Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris

What happens when the swinger lifestyle starts to feel less like freedom and more like permission?

In this raw and honest Beyond Monogamy Quickie, Adam and Pris unpack a listener confession that hits closer to home than most people want to admit: one-sided rules in the lifestyle.

The listener describes a dynamic where her husband controls who she can play with, forbids single men, and ultimately restricts her from being with men at all—while she places no rules on him and genuinely wants him to have the best experiences possible. She agrees to the restrictions not because they align with her desires, but because she's afraid of losing the lifestyle—and possibly her marriage.

Adam and Pris break down where these rules often come from, how insecurity shows up early in the lifestyle, and why control is frequently mistaken for safety. They share deeply personal stories from their own journey, including early jealousy, discomfort with watching, and how reassurance, over-communication, and patience helped them evolve instead of implode.

This episode isn't about villainizing anyone. It's about understanding that feelings are valid on both sides—and that sustainable non-monogamy requires collaboration, not permission slips.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why one-sided rules are so common in new swinger dynamics
• The difference between reassurance and restriction
• Why watching can be harder than participating
• How insecurity shows up differently for men and women
• The emotional cost of agreeing to rules you don't actually want
• Why slowing down can save your relationship
• How to schedule "the uncomfortable conversation" without blowing things up

If you've ever felt like you were compromising too much just to keep the lifestyle alive—or if you're the partner struggling with jealousy and fear—this conversation is for you.

Upcoming Events & Where to Find Us:

• Live SDC Webinar: February 22nd at 4:00 PM Central – Finding & Vetting Couples: From Profiles to First Meet (Without the Cringe)
• In Person: Club Eden DFW – Saturday, January 31st
• Full Swap Radio: Streaming every Thursday at 2 PM & 7 PM Central

Have a confession, question, or story of your own? Visit www.beyond-monogamy.com and submit it through the Beyond Monogamy Confessional—100% anonymous.

Whether you're swinging, poly, monogamous, curious, or just trying to understand your relationship better—we're really glad you're here.

This episode is a deep, grounded, and powerful conversation.

In this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with relationship and sexuality professional Martha Kauppi, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, author, educator, and founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy.

Martha works at the intersection of intimacy, attachment, nervous system regulation, and relationship patterns — helping people understand not just what's happening in their relationships, but why it's happening in their bodies, emotions, and connection styles.

Together, we unpack some of the most important (and misunderstood) parts of ethical non-monogamy and long-term relationships: communication, differentiation, emotional regulation, compersion, desire, and the real work that starts after the fun part.

Martha shares how her personal life and family history led her into this field, why open relationships have been unfairly pathologized in therapy spaces, and what decades-long non-monogamous relationships actually look like when they are built with intention.

This conversation goes far beyond labels. We talk about what happens when couples move from swinging into emotional connections, how to navigate mismatched needs, how to express hard truths without destroying trust, and how to stay connected when discomfort shows up.

You'll hear powerful insight on:

• Why communication is a skill set, not a personality trait
• The difference between rules, regulation, and relational safety
• Why many therapists misunderstand non-monogamy
• How to explore ethically without overwhelming your relationship
• Compersion, jealousy, and emotional self-awareness
• How long-term non-monogamous relationships actually sustain intimacy

Adam and Pris also get personal — opening up about their own journey from swinging into polyamory and back out again, what they learned about themselves, and how those experiences reshaped their communication, trust, and emotional depth.

This episode is honest, validating, and packed with insight whether you're monogamous, exploring, actively non-monogamous, or simply trying to build better relationships.

About our guest: Martha Kauppi is a certified sex therapist, clinical trainer, and author of Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients). She trains therapists internationally and hosts the podcast Untangling Intimacy.

Learn more at: Institute for Relational Intimacy

Listener discretion advised. This show contains adult themes and real relationship discussions.

This Wednesday Quickie goes places.

In this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we dive headfirst into a real, unfiltered conversation about how to set up a gang bang — not the porn version, but the actual real-life logistics, planning, communication, and consent that go into making a fantasy like this happen.

Pris opens up about a long-standing bucket-list fantasy and makes one thing crystal clear: this experience is about her pleasure, her comfort, and her rules. From hand-selecting participants to making sure everyone understands expectations, boundaries, and consent, this episode breaks down why fantasies take way more work than people realize.

