Cathy and Todd talk about anxiety and why it’s a completely normal part of life. They explain how anxiety isn’t just a response to stress but a built-in part of our survival system. Using the movie Inside Out 2, they show how anxiety, like the other emotions in the film, helps us navigate uncertainty and stay safe. They also offer practical tips for managing anxiety and discuss how accepting and understanding it can lead to greater adaptability and resilience.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

Resources

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Male Menopause: The Three Obstacles Midlife Men Face and How to Overcome Them

Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.

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Time Stamps

(00:10:52) Acknowledging Anxiety- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack

(00:13:30) Body intelligence & anxiety **

(00:20:09) The second arrow

(00:27:27) Join Team Zen

(00:28:22) Ways to help our kids regulate

(00:49:09) Anxiety can be a messenger

(00:59:03) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Cathy and Todd discuss life trajectories, emphasizing that success isn’t confined to a single right path, way, class, major, or job. They highlight the importance of children trusting their instincts and their own knowledge as they go through life. They also explore how resilience and adaptability are developed through every setback, and how we can help our children feel supported and trusted as they navigate their experiences.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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It’s OK | Hyundai

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Time Stamps

(00:05:44) Life trajectories

(00:13:25) You will see how the pieces fit together

(00:16:30) Hyundai commercial

(00:19:48) Good challenge vs bad challenge **

(00:21:02) Whiplash **

(00:26:09) Join Team Zen

(00:26:30) Take care of your own business

(00:30:05) What ZPR is all about **

(00:35:40) Make home safe

(00:37:50) Life trajectories part 2

(00:52:37) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Cathy and Todd discuss cognitive labor, which is the mental effort and worry of anticipating needs, considering options, making decisions, and tracking progress in the home and with kids. They explore how it’s connected to emotional and invisible labor and stress the importance of ongoing discussions to reduce resentment and ensure everyone feels seen and understood.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:10:48) What can I do to help?

(00:21:03) Being responsible for other people’s happiness

(00:26:30) Join Team Zen

(00:31:29) The lies told to boys and men **

(00:32:24) Why Todd doesn’t do it **

(00:53:39) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Todd and Cathy emphasize the importance of being present, thinking critically, and doing in parenting, and discussed the concept of human archetypes and the need to focus on the present moment. They also shared personal anecdotes about balancing ‘being’, ‘doing’, and ‘thinking’, and discussed the challenges of societal expectations and the importance of living authentically. Lastly, they addressed underlying issues in relationships, the importance of taking action, and the need to process emotions healthily.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:00:28) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Being, thinking, and doing

(00:06:22) Todd’s “Be, Think, Do Balance”

(00:14:58) Todd’s “Be’er” shows up

(00:27:22) Cathy’s “Be, Think, Do Balance”

(00:57:32) The spiritual bypass **

(00:59:41) Comparing pain

(01:00:55) We are a hedonistic society that believes we should be suffering.

(01:02:04) Join Team Zen

(01:02:35) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Cathy & Todd discuss why our kids feel pressure to conform, focusing on when it’s developmentally appropriate and when it may be cause for concern. They also discuss how adults feel the same pressure to conform, emphasizing why relating to our kids, rather than judging them, is more impactful for their learning and for maintaining our connection.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:00:36) Join Team Zen

(00:04:59) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– The pressure to conform

(00:20:18) Taking care of ourselves

(00:21:25) Spanx and Skims **

(00:33:58) Flair

(00:43:45) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Todd and Cathy discuss the importance and value of difficult conversations in partnership and parenting, emphasizing the two extremes: complete avoidance or overbearing insistence on discussing things. They explore how to find a middle ground—being approachable and open, but also willing to set boundaries and agree to expectations. This approach allows for a home environment where real conversations are encouraged and practiced, and where everyone feels heard and comfortable sharing.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:08:24) Setting an infrastructure for difficult conversations

(00:18:47) Talking ourselves out of having difficult conversations

(00:14:05) Difficult Conversations Sign up for Cathy’s Substack

(00:29:33) Join Team Zen

(00:38:35) Finding the balance **

(00:41:12) If react immediately, I shut her down, if I wait too long, I shut me down) **

(01:02:48) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Todd and Cathy discuss what brings us joy when we are young versus what brings us joy when we are older. They also discuss agreements that can be made within a relationship to keep communication open and healthy. They share why it’s important to appreciate who we are and where we are now, rather than trying to return to a certain time, body, or mindset that may not align with who we have become.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:01:00) Grief & Time- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack

(00:07:13) Relationship Agreements

(00:22:40) Novelty & Ordinary

(00:25:26) Join Team Zen

(00:32:44) Incredible hulk

(00:34:49) Levels of joy **

(00:45:02) Body Awareness **

(00:48:40) Normal Eating **

(00:50:48 ) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Todd and Cathy discuss who’s in the inner circle of the Brat Pack and who is Brat Pack adjacent based on their memories from the 80s and their experience with Andrew McCarthy’s Brat Pack Documentary. They discuss how growth and self-awareness play significant roles in the documentary, and why some individuals evolve faster than others. They also touch on Inside Out 2 and address a listener question about shifting generational cycles.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:00:43) Join Team Zen

(00:01:20) Chain breaker in a family system

(00:10:20) Brats

(00:54:29) Inside Out

(01:00:58) Panic Attacks**

(01:01:32) Parts work **

(01:03:20) uncomfortable and uncomfortable emotion **

(01:05:42) Pride- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack

(01:06:14) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Cathy and Todd discuss how women are socialized to become smaller and more restricted, and then begin to unwind and unfold this process once they become aware of what’s happening. Cathy provides an overview of this in her Substack titled ‘Women Unfolding,’ explaining why this is the image she sees in her mind when she works with women. Todd shares his version of men unfolding, and they discuss songs that have parentheses in the title and debate whether or not those parentheses are necessary.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Time Stamps

(00:13:33) Todd’s perception of cheese sauce on nachos *

(00:00:52) Join Team Zen

(00:17:27) Women Unfolding- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack

(00:20:29) Folds in regards to on our kids report cards *

(00:29:40) Folding in as if we’re still children *

(00:32:20) The hole

(00:44:15) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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Todd and Cathy discuss acceptance and emphasize the importance of releasing old ideas and remaining open to new ones in order to figure out how to accept and move forward. They also discuss the reality of nuance and paradox, explaining why decision-making is not about finding the ‘right’ decision, but rather the right decision for right now. The also talk about Tim McGraw’s music and how it reminds us to be our best selves.

For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.

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Monday Night Wildcard- Why did “Man or Bear” Go Viral? (all genders)

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Time Stamps

(00:04:38) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack

(00:10:54) Acceptance

(00:12:30) When couples lose themselves and blend

(00:28:33) Kids doing it differently

(00:29:02) Join Team Zen

(00:32:07) When life doesn’t match out blueprint **

(00:41:03) Devil’s advocate on acceptance**

(00:59:28) Painting and Remodeling Needs?  Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800

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