“I think a lot of times part of the reason we’re able to self-sabotage so easily is we really don’t own our goals. We don’t really own that picture of what we want our life to look like. We kind of keep it vague. As a result, we can’t really create that process to make changes because we don’t give ourselves any sort of timeline or specific picture of what we’re working towards.”

This week’s episode of Women In-Depth we speak with Nicole Liloia, Business Coach and Strategist enlightening us on the career, business and life burnout so many women deal with on a constant basis. We have unknowingly become experts at sabotaging ourselves; whether in our careers, or personal lives. We will discuss several ways we sabotage, how to notice it and what to do in response to create a richer and more fulfilled life.

Nicole Liloia earned her Master’s in Social Work at Columbia University before beginning a career in the non-profit sector. Nicole is both a life coach and a trained therapist. Now her passions are helping women entrepreneurs make more money and achieve their goals.

Nicole began this path after a volunteer trip to Venezuela after suffering from burnout in her 9-5. Upon coming home Nicole began working at various part-time jobs and ended up starting her own practice only to fall back into the rigid 9-5 lifestyle she was trying to escape. She realized her own self-sabotage with this repetition and decided that she wanted to help other women entrepreneurs stop wasting time and start making more money.

When Nicole is not busy helping her clients end their self-sabotaging ways she enjoys entrepreneurship, making women wealthier, Apothic Wines, and a good Taco Tuesday!

To keep up with Nicole Liloia:

https://nicoleliloia.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleliloia/ https://twitter.com/nicoleliloia

References Mentioned:

Assess Align Action: The Boss Guide to Goal Getting by Nicole Liloia

“We all are so different and it’s normal to be different.  It’s just a matter of finding the ways that help you optimize your sexual desire and have a sexual relationship that you want to have.”

Many women experience diminished or decreased sex drive at one point or another in their lives.  However sex-negativity from our backgrounds, media, and society, can make these challenges difficult to discuss.

With over half the population experiencing some version of sexual dissatisfaction, we can acknowledge that frank discussions surrounding sex and intimacy have the potential to drastically improve our overall well-being.

Dr. Nazanin Moali has a Bachelor’s degree from the University of California, San Diego in biology and psychology, a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.

She specializes in working with couples and individuals struggling with issues of sex and intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast called Sexology in which she introduces listeners to the most intriguing findings in the psychology of sex.  She practices out of Torrance, California.

To find more information about Dr. Moali, you may  visit:

https://oasis2care.com/

https://twitter.com/oasis2care

https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care/

http://www.sexologypodcast.com/

[email protected]

Other Resources:

https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire - Dr. Lori Brotto

In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Moali discuss:

• Why one might seek a sex therapist
• Mindfulness and its influence on our sex lives
• Brakes and Accelerators: the dual control model of sexuality
• Self-image in sex

“We become women of all seasons.”

Our culture often associates negativity with aging. We dread what may come with age, despite mounting evidence that our worse fears are less likely than we think. Dr. Susan Stewart began examining this contradiction after encountering some rather heartening messages in myths, folktales, psychology, and gerontology that just encourage us to embrace and even look forward to the winter of our lives. Join Dr. Viado this week as she and Dr. Stewart discuss negative cultural messaging; the different dimensions of aging; and our lives in review.

Dr. Susan Stewart has been a Professor of Psychology for over thirty years (now emerita) at Sonoma State University, and is a retired therapist and a grandmother to four. She earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology at the age 26 and was a Marriage and Family Therapist for many years.

Her exploration of aging began in 2000 as she immersed herself into the myths and folktales after a series of encounters with the word crone. In place of the wicked and ugly portrayals she expected to find, she discovered some very inspiring old women. 

She was compelled to share her discoveries after finding that gerontologists, psychologists, neuroscientists, and others were describing similar discoveries in late life development. She began to spread the word about the under-appreciated gifts of age in her classes, papers, presentations, and workshops. On the eve of turning 70, she completed Winter’s Graces: The Surprising Gifts of Later Life in which she weaves together folktales, themes from the world’s wisdom and spiritual traditions, current findings in gerontology and other fields, stories of her own and those of other older women, and characters of film - all of which reflect late-life qualities like contentment, agelessness, simplicity, and fierceness.

When she’s not enjoying the company of her four grandchildren, singing, dancing or playing her cello, Susan continues to make presentations and offer workshops on the gifts of late life. She is most passionate about sharing the gifts of late life in a culture that mistakenly equates old age with debilitating decline. She has found that stories, along with recent research; visual images of elders; and the opportunity for participants to reflect on and share their own attitudes and experiences of aging, are a potent mixture.