Adam plays the role of curious fly-on-the-wall, asking the real questions most people are thinking but never say out loud — flakiness, performance anxiety, group dynamics, recording consent, and whether everyone involved can actually handle the environment.

And just when you think the episode couldn't get more interesting, the conversation takes a turn into lifestyle storytime as Adam and Pris recount a recent swinger party where they discovered something entirely new: ball stretching weights. What started as parallel play turned into a candid (and hilarious) breakdown of how these accessories work, why some couples love them, and how curiosity fuels ongoing exploration in the lifestyle.

This episode is equal parts sexy, funny, educational, and brutally honest — covering:

• Why real-life fantasies require planning, vetting, and communication
• The difference between porn expectations and lived experiences
• Consent, comfort, and setting clear intentions
• Exhibitionism, performance pressure, and group dynamics
• How curiosity keeps long-term non-monogamous relationships exciting

If you've ever wondered how fantasies actually come together — or why most of them never do — this episode pulls back the curtain.

Listener discretion advised. This show is raw, real, and absolutely not PG.

If you've ever seen photos of adults-only lifestyle cruises or hotel takeovers and thought, "That looks incredible… but also a little intimidating," this episode is for you.

Adam & Pris sit down with Claudia and Pepe Aguirre of LLV Club (Luxury Lifestyle Vacations) to pull back the curtain on what luxury lifestyle travel actually looks like — from cruises and hotel takeovers to immersive, adults-only experiences around the world.

LLV Club is known for blending upscale travel, ethical non-monogamy, education, and real community. You're not just booking a vacation — you're stepping into an experience designed around comfort, consent, connection, and choice.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What LLV Club really is and how it works
• Why first-time lifestyle travelers don't need to be nervous
• How community is built before, during, and after trips
• The difference between river cruises, ocean cruises, and hotel takeovers
• What makes these experiences feel safe, structured, and welcoming
• Why many people come for the fun — but stay for the friendships

Claudia and Pepe also share how their background in hospitality shaped LLV Club, why consent and comfort come first, and how these trips attract respectful, successful, open-minded adults from all over the world.

Whether you're lifestyle-curious, travel-obsessed, or just ready for a vacation that actually feels like an escape, this episode breaks it all down without the hype or pressure.

LLV Club Website: https://www.llvclub.com Email: [email protected] Phone: +1 (857) 442-4265

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or rate us on Spotify. It helps more open-minded humans find the show.

Find all episodes, blogs, events, and guest bios at https://www.beyond-monogamy.com

Welcome to Swinger 101 — the episode we wish every curious couple listened to before jumping into the lifestyle.

In this Wednesday Quickie, Adam & Pris break down the real basics of swinging in a way only Beyond Monogamy can: honest, funny, raw, and actually helpful. If you're brand new, lifestyle-curious, or still Googling questions at 2am, this episode is for you.

We cover what swinging really is (and what it absolutely is not), how it differs from open relationships and polyamory, and why swinging is primarily a sexually-focused branch of ethical non-monogamy.

From there, we get into the stuff newbies are usually too scared to ask out loud:

• Do you have to be married to swing?
• Do swingers date or is it more casual?
• How do you even bring this up to your partner?
• What if one person wants it more than the other?
• What boundaries should you talk about first?
• Rules vs boundaries — what's the difference?
• How do you deal with jealousy when it shows up?
• Can you say no… even mid-experience?

We also walk through what actually happens at swinger clubs (spoiler: it's not an Eyes Wide Shut orgy), how privacy is protected, what first nights usually look like, and why watching is always okay.

Adam opens up about anxiety, nerves, and learning how to finally find his "no," while Pris talks honestly about jealousy, communication, and why being upfront saves everyone time and emotional energy.

We also cover:

• Soft swap vs full swap
• Approaching other couples without being awkward
• Apps, websites, and finding community safely
• Verification, fake profiles, and red flags
• STI conversations, testing, and condom expectations
• Discretion, careers, family, and real-world consequences

This episode is about doing the lifestyle intentionally, ethically, and without wrecking your relationship.

