Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

By Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint InstituteSociety & CultureRelationships
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Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute episodes

  • 16: What is Intimacy Anorexia? - With Joseph McKinley

    Do you find yourself sabotaging your relationships despite wanting intimacy? This week Luke welcomes Joseph McKinley, a fellow Choose Recovery Services coach, and together they discuss the topic of intimacy anorexia. 

    Learn what is meant by intimacy anorexia, common signs, root causes, and practical steps to overcome this pattern. This episode is an important listen for anyone seeking to overcome self-imposed barriers to intimacy and to build healthier relationships.

    Takeaways

    • Intimacy anorexia is intentionally withholding physical, emotional, or spiritual intimacy.

    • Common signs include blame shifting, withholding love and/or sex, and busyness.

    • Group support can help individuals practice vulnerability safely.

    • Patience and partner sensitivity are crucial in recovery.

    • Chapters

      • 01:11 Introduction of Joseph McKinley

      • 02:46 Understanding Intimacy Anorexia

      • 08:09 Signs and Symptoms

      • 13:45 Root Causes and Emotional Impact

      • 17:05 Steps to Overcome Intimacy Anorexia

      • Learn more about Joseph and book a complimentary consult.

        Don’t Miss Out!

        • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

        • Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

        • Connect With Us:

          • Learn more about Luke here. 

          • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

          • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

            • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

            • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

            • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

            • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

            • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

              • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. We also have a NEW 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

                  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                  • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                  • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                  • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                  • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                    25 min
                  • 15: Fifty Shades of Gray

                    Do you find yourself trapped in all or nothing thought patterns? This week Luke examines black and white thinking and its impact on our relationships. 

                    Learn practical strategies to embrace the complexities of life, challenge your thought patterns, and appreciate all of the shades of gray that are found when you are able to free yourself from thinking only in black and white.

                    Takeaways

                    • Black and white thinking is a common cognitive distortion.

                    • Embracing ambiguity brings benefits like flexibility and resilience.

                    • Strategies to overcome include mindfulness and challenging thoughts.

                    • Identify, challenge, replace, and practice new beliefs.

                    • Chapters

                      • 01:17 The Metaphor of Fifty Shades of Gray

                      • 01:55 Understanding Black and White Thinking

                      • 05:14 Why We Think in Black and White

                      • 07:11 Embracing Complexity and Gray Areas

                      • 09:42 Strategies to Overcome Black and White Thinking

                      • Don’t Miss Out!

                        • Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                        • Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

                        • Connect With Us:

                          • Learn more about Luke here. 

                          • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                          • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                            • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                            • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                            • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                            • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                            • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                              • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. We also have a NEW 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

                                  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                  • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                  • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                  • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                  • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                    14 min
                                  • 14: Boundaries and Barriers - With Laura Fisher

                                    This week Luke welcomes Laura Fisher, a Choose Recovery Services coach, as they explore the intricate dynamics of setting boundaries in relationships. Listen in as Laura shares her powerful fence analogy and explains what boundaries are meant to accomplish in relationships. 

                                    Find out how to create more safety, rebuild trust, and the importance of consistent, honest behavior in healing partnerships.

                                    Learn more about Laura and book a complimentary consultation with her HERE.

                                    Takeaways

                                    • Boundaries protect the relationship, not push partners away.

                                    • Boundaries are about preserving core values and rights.

                                    • Learn to recognize the need behind the boundary.

                                    • Consistency over time is crucial for rebuilding trust.

                                    • The betrayer can create barriers to manage their own behaviors.

                                    • Chapters

                                      • 02:18 The Fence Analogy

                                      • 04:22 Defining Boundaries and Their Importance

                                      • 06:54 Men’s Perspective on Boundaries

                                      • 13:03 Challenges and Misconceptions

                                      • 17:58 Effort vs Outcome

                                      • 22:26 Safety and Validation

                                      • 30:39 Create Barriers to Provide Safety

                                      • Don’t Miss Out!

