In this Ask Steph episode, we explore one of the most common (and understandable) questions in anxious–avoidant dynamics: what actually helps an avoidant partner feel safe enough to open up emotionally?

If you tend toward anxious attachment, it can feel deeply unsettling to sense that parts of your partner’s inner world are closed off to you. That can create a strong pull to try harder, ask more questions, or push for emotional access — often with the hope that if they open up, it will mean you’re finally “enough.”

In this episode, we unpack why that instinct can backfire, and what genuinely supports emotional safety instead.