Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

By Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint InstituteSociety & CultureRelationships
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Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute episodes

  • 36: What is Process Addiction?

    What if the coping mechanisms you rely on most are actually process addictions in disguise? This week Luke sits down with ⁠Gary Katz⁠, a licensed clinical social worker, certified addiction therapist, and director of the ⁠Center for Intimacy Recovery⁠⁠ in New York. 

    Together they discuss what process addiction is, the role of sobriety when tackling process addictions, and how these addictions can mask root issues that need addressing. 

    Through vulnerable personal stories and expert insights, Luke and Gary offer hope and understanding for anyone ready to move beyond destructive coping mechanisms and into authentic living.

    Connect with Gary Katz at ⁠[email protected]⁠

    Chapters

    • 01:05  Introducing Gary Katz

    • 02:15 Understanding Process Addiction

    • 04:13 Defining Sobriety in Process Addiction

    • 07:04 Emotional and Relational Aspects of Recovery

    • 11:46 The Role of Validation

    • 15:31 Exploring Healthy Relationships

    • 33:27 Upcoming Intensives

    • Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠

      Last Change to Register!

      • ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2025. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

      • ⁠Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women⁠ - This four-day retreat aims to provide a holistic and nurturing environment for women to heal through somatic body work. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us January 22-25, 2025 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register ⁠HERE⁠.

      • Connect With Us:

        • Learn more about Luke ⁠here⁠. 

        • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke ⁠here⁠.

        • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! ⁠Sign up here⁠.

        • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

          • ⁠Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group⁠ - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

          • ⁠Help. Her. Heal⁠ - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

          • ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

          • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

            • ⁠Intensives⁠ - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

            • ⁠Road to Recovery Webinar⁠ - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

            • ⁠Choose To Be Podcast⁠ - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

              • ⁠Healing Hearts⁠ - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal.

              • ⁠Choose Healing⁠ - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

              • ⁠Choose Renewal⁠ - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior.

              • ⁠Resilient Teens⁠ - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

              • ⁠Adult Children Uniting for Healing⁠ - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

              • Learn more and register for courses at ⁠chooserecoveryservices.com

                37 min
              • 35: Self-Pity vs True Empathy

                What is the distinction between self-pity and empathy? Luke explores this crucial difference this week with his guest, Alana Gordon (LMFT, betrayal trauma coach, and Director at Choose Recovery Services).

                Together they discuss how self-pity, often mistaken for genuine remorse, can actually block authentic connection and prevent real healing. Through their personal story of betrayal and recovery, they reveal why well-intentioned attempts to show remorse can backfire, and they share insights about how to create space for true healing and growth.

                Chapters

                • 01:08 The Harm of Self-Pity

                • 04:33 Performative Actions

                • 07:42 Humility vs Self-Pity

                • 08:51 The Drama Triangle

                • 12:58 Accountability

                • 19:08 ⁠Unmasked Intensive⁠

                • 20:57 ⁠Revive and Thrive Intensive⁠

                • Learn more about ⁠Alana Gordon⁠ and tune in to her podcast ⁠Choose To Be⁠.

                  Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠

                  Coming Up!

                  • ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2025. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

                  • ⁠Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women⁠ - This four-day retreat aims to provide a holistic and nurturing environment for women to heal through somatic body work. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us January 22-25, 2025 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register ⁠HERE⁠.

                  • Connect With Us:

                    • Learn more about Luke ⁠here⁠. 

                    • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke ⁠here⁠.

                    • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! ⁠Sign up here⁠.

                    • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                      • ⁠Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group⁠ - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                      • ⁠Help. Her. Heal⁠ - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                      • ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                      • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                        • ⁠Intensives⁠ - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                        • ⁠Road to Recovery Webinar⁠ - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                          • ⁠Healing Hearts⁠ - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

                          • ⁠Choose Healing⁠ - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                          • ⁠Choose Renewal⁠ - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                          • ⁠Resilient Teens⁠ - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                          • ⁠Adult Children Uniting for Healing⁠ - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at ⁠chooserecoveryservices.com

                          • 23 min
                          • 34: Staying Present During the Holidays

                            Are you struggling to stay present amidst the chaos of the holiday season? Join Luke as he offers practical tools like grounding exercises, mindfulness strategies, and  gratitude practices to help you reconnect with yourself and those around you. 

