Can an emotionally abusive person change? Paul Colliani joins me to explore the patterns of manipulative behavior, why some people refuse to take accountability, and how anxious attachment and emotional immaturity play into abusive dynamics. 

We also discuss the false hope that keeps many survivors stuck, the importance of recognizing real change versus empty promises, and the hard truth that healing often means letting go.

You can find Paul here: loveandabuse.com

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really means and why it can feel so hard to leave a toxic relationship. 

Instead of being about sharing past trauma, trauma bonding happens because of a crazy cycle of ups and downs—brief moments of love and kindness that keep you holding on even when you're being hurt. 

In this episode, I discuss how these roller coaster relationships work and why promises to change often end up being tricks to keep you stuck. I also share simple tips on how to spot these harmful patterns, set clear boundaries, and take back control of your life. 

If you’ve ever felt trapped in a relationship that just isn’t right, this episode offers straightforward advice and real steps to start healing.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Traditional breakup rules fall short when you're dealing with a partner whose only goal is to control the narrative—and why the breakup never feels like an ending at all. In this episode, I will discuss:

• Unpacks the Cycle: Discover how manipulative behaviors like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and isolation keep you stuck, even when you know you deserve better.
• Sets New Boundaries: Learn actionable steps to reclaim your power by enforcing non-negotiable boundaries and embracing a no-contact approach for your emotional safety.
• Reclaims Your Narrative: Understand why empty promises don't align with ongoing patterns of manipulation, and how you can validate your own experience to begin the healing process.

Whether you're questioning your reality, struggling with mixed signals, or simply need reassurance that you're not alone, this episode offers the validation, insights, and strategies you need to move forward.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

"Why am I stuck?" In this episode, I unpack the layers of trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, gaslighting, and self-blame that keep survivors tethered to their abusers long after the relationship ends.

I share insights from my own healing journey, including the emotional grip of intermittent reinforcement and the manipulation of vulnerability. 

If you've ever found yourself struggling to reconcile conflicting emotions or doubting your experiences, this episode is for you.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

How can a fear of abandonment lead to pushing people away? In this episode, I explore the complexities of anxious attachment, traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and how self-awareness can pave the way for healthier relationships.

I delve into the inner conflict often experienced by individuals with BPD—a push-pull dynamic where fear of abandonment clashes with fear of engulfment. This tension frequently results in self-sabotaging behaviors that disrupt connection and trust in relationships.

Drawing from my own journey of healing anxious attachment through exposure therapy, coaching, and resources like Attached, I reflect on a past relationship where my partner’s hypersensitivity, constant need for reassurance, and deeply rooted fears created an exhausting cycle of chaos.

You can follow me on Substack here: https://jessicaknightcoaching.substack.com/

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This episode dives into the misunderstood and rarely discussed topic of sexual coercion in relationships. I discuss recognizing coercive patterns and how emotional manipulation can slowly erode personal boundaries, leaving you feeling trapped, guilty, and ashamed.

I also read heartbreaking comments from women who shared their own stories of being pressured, guilted, and manipulated into sex—especially during moments of vulnerability, illness, and exhaustion.

If you've ever felt like your "no" was ignored, negotiated, or turned into a reason for blame, this episode will help you put words to that experience and remind you: Your boundaries are valid. Your body is yours. And you're not crazy.

You can follow me on Substack here: https://jessicaknightcoaching.substack.com/

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Divorce coaching can transform your experience when navigating high-conflict separations, especially with a narcissistic or difficult ex. Learn why proactive coaching is more effective than crisis-mode reactions, how to build resilience during calm periods, and the practical strategies that can save you emotional and financial strain.

In this episode, I share real-life success stories, highlights the role of divorce coaching alongside legal and therapeutic support, and discusses how it prioritizes the well-being of your children while minimizing conflict. Whether you're facing custody battles or seeking to co-parent effectively, this episode offers insights and actionable advice to help you thrive through the process.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

New Year’s resolutions often come with societal pressure to transform, but if you’re recovering from emotional abuse, they can feel overwhelming and triggering. In this episode, I share why it’s okay to step away from the noise and focus on what you truly need to move forward.

In this episode:

• Why “New Year, New You” narratives can feel impossible when healing from abuse.
• The power of personal promises to yourself instead of rigid resolutions.
• Practical strategies for creating calm and nurturing self-trust amidst chaos.

If the New Year feels like more pressure than possibility, you’re not alone. This episode offers insights to help you reclaim your sense of self and create space for meaningful healing—on your own terms.

For additional resources and support, visit EmotionalAbuseCoach.com.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Holidays can be a minefield of emotions, especially when past traumas resurface. In this episode, I delve into the complexities of holiday triggers and how they amplify everything.  We explore understanding why holidays can trigger past trauma and ways to manage it, strategies for grounding yourself in the present moment amidst emotional upheaval, the importance of setting new traditions that prioritize your well-being.

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Navigating co-parenting challenges with a high-conflict ex can feel overwhelming—especially during the holiday season. In this episode, I share practical strategies to manage last-minute schedule changes, manipulative behavior, and the emotional toll these dynamics can take. Learn how to stick to your court order, document effectively, and create new traditions that bring joy to you and your kids, even in the midst of chaos. 

Support the show

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner