Mazel Morons! Today, we’re diving into the messy science of metabolism- does it actually slow down with age, or are we just… fat? The guys debate fast vs. slow metabolisms, Michael Phelps’ 12,000-calorie diet, childhood food trauma, GLP-1s, fasting culture, and how much the brain really burns thinking (spoiler: not enough to earn a Snickers). Plus: the greatest candy of all time, the danger of gas-station Kratom, menstrual face masks (???), gay sheep couture, and relationship & parenting advice from Moron Mail. What more could you ask for? Love ya!

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