You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

When Caring Becomes Self-Abandonment: How Cycle Breakers Get Stuck in the Caretaker Role


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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell shares the truth about how that same caretaking instinct keeps so many cycle breakers stuck. Torie opens up about her own experience navigating guilt, fear, and the pressure to protect the people in her family who hurt her—especially as she shares her own story publicly.

This conversation explores:

  • How caretaking becomes a form of self-abandonment
  • Why guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re breaking a pattern
  • What it actually looks like to stop managing everyone else’s emotions
  • How to release responsibility for other people’s discomfort without losing your empathy
  • If you’ve ever felt torn between taking care of yourself and protecting your family’s feelings, this episode will help you understand why that tension exists—and how to start choosing yourself without shame.

    Torie’s reminder for this week:

    “ It is not our job to comfort people we care about when they are uncomfortable with us taking care of ourselves.”

    • Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week.
    • Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

      And if you need more support with your own toxic parent, check out Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents, Torie’s self-guided course that walks you step-by-step through setting boundaries, navigating guilt, and creating realistic strategies for dealing with toxic family dynamics.

      When you enroll this week, you’ll also get her Holiday Survival Guide for free: a practical, trauma-informed roadmap for navigating the season with clarity and confidence.

      Get immediate access at ConfidentBoundaries.com/course


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      You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic ParentsBy Torie Wiksell

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