It’s hard enough to recognize that you need to change your behaviors and then to do so. How are you supposed to do it when it relates to your divorce? Kurt is a sought-after behavioral scientist and recognized leader in human motivation and behavior change. For over 20 years, Kurt has worked with global companies to apply behavioral science principles to drive change in their organizations. Today, Kurt joins Seth and Pete to talk about the challenges of behavioral change during the divorce process – and why it’s important.Sometimes, it’s a behavioral change that happened during the marriage that’s actually leading to the divorce. Sometimes, it’s recognizing a change in yourself that you need to make in order to work through issues you have that led to the divorce. And sometimes, it’s changes you need to make during the divorce process that just might make the process easier. 
But change is hard. We all know that. So Pete and Seth talk with Kurt about how to recognize changes you might need to make, changes your ex made that you now have to deal with, and more. How do you find your own autonomy so you can make the behavioral changes you need to make? How do you deal with different dynamics? What about when child support or co-parenting is involved in the behavioral changes you need to make? And how do you deal with the challenges of what you plan versus the reality? It all involves learning to change your behavior during a period of potential great fear, loss, anger, grief, and other intense emotions. We hope in this episode that you’ll find some advice as to how you can start taking those first steps.
About KurtKurt is a sought-after behavioral scientist and recognized leader in human motivation and behavior change. For over 20 years, Kurt has worked with global companies to apply behavioral science principles to drive change in their organizations.He is founder and president of The Lantern Group, a communication and behavioral design agency which uses behavioral science insights to improve employee engagement and motivation. He also is the co-founder, with Tim Houlihan, of the Behavioral Grooves podcast, where they interview leading academic and business executives from around the world and explore how they apply behavioral science to their work and lives. All his work focuses on understanding ways to positively influence how people behave.
Show Links

• The Lantern Group
• Kurt on LinkedIn, Twitter and YouTube
• Kurt’s Podcast Behavioral Grooves

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (00:26) - Meet Kurt Nelson
• (03:23) - Behavioral Change in Divorce
• (06:06) - Finding Your Autonomy
• (10:16) - When You Don't Want the Divorce
• (12:17) - Ultimatum Game
• (13:50) - Hot Psychological Situation
• (17:23) - Mediation
• (19:13) - Different Dynamics
• (22:54) - Child Support Guidelines
• (26:07) - Sponsor: Soberlink
• (28:06) - Intentionally Irrational Math Language
• (32:27) - Plans vs. Reality
• (35:27) - How to Prepare Yourself
• (37:27) - Getting the Ball Rolling
• (38:58) - Managing Fear and Loss
• (43:00) - Moving Forward
• (49:48) - Kurt's Podcasts
• (52:13) - Wrap Up