In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami address participant questions about sex, intimacy, betrayal, and addiction. They answer questions about finding peace with yourself in the midst of rage and repulsion, choosing recovery and allowing the process of forgiveness to play out, and how to find hope in the midst of betrayal. 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:00] Forgiveness is a process and recovery is a choice. 

[7:01] Are you taking care of your spouse while you’re dying inside? 

[12:26] Is in-house separation the next right step? 

[18:18] My husband’s betrayal has created chronic triggers in me. Now what? 

[26:56] Finding hope in the midst of betrayal. 

[27:44] What therapy is available to my lying partner? 

[36:16] What can I do to grow my emotional maturity when I’m stressed? 

[41:31] How can I move beyond my rage and repulsion at my betraying partner? 

[49:28] How do you know when your partner is serious about change or just going through the motions? 

[54:05] I have so much rage and I want revenge. How can I fix this? 

[57:44] Should I know what my partner’s arousal template is? 

 

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: [email protected]

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. 

 

QUOTES

• “Begging for forgiveness is not respecting the other person because they need to hurt for a while.” 

• “You’re the one with the problem if you still let him in your bed.” 

• “Women are not the problem. Your cheating husband is the problem.” 

• “Whatever the other person does, you have to be strong enough to say ‘I am worth more’.” 

• “Don’t ask ‘how can I not feel this way?’ Ask ‘how can I be at peace with myself?’”