                                        • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                        • Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

                                        • Connect With Us:

                                          • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                          • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                          • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                            • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                            • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                            • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                            • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                            • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                              • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                • Healing Hearts - NEW 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

                                                  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                  • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                  • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                  • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                  • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                    36 min
                                                  • 13: What is the Window of Tolerance? - With Ramneek Bhogal

                                                    Ever feel like your emotional reaction doesn’t match the situation you’re in either because you’re panicking and lashing out or because you’re numbing out and shutting down? Join Luke and his guest, Dr. Ramneek Bhogal, as they define what the window of tolerance is and how staying in this window can help you relate to others in the optimal state of emotional availability.

                                                    Listen to learn how to recognize the different states of emotional arousal and to discover strategies for expanding your window of tolerance, ultimately leading to better communication and intimacy in your relationships.

                                                    Referenced in this episode:

                                                    • To view the slides referenced in this episode, watch the YouTube video

                                                    • No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover

                                                    • Learn more about Dr. Ramneek Bhogal

                                                    • Takeaways

                                                      • The window of tolerance is where we can think clearly and feel emotions appropriately.

                                                      • Hyperarousal (fight/flight) and hypo-arousal (freeze/fawn) are states outside this window.

                                                      • Betrayal trauma can significantly narrow your window of tolerance.

                                                      • Learning how to increase your window of tolerance can help you connect more meaningfully with others.

                                                      • Chapters

                                                        • 01:18 Introducing Guest Ramneek Bhogal

                                                        • 03:57 Concept of Window of Tolerance

                                                        • 04:49 Hyperarousal vs. Hypoarousal

                                                        • 05:34 Physiological Insights on Stress

                                                        • 12:31 Recognizing and Managing Emotional States

                                                        • 24:03 Tools to Stay in the Window of Tolerance

                                                        • Don’t Miss Out!

                                                          • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                          • Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

                                                          • Connect With Us:

                                                            • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                            • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                            • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                            • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                              • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                              • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. 

                                                                • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. 

                                                                • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                    • Healing Hearts - Group for couples seeking healing after betrayal. We also have a NEW self-paced, 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

                                                                      • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                      • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                      • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                      • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                      • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                        36 min
                                                                      • 12: Do the Opposite

                                                                        Sometimes the way forward involves doing the opposite of what you want to do. Discover how this practice might be the key to breaking free from destructive patterns and embracing lasting change. 

                                                                        Learn how chasing fear and leaning into discomfort can accelerate your recovery and personal growth, empowering you to take bold steps towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.

                                                                        Takeaways

                                                                        • Change occurs in six stages

                                                                        • Doing the opposite of what you think you should do can be transformative.

                                                                        • True change begins when you can no longer tolerate your current situation.

                                                                        • Challenging your perceived limits can reveal untapped potential.

                                                                        • Chapters

                                                                          • 01:02 The Simplified Advice: Do the Opposite

                                                                          • 01:38 Understanding the Development Stage

                                                                          • 04:27 The Crisis and Decision Stage

                                                                          • 06:51 The Shock Stage

                                                                          • 07:29 The Grief Stage

                                                                          • 07:56 Repair and Growth Stages

                                                                          • 09:31 Chase the Fear

                                                                          • Don’t Miss Out!

                                                                            • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity for Men⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                            • Revive and Thrive: Betrayal Trauma Intensive for Women - This four-day retreat offers a sanctuary for those healing from betrayal trauma, combining expert-led classes, somatic practices, and supportive community connections. Learn to reconnect with your body, process your trauma, and build resilience. Join us August 21-24, 2024 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Register HERE.

                                                                            • Connect With Us:

                                                                              • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                              • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                              • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                              • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                  • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                                  • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                  • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                    • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                      • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. We also have a NEW self-paced, 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

                                                                                        • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                        • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                        • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                        • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                                                        • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                          14 min
                                                                                        • 11: When Will We Move Past the Pain? - With Sy Bee

                                                                                          Ever wondered when your partner will stop bringing up the same pain? Join Luke and his guest, fellow Choose Recovery Services coach Sy Bee, as they dive into the importance of empathy and getting curious. 

                                                                                          Learn how to truly be present, stay curious, and foster deep connections with your partner. This episode is a must-listen for those eager to understand and improve their journey in relational healing.

                                                                                          Takeaways

                                                                                          • The CAVR technique is curiosity, acknowledge, validate, reassure.

                                                                                          • Curiosity is not about finding solutions, but about understanding and connection.

                                                                                          • A partner sharing their pain is a vulnerable attempt at connection.