If you're new — welcome. If you're seasoned — you might still learn something. And if you've been thinking about swinging but don't know where to start… this is it.

Got questions? Leave them anonymously in the Beyond Monogamy Confessional at www.beyond-monogamy.com.

Love the show? Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen. Reviews help us grow this community more than you know.

What happens when non-monogamy stops being about labels and starts being about lived experience?

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we're joined by speaker, author, and relationship coach Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers for a conversation that goes far beyond surface-level polyamory talk.

This episode is all about learning how to live non-monogamy on your own terms — not the internet's, not your partner's, and definitely not some outdated rulebook you never agreed to in the first place.

Evita shares her personal journey from swinging to polyamory, the emotional chaos that came with it, and how jealousy became one of her greatest teachers instead of a relationship-ending villain. We talk about why jealousy isn't a failure, why compersion isn't mandatory, and why "doing it right" looks different for everyone.

If you've ever felt like you were bad at non-monogamy, overwhelmed by emotional reactions, or confused by labels that don't quite fit — this episode will feel like a deep exhale.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why non-monogamy doesn't need a label to be valid
• The emotional shift from swinging to polyamory
• Why jealousy isn't the enemy — and how to work with it
• The myth that compersion is required to be "good" at polyamory
• How freedom, curiosity, and gratitude change relationship dynamics
• Letting go of entitlement in relationships
• Why growth in non-monogamy is messy, nonlinear, and completely normal

Evita also breaks down her now-famous analogy of switching relationship operating systems — and why moving from monogamy to non-monogamy isn't a flip of a switch, but a full system reboot.

If you're new to ethical non-monogamy, questioning polyamory, or redefining what open relationships mean to you, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.

Follow & Learn More About Our Guest: Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers is the author of A Polyamory Devotional and the voice behind the popular "Daily Polyamory Reminders." Her work centers emotional literacy, communication, and radical honesty in modern relationships.

Connect with us: Visit www.beyond-monogamy.com for episode blogs, guest bios, events, merch, and our anonymous Beyond Monogamy Confessional.

Catch us on FullSwapRadio.com every Thursday at 2 PM & 7 PM CST.

Don't forget to like, subscribe, rate, review, and share the show — it helps more curious couples find conversations like this one.

Is lasting longer in bed really the goal—or have we been getting it wrong this whole time?

In this Wednesday Quickie episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we dive headfirst into a topic that gets whispered about but rarely discussed honestly: instant gratification in sex.

After a real-life conversation at the club sparked a bigger realization, Adam and Pris unpack why so many people—especially women—actually prefer when sex doesn't drag on forever. From cultural myths about "five-minute men" to the surprising confidence boost that comes from making someone finish fast, this episode flips traditional sexual expectations on their head.

We talk about:

• Why quick finishes can feel validating, sexy, and powerful
• The pressure men feel to "last forever" and why that expectation is outdated
• How the lifestyle changes arousal, stimulation, and sexual response
• Why communication matters more than performance
• What instant gratification really means emotionally—not just sexually

The conversation then takes a turn into another lifestyle reality most people avoid: how to say no after a sexual experience that just didn't click. Adam and Pris break down why you don't owe anyone an explanation, how avoiding honesty causes more harm than being direct, and why "trying it once" doesn't mean you owe someone a sequel.

If you've ever felt pressure to perform, worried about hurting someone's feelings, or wondered whether you're doing sex "right," this episode is your permission slip to relax—and get honest.

Listener discretion advised. This show is raw, real, and unapologetically adult.

🎧 New Quickie episodes drop every Wednesday.

More Beyond Monogamy: Visit www.beyond-monogamy.com for episodes, blog posts, events, merch, and confessions.

Polyamory doesn't have to be confusing, chaotic, or emotionally overwhelming.

In this episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we sit down with award-winning sex and relationships educator Leanne Yau—the brilliant mind behind Poly Philia Blog—to unpack jealousy, boundaries, emotional security, and why non-monogamy isn't a "phase" or a lack of commitment.

Leanne shares how she discovered non-monogamy at a young age, how being cheated on shaped her views of honesty and trust, and why jealousy isn't the villain people make it out to be. We also dive into boundaries, attachment styles, generational shifts in relationships, and how social media has changed the way people learn about polyamory.

