this week as he was struggling with some “perfectionism” tendencies. Learn what a Meaningful Matter is and how this can help you stay true to what you REALLY, REALLY want and use a single question to help you each and every day to opt for the healthy choices! Healthy choices = healthy outcomes. 

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In today’s episode, I bring together the information from the first three podcasts to highlight the importance of using goals and creating a healthy lifestyle can help you avoid regain or lose any regain you may have experienced! Using an analogy from the fun movie While You Were Sleeping, starring Sandra Bullock, you may discover that what you thought would lead you to your happily ever after may actually lead you to an even more happily ever after! IF what you REALLY, REALLY want is to maintain a healthy weight for your body and live a great quality of life after having bariatric surgery, you have to become willing to give up things in the present moment that would bring you pleasure for the long-term joy that comes from living a truly healthy lifestyle. Enter Meaningful Matters… identifying what is more meaningful to you and what matters most to you. Make your ever day in-the-moment choices based on those Meaningful Matters, not on what would bring you momentary pleasure in the moment. Staying focused on what you REALLY, REALLY want, will result in your being happier than ever for the rest of your life! 

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Today we discussed the fact that losing weight is not the primary goal associated with having bariatric surgery. To be sure, losing weight is one of the goals you want to achieve as a result of having weight loss surgery. Maintaining a healthy weight for your body over the long haul is perhaps a more useful goal for those having bariatric surgery. Many people have lost weight in the past, perhaps several times! Therefore, keeping your weight at a healthy place for your unique body is a longer-term goal, one that doesn’t “end” when you’ve lost weight. In order to maintain a healthy weight, you need to have a healthy LIFESTYLE! A healthy lifestyle is a way of living day in a day out. Therefore, in order to maintain the weight loss following bariatric surgery, you need to learn how to establish, a maintain a healthy way of life…. A healthy lifestyle. Which, of course, includes using SMART goals! The information in the Podcasts is all connected…

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In this episode we discuss the difference between resolutions and goals. You may want to determine some “resolutions” for yourself, but you will definitely want to set and follow through with some goals! (At least if you want to accomplish what you SAY you want to in relation to your weight loss journey!) Learning to set SMART goals can make realizing your dreams that much easier. Together we will set a SMART goal and you can practice creating others so you can live that happier, healthier life you are seeking!

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