You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married:

Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams

In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his long-time friend and fellow therapist, Brett Williams, author of You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married. With over 35 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist, Brett dives into the complexities of couple communication and conflict resolution.

He introduces the “Four C’s” of communication—Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, and Combating—and explains how couples can move away from destructive patterns of blame and escalation.  

Brett emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for confession—vulnerably sharing emotions without defensiveness—and highlights that love is the free gift of attention. Together, Dr. Skinner and Brett offer actionable strategies for effective communication, understanding your partner’s needs, and building love-based solutions for deeper intimacy and connection.  

The episode concludes with an exciting announcement about the first annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14th and 15th, 2025), where Brett will explore whether loving again after betrayal is possible and provide tools for trust and communication

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams

Resources Mentioned:  

1. Brett Williams’ Book:  

   - You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Love-Based Solutions for Couples.  

2. Concepts and Techniques:  

   - The Four C’s of Communication (Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, Combating).  

   - The Attention Reception Test (visual, auditory, kinesthetic preferences).  

   - Love-Based Solutions for rebuilding connection and trust.  

   - Physiological regulation during conflict (monitor heart rate and nervous system).  

3. Related Research and Experts:  

   - Dr. John Gottman: Impact of escalated heart rates on communication.  

   - Dr. Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Theory and regulating the nervous system.  

   - Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages.  

4. Event Mentioned:  

   - First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025).  

     - Featuring Brett Williams and 15 other clinicians specializing in overcoming betrayal trauma, addictive behaviors, and rebuilding relationships. More information to come!