This conversation is funny, deeply validating, and packed with practical insight for anyone curious about open relationships, polyamory, or navigating jealousy without shame.

In this episode, we cover:

• How Leanne discovered non-monogamy and polyamory
• Why jealousy is normal—and how to work with it instead of suppressing it
• The difference between healthy boundaries and fear-based rules
• Why non-monogamy isn't a "phase" or commitment-avoidance
• How younger generations are reshaping relationship norms
• Balancing privacy and authenticity as a content creator

Resources & Links:

• Follow Polyphilia on Instagram, TikTok, X & YouTube (@polyphiliablog) and also at

  https://direct.me/polyphiliablog

• Leanne's Patreon and peer support offerings
• More episodes and events at beyond-monogamy.com

🎙 Stream Beyond Monogamy every Thursday at 2 PM & 7 PM CST on FullSwapRadio.com.

Compersion gets talked about a lot in ethical non-monogamy — sometimes like it's a requirement, sometimes like it's a badge of honor. But what happens when it just… doesn't come naturally?

In this Wednesday Quickie episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we get real about jealousy, emotional processing, missed conversations, and the pressure people feel to "do non-monogamy right." This is a raw, honest conversation pulled straight from real life — no scripts, no coaching language, and no pretending it's always easy.

Pris opens up about why compersion doesn't come naturally to her, how cultural upbringing and jealousy wiring play a role, and why being okay is sometimes the best she can offer in the moment. Adam shares what it feels like to want to share excitement and connection with your partner — and what happens when that moment doesn't land the way you expected.

• What compersion actually means (and why it's not the opposite of jealousy)
• Why compersion is not natural for everyone
• Jealousy, possessiveness, and territorial instincts in non-monogamy
• The pressure to perform happiness for your partner
• How ADHD, stress, and mental overload affect emotional presence
• Why not talking can be more damaging than feeling jealous
• Different processing styles between partners
• Learning to communicate without shutting down
• Why compromise matters more than emotional perfection

This episode is sparked by a real play-date experience that went well — but didn't get talked about right away. Adam and Pris unpack why timing, mental space, and communication matter just as much as intentions.

If you've ever felt like you were failing at non-monogamy because jealousy showed up instead of compersion, this conversation will feel very familiar.

You do not need to feel compersion to be successful in ethical non-monogamy.

You do need honesty, self-awareness, communication, and respect for each other's boundaries.

This episode is a reminder that non-monogamy isn't about checking emotional boxes — it's about navigating real human feelings together.

Visit www.beyond-monogamy.com for:

• Upcoming events and meetups
• Beyond Monogamy merchandise
• The anonymous Beyond Monogamy Confessional
• Blog posts and episode breakdowns

You can also hear us on FullSwapRadio.com every Thursday at 2 PM and 7 PM Central.

If this episode resonated, please subscribe, rate, review, and share the show — it helps us grow and keeps these conversations going.

Episode Summary: In this powerful and overdue conversation, Adam & Pris are joined by Ashley and Rob from the United Bi Swinging Podcast to talk openly about bisexual men in the swinging lifestyle, the stigma that still exists even in sex-positive spaces, and why honest communication matters more than labels.

Ashley shares how Rob came out early in their relationship and why that honesty laid the foundation for trust instead of fear. Rob opens up about navigating bisexuality as a man in the lifestyle, why bi men often stay invisible, and how judgment — not desire — keeps people silent.

This episode tackles myths, insecurities, and real-world experiences around mixed-orientation relationships, consent, and boundaries. It's honest, supportive, and exactly the kind of conversation the lifestyle needs more of.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How Ashley & Rob entered the swinging lifestyle
• Why bi men still face stigma in sex-positive communities
• The myth that "bi men are rare"
• Why visibility doesn't always mean being out publicly
• Consent, boundaries, and debunking harmful assumptions
• Supporting a bisexual partner without fear or control
• Why community matters when you feel isolated

Guest: Ashley & Rob – United Bi Swinging Podcast

Connect with Beyond Monogamy: Website & Events: www.beyond-monogamy.com Streaming on FullSwapRadio.com every Thursday at 2 PM & 7 PM Central

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Please rate, review, and share the show. It helps these conversations reach the people who need them most.