Change is hard no matter how you look at it, but your perception of change adds another layer. This often happens when you complain about someone, believing they need to do things differently. “Why do they always do X?!” or “Why don’t they stop doing X?” There is no room for them to be themselves and make their own choices. It can also happen the other way. Maybe someone in your life changed and you don’t like it. You swear they are wrong or bad, and you want them to go back to the way they were. In your mind, your perception is the only way. You can’t let go or accept anything different. But why do you personalize someone else’s actions, and feel the need to judge them? When you label someone’s lack of change (or their new way of doing things) as good or bad, you’re attaching your own story to it.

You are not responsible for someone else’s path, and you can’t control what they do or don’t do. Sure it can be frustrating when people don’t do what you want, but instead of shaming them for being “wrong,” turn the mirror on yourself. Why do their actions make you uncomfortable? Why do you have such a rigid view of right and wrong? What are YOU clinging to? And what do you get out of being judgmental and self-righteous? In this episode we will dig into these questions and more because the only person you can change is yourself.

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