To find more information about Dr. Stewart:

https://wintersgraces.com/

https://wintersgraces.com/blog/

https://www.facebook.com/susanaverystewart/

In This Episode, Dr. Viado and Dr. Susan Stewart Discuss:

• The True Story of the Crone
• The Winter of Life
• The Role of Elders in American Culture
• Changes in the Perception of Chronological Age

“To move toward that more wild feminine nature within the culture, and within our own psyches, and within the world...that wild feminine, it is so paradoxical and so confusing and it doesn’t want to be pursuing clarity and definition, it represents the opposite of that. It’s not an easy movement toward anything that represents that more lunar or feminine consciousness because it does mean a movement toward the uncertain and the unknown. It takes courage, a lot of courage.”

For the 100th episode of Women In Depth, we’ve returned to our roots in a discussion with Dr. Stacey Shelby about the wild woman archetype and her bewildering and beautiful manifestation in our lives.

Dr. Stacey Shelby is an author, speaker, educator and depth psychotherapist. She holds a Masters and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialization in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. She teaches the psychology of romantic love at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California. Dr. Shelby works with adults in various stages of personal transformation online and in person out of a thriving clinical practice in Squamish, British Columbia. She specializes in the symbolic language of the soul and aims to honor the soul as it presents itself in the lived experience of daily life.

To Keep up with Dr. Shelby:

http://drstaceyshelby.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DrStaceyShelby

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-stacey-shelby-ph-d-rcc-8b249560/

https://twitter.com/stacey0shelby

In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Shelby discuss:

• The manifestation of the Wild Woman archetype
• Recovering what feels lost
• Navigating confusing changes in relationships and sexuality
• Marrying opposite archetypes within our psyche in pursuit of balance

"Of course we want pain to end, absolutely, but paradoxically, the fastest way to get through this is to get through it, is to be in it, to be with it...What we want to do is imagine that pain has a positive purpose, that there’s a reason that pain has shown up. It’s trying to show us something and in a sense, really, it’s a signal and it’s a messenger whether it’s emotional or physical, but it’s part of us trying to ask for help, it’s part of us - in this sense, it’s the feeling of us trying to heal something. It’s that part of us that says 'I need help, I’m out of whack here, I’m out of balance, you need to pay attention to me.'"

11.2% of American adults experience some form of pain, often at severe levels every day and have for the previous three months. A 2006 survey from the American Pain Foundation found that the vast majority of pain sufferers feel they have no control over their pain, that it severely impacts their quality of life, while 77% of the participants surveyed reported feeling depressed. Chronic pain can cause both mental health struggles, trouble in interpersonal relationships and feelings of powerlessness or and loss of identity.

When Sarah Anne Shockley was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, her entire life changed. Due to acute, chronic pain, she found herself fighting and enduring every day for years. What began as a battle became a journey of understanding and redefining pain for in the hopes of healing and ultimately living a fuller life. Sarah is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom For Living With and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain. She has been a columnist for Pain News Network and is a regular contributor to The Mighty. Sarah is a multiple award-winning producer and director of educational films, including Dancing From The Inside Out. She has also worked in high-tech management, as a corporate trainer, and teaching undergraduate and graduate business administration. She currently resides in the San Francisco Bay Area.

In This Podcast, Dr. Viado and Sarah Shockley Discuss:

• Sarah’s experience with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
• Experiencing pain in a pain avoidant society
• Changing our mindset to sit beside pain
• Viewing pain like a wounded animal
• How to support a loved one in pain

Links

https://www.thepaincompanion.com/

https://www.facebook.com/thepaincompanion

https://twitter.com/thpaincompanion

https://linkedin.com/in/sarahshockley

Book

http://a.co/0FrMWKp

“It’s really about approaching ourselves with love and compassion and approaching the stuff with love and compassion. It’s not the enemy. There’s nothing wrong with the stuff, it’s just getting real with ourselves and going ‘Do I want to keep carrying this? Is it time?’”

In a culture that simultaneously prioritizes materialism and organization, our accumulated belongings can become unmanageable.

As she confronted stagnant energy in the form of her own clutter, Michael Spencer unearthed a new, soulful approach to the flourishing minimalism movement. Using her background as a mental health counselor, Michael developed and founded Let’s Purify, an online service dedicated to purifying our living spaces, personal energy, and the planet. Let’s Purify helps people release attachment to accumulated belongings and experience greater freedom.

In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Michael Spencer discuss:

• The five components of home energy purification
• The difference between “purging” and energy purification
• Confronting sentimental objects and objects we feel we should be sentimental about
• Getting honest with ourselves about attachments to our objects

Links:

https://letspurify.energy/ https://www.facebook.com/letspurify/ https://www.instagram.com/letspurify/

“I have a body but I am also more than my body and you know, there’s this whole other rich world inside of me called the soul.”

Jodie Gale’s work surrounding bodies and food began long before her training as a soul-centered psychotherapist, counselor and eating disorder therapist. Jodie’s path stems from her own recovery from bulimia, addiction and childhood interpersonal trauma.