                                                                                          • Listening and being curious is crucial in connected relationships.

                                                                                          • Chapters

                                                                                            • 01:05 Introducing Guest Sy Bee

                                                                                            • 04:02 The Car Story: A Lesson in Empathy

                                                                                            • 11:53 The CAVR Tool

                                                                                            • 15:10 Getting Curious: Practical Examples

                                                                                            • 25:44 The Importance of Repetition and Accountability

                                                                                            • Mentioned in this episode

                                                                                              • Dopamine Nation book 

                                                                                              • Don’t Miss Out!

                                                                                                • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on Sept 18th-20th, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                                                • Connect With Us:

                                                                                                  • Learn more about Sy and book a consultation here.

                                                                                                  • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                  • Schedule a complimentary consultation with Luke here.

                                                                                                  • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                  • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                    • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                                    • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                                    • Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

                                                                                                    • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                                                    • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                    • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                      • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma

                                                                                                        • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. We also have a NEW self-paced, 15-week course for individuals and couples to complete at their own pace. The course emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Find more info about the self-paced course here.

                                                                                                        • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                        • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                        • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                        • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                                                                        • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                          30 min
                                                                                                        • 10: What Does It Mean to Be "Enough"?

                                                                                                          Do you struggle to feel like you’re enough? What does that even mean anyway? This powerful episode features an intimate conversation between Luke and his guest, a man who has walked the path of self-discovery and authenticity.

                                                                                                          Join them as they reflect on what it means to be enough and how to look beyond external validation to truly embrace your own intrinsic value.

                                                                                                          Takeaways

                                                                                                          • Seeking external validation and wearing masks can lead to exhaustion and disconnection.

                                                                                                          • Separate your self-worth from your actions and others’ opinions.

                                                                                                          • Find inner validation and believe in yourself, regardless of past or future fears.

                                                                                                          • Embracing your enoughness can transform your relationship with yourself and the world.

                                                                                                          • Chapters

                                                                                                            • 00:00 Introduction

                                                                                                            • 02:34 The Message: You Matter

                                                                                                            • 03:59 Defining Worth and Value

                                                                                                            • 05:05 The Mirror Experience

                                                                                                            • 09:57 Masks and Authenticity

                                                                                                            • 15:36 The Journey to Self-Acceptance

                                                                                                            • 24:30 You Are Enough

                                                                                                            • Connect With Us:

                                                                                                              • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                              • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

                                                                                                              • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                              • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                                • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                                                • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                                                • Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

                                                                                                                • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                                                                • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                                • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                                  • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                                    • Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

                                                                                                                    • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

                                                                                                                    • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                                    • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                                    • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                                    • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                                                                                    • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                                      26 min
                                                                                                                    • 9: Embracing Failure As a Learning Experience

                                                                                                                      What can the Seattle Seahawks’ dramatic 2015 Super Bowl loss teach us about our relationship with failure? In this week’s episode, Luke illustrates how professional athletes learn from their mistakes by watching game tape. He extends this concept to our own personal development, emphasizing the need to analyze our actions, understand our failures, and grow from them.

                                                                                                                      Takeaways

                                                                                                                      • Lack of willpower is not the real problem - it’s having a messed up relationship with failure.

                                                                                                                      • Watch “game tape” and analyze failures objectively.

                                                                                                                      • Reviewing mistakes allows you to understand what led to them and how to improve.

                                                                                                                      • Process failures with coaches and mentors who can provide perspective.

                                                                                                                      • Reframe failures as opportunities to learn and evolve.

                                                                                                                      • Chapters

                                                                                                                        • 00:00 Introduction: The Willpower Myth

                                                                                                                        • 01:10 Seattle Seahawks: A Lesson in Failure

                                                                                                                        • 04:45 The Importance of Watching Game Tape

                                                                                                                        • 06:02 Learning from Failure: Personal Reflections

                                                                                                                        • 07:35 Empowerment Through Self-Awareness

                                                                                                                        • Don’t Miss This!

