Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Separation allows space for individual healing and growth.

Separation can break codependent, unhealthy relationship patterns.

Separation allows the betrayed partner to connect back to their body and allows the betrayer to work on healing individual attachment wounds.

01:45 Luke Introduces Amie

03:32 Emotional Activation That Occurs When Considering a Separation

05:52 Tension Is Necessary During Healing

08:25 Fears Associated With Separating

09:29 Space Allows For Individual Healing

14:10 Risks and Rewards of Separation

Amie’s Website

Book a consultation

Subscribe to her Choose To Be podcast

In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

Learn more about Luke here. 

Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Help. Her. Heal - Program for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

There are four core parenting styles: permissive, firm, hostile, and loving.

Healthy boundaries are critical.

Small mindset shifts create big impacts in nurturing connections.

Introduction

01:08 Permissive vs Firm

01:35 Hostile vs Loving

02:51 Worst Combination of Traits

03:47 How This Relates to All Relationships

In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

Learn more about Luke here. 

Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

Modern society provides an overabundance of pleasurable stimuli.

Pursuing excessive pleasure causes the brain to counterbalance with pain.

Pain is not inherently bad and can lead to growth.

Dopamine is the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, addiction, and compulsive behaviors.

00:00 Introduction: Why Is This So Painful?

01:07 Dopamine Nation Insights

06:19 Boredom Is Not a Problem

07:39 Example of Embracing Less Stimuli 

11:42 Cold Plunges As a Source of Dopamine

14:39 Lean Into Pain to Grow

Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke

In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 16-18, 2024 and also July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

Learn more about Luke here. 

Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

Oxytocin is a hormone that plays a crucial role in bonding

Healthy sex involves consent, vulnerability, and connection

Men’s groups can provide a space for vulnerability and connection

Authentic relationships are formed as we are honest and vulnerable 

00:00 Introduction

01:30 Oxytocin is a Bonding Hormone

03:24 Pornography as a Shortcut to Intimacy

06:07 Healthy Forms of Oxytocin

07:44 Luke’s Personal Experience With Connection 

12:10 Men’s Groups Provide a Place for Men to Show Up and Be Real

Learn more about Luke here. 

Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 16-18, 2024 and also July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠.

Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

Physiological responses to danger can impact communication and openness.

The four trauma responses are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.

These trauma responses and coping mechanisms can stem from childhood experiences. 

Building emotional awareness is crucial for authenticity. 

00:43 Introduction: The Challenge of Honesty and Authenticity

02:15 The Four Trauma Responses

05:22 Freezing and Fawning Response Explained

09:05 Overcoming Freezing and Fawning 

Learn more about Luke here. 

Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

In-person Intensive:  ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 16-18, 2024 and also July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.

Authenticity is essential for meaningful connections.

Wearing masks to please others prevents true relationships.

Self-acceptance and vulnerability are key to personal growth.

00:00 Introduction

01:57 Love for Humans and Fear of Groups

03:45 Embarrassing Stories

05:36 Wearing Masks and Fear of Rejection

07:34 The Problem with Duplicity

10:44 Trying to Measure Up

11:41 Seeking Attachment and New Awareness

Learn more about Luke here. 

Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.

In-person Intensive:  ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 16-18, 2024 and also July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.

Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal.

Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.

Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. They will receive resources to recover from betrayal trauma while being surrounded by a supportive community.

Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery.

Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy.

Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!

Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.

Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.

Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.