                            Explore how staying present can transform not only your holiday experience but your journey toward authenticity. 

                            Chapters

                            • 01:10 The Importance of Presence

                            • 01:54 Understanding Somatic Healing

                            • 03:06 Guided Meditation Exercise

                            • 09:23 Staying Present During the Holidays

                            • 11:26 Practical Tools for Presence

                            • 16:35 Upcoming Events

                            • Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

                              Coming Up!

                              • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2025. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                              • Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat aims to provide a holistic and nurturing environment for women to heal through somatic body work. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us January 22-25, 2025 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

                              • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                                  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                    • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

                                    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                    • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                      20 min
                                    • 33: Navigating Neurodiversity, Betrayal, and Healing

                                      This week Luke has a powerful conversation with Kevin Meek, a peer mentor to those who are on the path of recovery and healing. 

                                      Kevin has 13 years of recovery and sobriety from acting out behaviors. Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 50, Kevin shares his journey, the struggles of masking and camouflaging, and the tools he’s used to foster authentic connections in his relationships.

                                      Chapters

                                      • 01:22 Introducing Kevin Meek

                                      • 01:42 Kevin’s Journey to Diagnosis

                                      • 05:12 Understanding Autism and Misconceptions

                                      • 10:30 Coping Mechanisms and Tools

                                      • 18:11 The Concept of Masking

                                      • 25:38 Resources

                                      • Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

                                        Referenced in this episode:

                                        • Learn more about Kevin at Living Stones Coaching

                                        • Take the CAT-Q test at Embrace Autism

                                        • Association for Autism and Neurodiversity (AANE)

                                        • Connect With Us:

                                          • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                          • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                          • Coming Up!

                                            • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                            • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                              • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                              • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                              • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                              • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                                                • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                  • Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.

                                                  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                  • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                  • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                  • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                  • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                    31 min
                                                  • 32: My Partner Can't Handle the Truth!

                                                    Do you ever feel like there are things your partner can’t handle, so you find yourself shielding them from the whole truth? Join Luke this week and his guest Laura Fisher, a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services, as they explore why hiding the truth can be more damaging than the truth itself. 

                                                    End the cycle of secrecy and learn how transparency can be the key to rebuilding trust and intimacy after betrayal.

                                                    Chapters

                                                    • 01:12 Information on Upcoming Unmasked Intensive

                                                    • 01:54 Introducing Laura Fisher

                                                    • 02:25 The Dilemma of Sharing Information

                                                    • 05:33 The Importance of Honesty

                                                    • 08:48 Navigating Hard Conversations

                                                    • 13:14 The Partner’s Perspective

                                                    • 19:29 The Impact of Secrets on Partners

                                                    • Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

                                                      Connect With Us:

                                                      • Learn more about Laura and book a session with her here.

                                                      • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                      • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                      • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                      • Coming Up!

                                                        • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                        • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                          • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                                          • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                                          • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                          • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                            • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                                                            • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                            • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                              • Healing Hearts - 15-week self-paced course for individuals and couples to complete. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

                                                              • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                              • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                              • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                              • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                              • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com


                                                                25 min
                                                              • 31: Individual vs. Couples Work - Where Do We Start?

                                                                Can’t we just do couples work? Why do I have to do my own work? If you’ve felt yourself thinking that, then you’re likely avoiding the most important work of healing: understanding yourself.

                                                                This week Luke welcomes guest Rachel Strong Smith, a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services, and together they discuss the importance of individual healing as a precursor to healthy relational healing.

                                                                Learn about the pitfalls of aloofness and enmeshment and discover the power of self-connection. Uncover how personal growth and doing your own work can lead to stronger, more authentic relationships with others.

                                                                Chapters

                                                                • 01:15 Meet Rachel Strong Smith

                                                                • 03:24 Aloofness vs. Enmeshment

                                                                • 06:07 Examples of Aloof and Enmeshed Behaviors

                                                                • 09:06 Importance of Self-Connection

                                                                • 12:01 Individual vs. Couples Work

                                                                • 19:21 The Tree Analogy

                                                                • Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

                                                                  Connect With Us:

                                                                  • Learn more about Rachel and book a session with her here.

