November 30, 2025

You Cheated. You’re Not a Monster. Here’s How to Understand Yourself and Become the Man You Meant to Be.

54 minutes

You’re not a monster because you cheated— you are a hurting human who never learned how to feel, name, and heal what’s going on inside. And understanding that and forgiving yourself is the key to rebuilding trust, whether you stay together or not.

This episode is a love letter—and a challenge—to the betrayer. Whether you’re the one who cheated or you’re the partner trying to understand how the person you love could hurt you so deeply, this conversation pulls back the curtain on what’s really going on inside the betraying partner. Lora shares honest, vulnerable insights from walking beside her husband through his infidelity, exploring why most men genuinely don’t know why they cheated, how shame and unresolved boyhood wounds fuel destructive coping, and what it actually takes to become trustworthy again. You’ll learn how to move from “I’m a monster” to “I made a devastating mistake—and I’m willing to change,” so both of you can stop walking on eggshells and start moving toward clarity, accountability, and healing.

Top 3 Takeaways

Why “I don’t know why I did it” is often true—just not the whole truth.

Most betrayers genuinely don’t know the root cause of their cheating because they were never taught to identify or communicate their emotions. Until they can name what they’re feeling—rejection, shame, emasculation, grief—cheating will continue to be a maladaptive coping mechanism, not a “character flaw problem” to shame away.

Your actions don’t define your core—but your accountability does.

There’s a profound difference between being a cheater and having cheated. Lora breaks down how to step out of the “cheater” identity and back into integrity through nervous system regulation, consistent follow-through (“do what you say you’ll do”), and small, repeated acts of honor that show you’re becoming truly trustworthy again.

Healing requires feeling it all—without fleeing, fixing, or deflecting.

From the sticky note that said “Feel it all” to simple somatic practices like standing in your integrity, brushing off old attachments, and speaking from your gut instead of your head, you’ll learn concrete ways to sit with your own shame, regret, and pain and hold space for your partner’s rage and grief—without collapsing, defending, or running away.

👉 Book Your Private Session for Men, women, or couples HERE: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/men-s-session

If this episode spoke to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs hope on their healing journey. Your voice helps other women (and men) find the support they deserve.

Favorite Quotes

“This isn’t about getting your wife to trust you again. It’s about becoming a man who is truly trustworthy—and honoring yourself enough to live that way.”

“You’re not a monster—you’re a human in pain who chose a harmful coping mechanism. Now the question is: who do you want to be from here?”

Free FLAUNT! Holiday Reset & Book Club

If this episode hit home, your next step is simple:

Join Lora on December 1st for a free live FLAUNT! Book Club & Workshop — a Holiday Reset designed to move you from performance to presence in real time.

You’ll:

Work with practices from FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self

Get tools to break your performance scripts and over-functioning habits

Have space to decompress after Thanksgiving and prepare for the rest of the season in a different way

Practice embodying presence so you can actually feel the joy you’re creating

👉 Sign up free: TheFlauntBook.com

You don’t need to be “caught up” or have read the whole book. Just bring yourself, your copy, and a willingness to show up as you are.

🔗 Resources & Links

🌟 Free FLAUNT! Book Club + Workshop (Dec 1): TheFlauntBook.com

📘 FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self – available wherever books are sold

🧩 Free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit: BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com

🌐 Learn more about Lora’s coaching & programs: LoraCheadle.com

LOVE THE SHOW? TAKE THE NEXT STEP

Don’t just listen—start healing.

Download your FREE Betrayal Recovery Tool Kit and take back your power with clarity, confidence, and support that meets you where you are.

✅ Calm the chaos

✅ Rebuild self-trust

✅ Stop the spiral of second-guessing

✅ Reclaim your worth and your future

👉 Download Now ➜ www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com (MAKE THIS A BUTTON)

You deserve more than survival. You deserve sovereignty, peace, and joy.

📚 Books By Lora 📚

International Book Award, Finalist Motivational Self-Help 2021

• Tattered Cover Bestseller 2019

Are you tired of living a life dictated by others? If you've felt trapped by expectations and long o be free, FLAUNT! is the key to unlocking who you are, expressing yourself authentically, and choreographing your life your way.

Reclaim yourself with this transformative guide that empowers you to strip away societal expectations and reveal your smart, sexy, and spiritual self.

Through a unique blend of humor, wisdom, and actionable steps, you can uncover your deepest desires and build the confidence to live a life full of passion and purpose.

Buy Now on Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive, is the essential guide for burnout and betrayal relief. Packed with insight and practical tools, this book is a must-have for individuals, teams, and leaders alike.

Available on Amazon.

Learn more at www.itsnotburnoutitsbetrayal.com

...more

View all episodes

By Lora Cheadle

4.8

6262 ratings