On Attachment

#205: How to Process a Sudden Break-Up (AKA the "Avoidant Discard")


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When a relationship ends without warning, it’s common to feel blindsided, confused, and deeply hurt. This is often labelled the “avoidant discard” — but while that term might feel validating in the moment, it can also keep you stuck in a disempowering story.

In this episode, we’ll talk about how to process a sudden ending in a way that honours your pain without leaving you tethered to it. We’ll explore:

  • Why shock and lack of closure can intensify heartbreak
  • The difference between feeling discarded and being discarded
  • How villain/victim narratives can hold you back from real healing
  • The impact of online echo chambers on your recovery
  • Practical steps to reclaim your agency and move forward

This isn’t about minimising what you’ve been through. It’s about finding a more grounded, self-responsible way to engage with what happened — so you can process it fully, integrate the lessons, and step into your next chapter with clarity and self-respect.

Highlighted Links

  • Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
  • Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

  • Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
  • Join my email list 💌
  • Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
  • Visit my website
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On AttachmentBy Stephanie Rigg

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