                                                                  • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                  • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                  • Coming Up!

                                                                    • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                    • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                      • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                                                      • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                                                      • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                      • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                        • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                                                                        • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                                        • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                          • Healing Hearts - 15-week self-paced course for individuals and couples to complete. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

                                                                          • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                          • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                          • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                          • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
                                                                            Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                          • 24 min
                                                                          • 30: I Wish My Partner Had a Softer Approach

                                                                            Ever wonder why your partner’s approach feels intense? Join Luke and guest Hali Roderick as they dive deep into understanding why partners react the way that they do.

                                                                            Learn how to foster empathy, regulate emotions, and turn conflict into a pathway for deeper connection and growth. 

                                                                            Meet Hali Roderick - Hali is a coach at Choose Recovery Services. She leads a Help.Her.Heal group, is the co-host of the Choosing to Stay podcast, and hosts Road to Recovery, a free, monthly webinar.

                                                                            Chapters

                                                                            • 01:13 Meet Hali Roderick

                                                                            • 02:43 Understanding Betrayal and Recovery

                                                                            • 08:06 The Role of Empathy in Healing

                                                                            • 12:53 Challenges in Communication 

                                                                            • 19:51 Doing the Work: Sincerity and Vulnerability 

                                                                            • Connect With Us:

                                                                              • Learn more about Hali here. 

                                                                              • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                              • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                              • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                              • Coming Up!

                                                                                • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                                • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                  • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                                                                  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                                                                  • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                  • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                    • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                                                                                    • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                                                    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                      • Healing Hearts - 15-week self-paced course for individuals and couples to complete. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

                                                                                      • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                      • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                      • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                      • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
                                                                                        Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                      • 29 min
                                                                                      • 29: What is Emotional Integrity?

                                                                                        Do you struggle with showing authentic emotions like anger and shame? Join the conversation with Luke and Stephanie Hamby, a fellow coach from Choose Recovery Services as they talk about emotional intelligence and integrity.. 

                                                                                        Stephanie defines emotional integrity and together she and Luke explore how to identify and name a broad range of emotions, develop emotional intelligence, and align your reactions with your true feelings. 

                                                                                        Chapters

                                                                                        • 01:08 Meet Stepanie Hamby

                                                                                        • 04:04 Emotional Intelligence in Early Recovery

                                                                                        • 04:57 Developing Emotional Intelligence as a Skill

                                                                                        • 07:57 Challenges Men Face with Emotional Intelligence

                                                                                        • 10:12 Exploring Emotional Integrity

                                                                                        • 12:51 Practical Steps to Emotional Integrity

                                                                                        • 17:10 The Analogy of the Wounded Dog

                                                                                        • Connect With Us:

                                                                                          • Learn more about Stephanie here. 

                                                                                          • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                          • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                                          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                          • Coming Up!

                                                                                            • Take Back the Holidays Special Workshop - Choose Recovery Services is excited to sponsor this workshop presented by Sarah Morales. Learn strategies and tools to help you shift from feeling anxious and powerless to empowered and equipped to face holiday experiences with those who have a history of gaslighting. The workshop will be November 16th from 11am-1pm CST and costs $30. Follow sarahmoralescoaching on Instagram and register for the workshop HERE. 

                                                                                              • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Jan 15-17, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                                              • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                                                                                • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                                                                                • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                  • Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

                                                                                                  • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                                                                  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                    • Healing Hearts - 15-week self-paced course for individuals and couples. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

                                                                                                    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
                                                                                                      Learn more and register at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                    • 24 min
                                                                                                    • 28: Why Attend a Men's Intensive?

                                                                                                      You’ve heard us talk about intensives, but what exactly are they and how can they help in recovery?

                                                                                                      Join Luke as he talks with Brandon and Curtis, two men who recently attended the Unmasked Intensive hosted by Choose Recovery Services. Brandon and Curtis explain the benefits that focusing on their healing in an intensive setting with other men in similar circumstances had on their growth and healing. 

