Unfortunately, and fortunately for the Bestie Gang listening, we are going to teach you some things in this episode that I desperately wish I had known sooner. That is the whole point of this show and Amy’s work: you cannot understand their behavior because you would never do it. You keep asking, “What is the point? Why would you do this? Why can’t you just be decent?” and none of it makes sense because you are not wired like someone who enjoys creating the most unsafe, emotionally brutal reality for the mother of their children.

In this Bitch Sesh with therapist and narc-recovery expert Amy Watkins, LPC, we break down the post-separation mindf*ck, the breadcrumbs of decency, the mask they wear for the new supply, the way they tell the next one you are crazy while she drinks the Kool-Aid, and how you spiral back into self-doubt, body shame, and “am I the problem?” loops.

We talk about the post-separation apocalypse and how to protect your peace when your ex wakes up every day seemingly asking, “How can I f*ck with her today?”

Trigger Warning for SA survivors: We also go deep into Lindsay's own story, including SA I did not recognize as SA at the time, caretaking after harm, walking on eggshells in every area of life, and shrinking my needs until I stopped asking for anything because everything I loved was eventually broken or weaponized against me.

In this episode, we get into:

• Post-separation abuse and why you do not even know you are in it until you are out
• How abusers flip the script: “you are crazy, you are a bitch” to the new partner
• Gaslighting, confusion, and how constant reality-twisting can genuinely make you feel like you are going insane
• Why you keep asking “Am I the problem?” after behaving in ways you do not even recognize
• Sex as a way to stay out of trouble, sexual coercion in marriage or relationships, and why that is not a healthy dynamic
• Fear as your first language: rehearsing basic needs, being terrified to ask for anything, and how that keeps you stuck
• How unhealed childhood trauma makes toxic love feel like home

For more on Amy Watkins, visit her at https://www.amywatkinsstudio.com/

We've got your back, Besties.

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit www.thehotline.org

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