This week on 40ish: Stop the Press! Nicole has changed foundation brands and has also been rebranded “The Immaculate Bob Lady” Lauren is in some very functional new Uniqlo trousers - they may qualify her for early admission to the National Trust but she has recently discovered she’s an icon, so it’s all ok. A listener asks if she’s being oversensitive when her husband teases her about her outfit - babe, we’ve heard worse - and one woman rants about a pair of shoes that are “So Her” but is too scared to ask for custody.

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Today on 40ish: Lauren reports back from the cinematic gothic f***fest where the wind was wild, the passion was feral, and one drenched Jacob Elordi on horseback has single-handedly reset her standards and her blood pressure. Frankly, she hasn’t been the same since. For God’s sake, someone hide the linen shirts and put her in a cold shower. Meanwhile, Nicole’s quest for a dignified lunch ends in sadness at the hands of the bleakest tuna sandwich ever assembled. Was it food? Was it a cry for help? Either way, John Lewis may need to answer for its crimes. The Place To Eat? More like ‘The Place To Die’ Plus, a listener deals with an infuriating workplace body-shaming moment, and the Valentine’s Day reports are in. Memo to all men: Don’t buy shit flowers. It’s bodice ripping, sandwich flinging, flower judging chaos. Enjoy! 

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Today on 40ish: it's Nicole's birthday. Both Lauren and her padel friends have baked for her although Nicole has to quite literally ‘spell it out’. Lauren shares her latest Amazon purchase - anal gland chews for smelly rear ends (they're for the dog - relax!) and graphically overshares her experience trying on SKIMS. Meanwhile, a listener writes in to ask if she's being unreasonable to be annoyed with her husband sexting her whilst he is away for two weeks and she is left holding the fort at home. Finally, a gym Karen unleashes a rant about girls who scroll Insta whilst strolling slowly as a sloth on the treadmills. 

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Today on 40ish: Lauren buys oat bran.She doesn’t know why. She doesn’t know how to use it. She just knows she should. Nicole, newly Botoxed and feeling refreshed, takes great pleasure in mocking the oat-bran era… before promptly opening her Ocado app to add some to her own basket. It’s fibre fabulous! We also hear from a listener who unleashes menopausal rage at her kids’ headteacher during a Duke of Edinburgh presentation (honestly, that alone would test anyone’s sanity), and another who asks the truly important midlife question: Is it disgusting to try on knickers in a changing room?

Expect judgement, solidarity and the comforting reminder that none of us are alone - even when we’re standing on the pavement holding an empty M&S basket.

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Today on 40ish, Lauren and Nicole debut a brand-new game: What’s the Most Middle-Aged Thing in Your Amazon Basket? Brace yourselves; there is nothing remotely sexy about it. Lauren is also celebrating a genuine midlife milestone: she remembered her PIN without having to lock her card. Growth. A listener writes in with a juicy dilemma as she weighs up her stale marriage against some unexpectedly flirty messages from an old flame, and in news that has personally offended us, Gen Z are listing items on Vinted as “Vintage Y2K.”Vintage?! We were there! 

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Today on 40ish: Nicole is still in wardrobe crisis. She’s retreated back to skinny jeans and some decidedly mumsy leather trousers (absolutely do not say the word jeggings). Meanwhile, she’s attempting—against all odds—to convince Lauren to sign up for a 26-mile charity walk. (Spoiler: the chances are slim)  as Lauren is far too busy debating whether it’s socially acceptable to join in a TikTok dance with a group of 12-year-olds. Elsewhere, a listener writes in with an excruciating dilemma after finding herself Maid of Honour to a spectacularly rude bride, and another woman shares a mortifying café mix-up when she confidently shares a coffee with a total stranger. It’s midlife confusion, second-hand embarrassment, and questionable fashion choices—business as usual.

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Today on 40ish Lauren has done her back in by making the bed. Tragic? Yes. Painful? Also yes. Meanwhile Nicole is floating serenely on a cloud of oestrogen but despite the hormonal induced glow her family are still approaching with caution. They discuss the Beckham feud (because it’s deliciously unavoidable)  Lauren's apparent inability to choose shoes that Nicole doesn't deem "DISGUSTING" and why underwear is not optional (and why Nicole needs to repeat this)  Plus: A listener dilemma about hairy arms and meltdowns over Best Before dates and the pronunciation of the letter “H”  It’s Midlife, Minor injuries and Major opinions.

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To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here 

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Today on 40ish: Nicole is just one more day away from her HRT implant and her husband is bravely counting down the hours until he can exist, speak, or inhale oxygen without being informed he’s irritating. (Stay strong, Adam). Meanwhile, Lauren and her husband enjoy the most middle-aged date imaginable: a couples health scan. Meanwhile, a listener writes in with her dilemma: She desperately wants to go nowhere and do absolutely nothing, yet is deeply offended when she’s not invited. It’s advanced-level FOMO that only midlife can deliver. And then, naturally, we arrive at bin bag rage. Because bin bags have one job. Splitting open on the clean kitchen floor is just rage baiting in all it’s glory. 

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Today on 40ish: Lauren innocently considers buying some new trainers and is promptly informed by her son she’s an “NPC”. Rude. Confusing (Isn’t that a car park?) We unpack the insult, and whether footwear is now a personality flaw.

Meanwhile, the brain fog is fogging as Nicole misplaces her keys and eventually finds them in the last place any sane person would look. And in dilemma territory, things take a deeply uncomfortable turn when a listener realises her doctor is a man she once dated…and he’s about to look at her bum. Is it ever acceptable to say, “Well, this is awkward,” while wearing a paper gown? Midlife confusion, lost keys, and emotional damage. Business as usual.

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To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here 

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This week on 40ish: Nicole finds unexpected emotional support from ChatGPT and, honestly, it’s more validating than most real-life husbands. Speaking of husbands, they are absolutely not winning at life this week. Both Lauren and Nicole have suffered through a list of their offences, including breathing, speaking, napping on the sofa, and the ultimate crime: wearing jeans on the bed. Meanwhile, a listener writes in with anxiety after being asked to take part in a group singalong at a friend’s 50th birthday. Is it a lovely gesture or full on cringe? It’s Midlife dilemmas, minor marital crimes, and awkwardness guaranteed.

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To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here 

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This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH

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