The Self-Driven Child

What Are They Thinking?: The Neuroscience of Nagging in Parents and Teens


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If you've ever caught yourself reminding your kid—again and again—to get that homework done, check in with the coach, or finally read that book, this episode is for you. I dive deep into the psychology and brain science behind why we nag, how it impacts both our stress levels and our kids’ behavior, and what we can do instead to be more effective, compassionate, and calm.

I share a personal story from my own household (yes, I'm guilty too!) and explore what’s really going on in the minds of both the "nagger" and the "nag-ee." You’ll also hear a powerful example of how one family made a simple shift in communication—and had their best night in years. If you want to support your child in a way that actually works—and feels better for everyone—don’t miss this one.

 

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] - Introducing the workbook: The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child
[1:10] - My own struggle with nagging during my son’s senior year
[3:00] - Why we nag: the emotional drive behind our reminders
[4:35] - The illusion of control and the stress of unfinished tasks
[6:25] - Brain science: what happens in the mind of the nagger
[8:15] - What nagging does to kids’ brains—MRI findings from a key study
[9:55] - A story of a family overwhelmed by homework stress
[11:10] - A simple 3-step plan for changing the dynamic
[12:55] - The power of phrasing: how supportive language changes everything
[14:20] - Shifting from nagging to nurturing—and why it works
[15:41] - About PrepMatters and how we support students without added pressure 

 

Links & Resources:

If this episode has helped you, remember to rate, follow, and share the Self-Driven Child Podcast. Your support helps us reach more people and create more content that makes a difference.

If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com

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The Self-Driven ChildBy Ned Johnson

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