                                                                                                                          • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                                                                          • Connect With Us:

                                                                                                                            • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                                            • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

                                                                                                                            • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                                            • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                                              • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                                                              • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                                                              • Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

                                                                                                                              • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                                                                              • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                                              • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                                                • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                                                  • Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

                                                                                                                                  • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

                                                                                                                                  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                                                  • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                                                  • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                                                  • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                                                                                                  • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                                                    11 min
                                                                                                                                  • 8: The Art of Empathy - How to Truly Connect

                                                                                                                                    Do you ever feel like your efforts at empathy fall short? Listen in as Luke defines what empathy actually is. Instead of trying to fix someone’s painful emotions, you’ll learn how to be truly present, curious, and connected. This episode will challenge you to reevaluate how you show up for others and help you create real emotional intimacy.

                                                                                                                                    Takeaways

                                                                                                                                    • Empathy is about being present with someone’s emotions.

                                                                                                                                    • The goal of empathy is connection - making the person feel seen, heard, and validated in their emotion.

                                                                                                                                    • Sharing painful emotions is an attempt to connect - not an attack.

                                                                                                                                    • Enmeshment and the belief that we are responsible for fixing others’ emotions can hinder genuine empathy.

                                                                                                                                    • The CAVR tool can help in practicing empathy.

                                                                                                                                    • Chapters

                                                                                                                                      • 01:45 Defining Empathy

                                                                                                                                      • 04:23 Barriers to Empathy

                                                                                                                                      • 07:12 Practical Steps to Show Empathy

                                                                                                                                      • 08:59 Empathy in Difficult Situations

                                                                                                                                      • Don’t Miss This!

                                                                                                                                        • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                                                                                        • Connect With Us:

                                                                                                                                          • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                                                          • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

                                                                                                                                          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                                                          • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                                                            • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                                                                            • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                                                                            • Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

                                                                                                                                            • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                                                                                            • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                                                            • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                                                              • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                                                                • Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

                                                                                                                                                • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

                                                                                                                                                • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                                                                • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                                                                • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                                                                • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                                                                                                                • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                                                                  14 min
                                                                                                                                                • 7: Rebuilding Trust With Children After Betrayal - With Morgan Ellsworth

                                                                                                                                                  Betrayal affects your partnership in countless ways, but have you thought about the profound impact on your kids? This powerful episode brings that often overlooked perspective to light through guest Morgan Ellsworth’s personal experience and professional expertise. Morgan is a coach at Choose Recovery Services and is passionate about helping individuals process and heal from betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                                                                  Morgan provides invaluable insights into creating secure attachments and holding space for children’s emotions amidst the chaos of betrayal trauma. This is a must-listen for any parent struggling with how to show up and support their kids through this immense challenge.

                                                                                                                                                  Takeaways

                                                                                                                                                  • Children experience similar betrayal trauma emotions as the betrayed spouse.

                                                                                                                                                  • Consistency and making repairs are crucial for rebuilding trust.

                                                                                                                                                  • Meet kids where they’re at through empathy and curiosity.

                                                                                                                                                  • Allow space for kids’ anger and grief. 

                                                                                                                                                  • Chapters

                                                                                                                                                    • 02:08 Morgan’s Background

                                                                                                                                                    • 03:29 Challenges Fathers Face in Supporting Their Children

                                                                                                                                                    • 07:53 Strategies for Engaging Children

                                                                                                                                                      • 17:04 Navigating Early Recovery and Parenting

                                                                                                                                                      • 28:59 Information About Morgan’s Class Geared Toward Teens

                                                                                                                                                      • 29:52 Information About Morgan’s Class For Adult Children

                                                                                                                                                      • Learn more about Morgan and book a complimentary consultation

                                                                                                                                                        Don’t Miss This!

                                                                                                                                                        • In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

                                                                                                                                                        • Connect With Us:

                                                                                                                                                          • Learn more about Luke here. 

                                                                                                                                                          • Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

                                                                                                                                                          • Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

                                                                                                                                                          • Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

                                                                                                                                                            • Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

                                                                                                                                                            • Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

                                                                                                                                                              • Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

                                                                                                                                                              • Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

                                                                                                                                                              • Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

                                                                                                                                                                • Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

                                                                                                                                                                  • Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

                                                                                                                                                                  • Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

                                                                                                                                                                    32 min

                                                                                                                                                                  About Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

                                                                                                                                                                  From the publisher's feed

                                                                                                                                                                  Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon (men's program director at Choose Recovery Services and founder…

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