In this episode of A Simple Therapy Podcast, Sindee Gozansky sits down with Dr. Bruce Chalmer, a couples therapist, author, and podcaster who has spent more than 30 years helping people navigate intimacy, betrayal, and forgiveness.

They explore why communication skills alone won’t save a struggling relationship, how true healing begins with the courage to face intimacy, and what Dr. Chalmer calls the “oh, shit moment” that can change everything for a couple. He also shares insights from his latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, offering a compassionate framework for understanding betrayal, releasing self-blame, and finding faith—whether couples choose to stay together or part ways.

With stories of couples who rebuilt their marriages stronger than before, a three-step path to forgiveness, and the wisdom of his “meta-serenity prayer,” this conversation is rich with guidance for therapists and couples alike.

If you’ve ever wondered how trust can be rebuilt after heartbreak, this episode offers not just answers, but hope—and a simple invitation to live by: be kind, don’t panic, and have faith.

00:00 - Introduction and Guest Welcome

02:52 - Dr. Bruce’s Path to Becoming a Couples Therapist

04:58 - The “Oh, Shit” Moment in Couples Therapy

08:01 - From Psychodynamic Training to a More Human Approach

12:40 - Why Communication Skills Aren’t the Answer

16:08 - When Therapy Ideas Become Harmful Ideologies

20:52 - Defining Betrayal and Forgiveness

25:14 - Forgiveness as an Inside Job

29:15 - Navigating Gray Areas

31:50 - Three Steps to Forgiveness

40:49 - Shame, Apologies, and Real Repair

42:39 - Deal Breakers vs. Growing Pains in Relationships

47:06 - The Meta-Serenity Prayer and Faith in the Unknown

48:59 - Advice for Therapists Supporting Betrayed Couples

53:46 - Guidance for Couples Before and During Therapy

Check out Berries:

https://heyberries.com/heart-centered Use Discount Code: Sindee50 for $50 off your first month

Shop Mental Health Threads: https://mentalhealththreads.etsy.com

 

Connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer:

Dr. Bruce Chalmer Couples Therapy in 7 Words Podcast 

https://youtube.com/@brucechalmer  

https://www.linkedin.com/in/bruce-chalmer-95ab70305

https://www.facebook.com/drbrucechalmer 

Connect with Sindee Gozansky:

Visit my website: asimpletherapypodcast.com/

Join the Heart-Centered Therapist Community FB group: 
facebook.com/groups/478651669638167

Instagram:
instagram.com/heartcenteredtherapist/

YouTube: youtube.com/@asimpletherapypodcast

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sindeegozansky/

 

Want to be a guest on the podcast? 

Email Sindee: [email protected]