After the Affair

142. Disgust, Shame, and Survival: The Psychology Behind Post-Affair Revulsion


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Disgust isn’t just a passing reaction. For many betrayed partners, it’s a visceral, body-based response that no amount of logic or reassurance can dissolve.

In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood trauma responses after infidelity: disgust. Why it shows up. What it’s really saying. And how to respond to it without shame.

This is for anyone who’s ever recoiled at the sight or touch of the person they used to love, and then judged themselves for it.

💡 Key Takeaways:
  • Disgust is a protective trauma response, not a moral failing.
  • It often stems from your nervous system flagging something as unsafe, not from conscious thought.
  • Shame often follows disgust, creating an inner loop of silence, self-blame, and confusion.
  • Healing starts by validating your body’s response, not forcing it to move faster than it’s ready.
  • Safety, not guilt, is the antidote to disgust
  • If this episode resonated with you, join the Chaos to Clarity group coaching program, a supportive space where your healing isn’t rushed, your voice is heard, and your nervous system is finally allowed to feel safe again.

    Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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