These days, Jodie works with women seeking to recover from body image problems, yo-yo dieting, chronic dieting and eating disorders from a soulful and holistic perspective. Jodie holds a BA of Social Work from University of Sydney, an MA in Psychotherapy from Middlesex University, and an Eating Disorder Coach Certification from the Carolyn Costin Insitute. Jodie practices counseling, psychotherapy, clinical supervision and private practice business coaching out of the Northern Beaches of Sydney, Australia and offers sessions via Skype.

This week Jodie and Dr. Viado resume their conversation about disordered eating and recovery specifically through the lens of internal and external weight discrimination. To find more information about Jodie and her work, please see:

https://jodiegale.com/ https://jodiegale.com/soul-sessions/

To find Jodie’s previous episode: https://lourdesviado.com/09-disordered-eating-a-search-for-wholeness-with-jodie-gale/

“We have, at best, sort of this view of technology as a benign thing in our lives. And at best, this kind of projection on technology, that it’s really what makes or breaks modern life...Most people are floored once they really do the tally and become more aware of how incredibly engaged they are and how incredibly time-consuming their personal electronics are in their lives.”

As unique obstacles of modern times go, negotiating personal device use tops the list. The challenge becomes even more difficult as our children progress from early childhood into pre-teen and teen years and the issues of social media, video games and screen time escalate.

Dr. Anders Beier is the co-founder and COO of the London-based non-profit The Centre for Technology Awareness. He also holds an MA in counseling from Pacifica Graduate Institute, Santa Barbara, CA and a Ph.D. in Jungian Studies from Saybrook University in San Francisco. He works with couples and individuals on treating depression, anxiety and life changes near Aspen, Colorado. This week Dr. Viado and Dr. Beier resume their discussion about technology, focusing specifically on navigating the complications of parenting in the information age; brain chemistry changes with technology use; and developing boundaries with personal devices for our kids and ourselves.

To listen to Dr. Beier’s last conversation with Dr. Viado please see Episode 28: The Shadow of Technology: https://lourdesviado.com/28-the-shadow-of-technology-with-dr-anders-beier-lpc/

To keep up with Dr. Anders Beier, please visit: http://beiertherapy.com http://technologyawareness.org

Other Resources: CDC’s Differences by Sex in Association of Mental Health With Video Gaming or Other Nonacademic Computer Use Among US Adolescents: https://www.cdc.gov/pcd/issues/2017/17_0151.htm Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain - Daniel Seigel: https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/brainstorm/ iDisorder Understanding Our Obsession with Technology and Overcoming Its Hold on Us - Dr. Larry Rosen: http://drlarryrosen.com/2011/03/idisorder

“I don’t know that we’re in a culture that supports a woman taking care of herself first, it’s really something that needs to be taught and I think probably the biggest thing that needs to be taught is self love and self compassion. I think we know how to be compassionate toward other people but I don’t think we know how to use compassion on ourselves, how to be kind to ourselves.” Dr. Deb Butler is a board certified chiropractor and acupuncturist, a certified nutritionist and master life and weight loss coach who helps women from all walks of life going through menopause end their struggle with weight. Dr. Deb Butler utilizes a blend of brain science, nutrition, physiology, life coaching and life lessons to help clients embrace real weight loss starting from the inside. When her lifelong struggle with her weight collided with the arrival of menopause, Dr. Deb realized how misguided her perception of both had been all along. Through research, courses and plenty of exploration, she has constructed a program to reframe how one views weight, balance and oneself. Join us this week as Dr. Deb shares how you can improve your weight and your life for good! You can learn more about Dr. Deb Butler at:

https://drdebbutler.com/

https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/thinner-peace-in-menopause/id1097852666

https://www.facebook.com/drdebbutler/

“We have to be much more allowing of ourselves, allowing ourselves to try things out and make mistakes and that’s so crucial - Can we allow ourselves to make mistakes? And maybe use the mistakes to take us on a different journey?” Emma Cameron could reasonably be describing talk therapy or the practice of our creative energy but she is actually talking about both. How do we recover our creativity? How does the disconnection happen in the first place? How can we benefit from the practice of creativity in therapy and our lives? Join us this week as Emma discusses the role of creativity and creation in our journey toward self discovery. Emma Cameron is a registered Integrative Arts Psychotherapist based in Essex, England. She works in private practice and online with women who want to connect to their deepest creative self and heal from anxiety and trauma. Emma has a Masters degree in Integrative Art Psychotherapy and she is a HCPC registered Art Psychotherapist. Emma paints, draws and has been practicing art for many years. Through 2017 Emma’s work was featured in ‘Contemporary Masters from Britain’, an exhibition touring major art galleries in China; next year she will be exhibiting paintings in Poland and the UK. Learn more about Emma and her work at:

www.emmacameron.com

https://twitter.com/EmmaCameronArts

https://www.facebook.com/emmacameronarts/