After the Affair

150. Trigger Warning: What To Do When Everything Sets You Off After Infidelity


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Triggers after betrayal can feel sudden, overwhelming, and impossible to control. But what if they’re not signs that you’re broken, but signals from your nervous system that you still need safety, care, and attention? In this episode, we break down what a trigger actually is (spoiler: it’s not drama), how it works, and why you don’t need to be trigger-free to be healing. Whether you're rebuilding with your partner or learning to trust yourself again, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and practical steps for staying grounded, even when your body’s screaming otherwise.

Key Points / Takeaways:

  • A trigger isn’t weakness, it’s your body remembering pain and asking: “Are we safe yet?”
  • The spiral happens not from the trigger itself, but from the story we tell ourselves after.
  • You can feel a trigger without obeying the fear it brings.
  • Triggers soften when you respond with awareness, not avoidance.
  • Practical steps: Pause. Name it. Locate it in the body. Choose a response that honours you.
  • Healing isn’t about eliminating every trigger, it’s about learning to meet them with gentleness and self-trust.
  • Connect with Luke:

    • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
    • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
    • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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      After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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