After the Affair

151. The Questions You’re Afraid to Ask: But Desperately Need Answered (Q&A Part 2)


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What if the questions that keep looping in your mind, the ones you’re too ashamed or exhausted to voice, aren’t just valid, but shared by thousands of others going through betrayal?

In this second part of our Q&A series (Listen to episode 146 for the first part), I answer the raw, unfiltered questions that most people keep buried:

  • Why do I feel ashamed in public, even though I did nothing wrong?
  • Why does forgiveness feel like betrayal?
  • How do I stay emotionally present for my children when I’m falling apart?
  • Is it normal to feel like I’m becoming someone I don’t even like?
  • Why do I keep replaying arguments in my head?
  • How do I let go of the life I thought I’d have?
  • Whether you’re early in your healing or quietly carrying it years later, this episode offers grounded insight and compassionate reminders:

    You’re not broken.

    You’re not alone.

    And you don’t have to heal perfectly to heal powerfully.

    Key Takeaways:

    • Shame after betrayal often lands on the wrong person … you.

      Social spaces can feel like minefields, but you are allowed to take up space, even in your pain.

    • Forgiveness is not about erasing your experience.

      It’s not a betrayal of self; it’s a release of emotional tension, done on your timeline.

    • Your children don’t need perfection; they need presence.

      Emotional honesty and repair do more than false composure ever could.

    • You’re not becoming a worse version of yourself.

      You’re adapting. And healing means reconnecting with the person you’re becoming, not rushing to return to who you were.

    • Unspoken arguments linger for a reason.

      The unsaid words still matter, even if you only say them to yourself.

    • Letting go of the old life is not failure.

      It’s a sacred grief, and a quiet invitation into something new.

      What question have you been carrying silently through your healing journey?

      Come share it (or just listen in) over in the Facebook group:

      Connect with Luke:

      • Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
      • Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
      • Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

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        After the AffairBy Luke Shillings

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