                                                                                                      They reveal how their self-discovery work during the intensive sparked profound personal change, helped them gain deeper self-acceptance, allowed them to be vulnerable, and enabled them to experience authentic connection. 

                                                                                                      If you are interested in exploring whether a Choose Recovery Services intensive might be a good fit for you, visit our Intensives webpage. Our next Unmasked Men’s Intensive will be January 15-17, 2024 in Spanish Fork Utah. Learn more and register HERE.

                                                                                                      Chapters

                                                                                                      02:58 Curtis’s Journey to the Intensive

                                                                                                      04:37 Brandon’s Journey to the Intensive

                                                                                                      06:13 Insights From the Intensive

                                                                                                      09:00 Impact of Vulnerability and Authenticity

                                                                                                      18:28 Masculinity and Recovery

                                                                                                      Connect With Us:

                                                                                                      • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                      • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                                                      • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                      • Coming Up!

                                                                                                        • Take Back the Holidays Special Workshop - Choose Recovery Services is excited to sponsor this workshop presented by Sarah Morales. Learn strategies and tools to help you shift from feeling anxious and powerless to empowered and equipped to face holiday experiences with those who have a history of gaslighting. The workshop will be November 16th from 11am-1pm CST and costs $30. Follow sarahmoralescoaching on Instagram and register for the workshop HERE. 

                                                                                                        • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                          • Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

                                                                                                          • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                                                                                          • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                          • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                            • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                                                                            • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                              • Healing Hearts - 15-week self-paced course for individuals and couples to complete. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

                                                                                                              • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                              • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                              • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                              • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
                                                                                                                Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                              • 27 min
                                                                                                              • 27: Full Therapeutic Disclosures Part 5 - Starting the Process For Both Partners

                                                                                                                Curious about where to even begin when thinking about full therapeutic disclosures? Luke again joins Amie and Alana on their podcast, Choose To Be, as they discuss the emotional preparation needed for both partners, especially focusing on the betrayer’s steps toward full transparency. 

                                                                                                                Learn how to navigate the complexities of disclosure including the importance of empathy, the role of professionals, how to approach questions, and the value of impact letters. 

                                                                                                                Whether you're the one who betrayed or the one betrayed, this conversation offers valuable tools and validation for building a foundation of healing and possible reconciliation during the disclosure process.

                                                                                                                Get our FREE eBook “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?” delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here!

                                                                                                                Watch the episode on YouTube HERE

                                                                                                                Referenced in this episode:

                                                                                                                • Listen to Part 1,  Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4

                                                                                                                • Learn more about Amie Woolsey

                                                                                                                • Learn more about Alana Gordon

                                                                                                                • Tune in to Amie and Alana’s podcast Choose To Be

                                                                                                                  • Episode on polygraphs
                                                                                                                  • Chapters

                                                                                                                    • 02:15 The Betrayer’s Preparation Process

                                                                                                                    • 09:12 Tools and Resources for Disclosure

                                                                                                                    • 20:40 Building a Safety Plan

                                                                                                                    • 39:36 Navigating Anger

                                                                                                                    • 42:58 Formulating Questions

                                                                                                                    • 48:40 Impact Letter

                                                                                                                    • Connect With Us:

                                                                                                                      • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                                      • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                                                                      • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                                      • Coming Up!

                                                                                                                        • Take Back the Holidays Special Workshop - Choose Recovery Services is excited to sponsor this workshop presented by Sarah Morales. Learn strategies and tools to help you shift from feeling anxious and powerless to empowered and equipped to face holiday experiences with those who have a history of gaslighting. The workshop will be November 16th from 11am-1pm CST and costs $30. Follow sarahmoralescoaching on Instagram and register for the workshop HERE. 

                                                                                                                        • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                                          • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                                                          • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                                                          • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

                                                                                                                          • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                                          • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                                            • Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

                                                                                                                            • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                                              • Healing Hearts - 15-week self-paced course for individuals and couples to complete. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. 

                                                                                                                              • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                                              • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                                              • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                                              • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.
                                                                                                                                Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                                              • 57 min

                                                                                                                              About Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

                                                                                                                              From the publisher's feed

                                                                                                                              Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon (men's program director at Choose Recovery Services and founder…

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