Couples therapist Dr. Bruce Chalmer & his wife educator Judy Alexander talk about their book "Its Not About Communication".

They talk relationships & marriage, which is one thing that is evident when speaking to them. That they do extremely well. Their dynamic as a couple speaks for itself. Its refreshing to know we have a therapist and educator who clearly PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH!

Todays show we have a great conversation discussing what they mean by "Its Not About Communication" & Their podcast "Couples Therapy In Seven Words" which Roger & Nina will be featured on an upcoming episode. So be sure to stay tuned for that one. It should be fun.  

We hope you learn a lot from Dr Bruce Chalmer & Judy Alexander and their book.

Here are their links:

Podcast: Couples Therapy In Seven Words

Books: Its Not About Communication

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Today we dive into a few questions from our listeners. 

1. How to get over cheating in the relationship?

There are many different types of cheating. Whether its emotional or just sex. You have to figure out if you want to continue in the relationship. If you do then go all in on the healing. Get help, talk to friends, or even someone from the opposite sex, to help understand how it started and how to avoid it happening again. Not that its your fault, but. Take a deep look within. To make sure there is nothing on your side that needs fixing.

2. How do you get over losing your partner?

This one is a tough one. Although its extremely hard to lose someone you love, Someone you might have spent most of your life with. First off. Don't be afraid to grieve. Everyone understands that it hurts. Let it all out, Don't try to hold it in.

But then. You need to try to move forward. Especially if you have kids. They need you to be strong.  

When Nina lost both parents & Roger lost his dad. They would continue to talk to them when they needed it. Sometimes write them a letter or text them your thoughts. Its like they are still with you. This will help you move forward. 

In both situations. Go out there and find yourself again. They would want you to be happy in your own life.

Neither situation is easy. But getting over a break up, cheating, or death. Is a must. You can't live being a victim in these situations. You have to move on with your life, in order to enjoy the rest of it. Trust us. You are worth it.

Thanks for listening. 

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Please don't assume that your loved ones are ok. Take the time to check in on their Mental Health. This time of year can be tough with your self talk. Everyone wants to make changes over the new year. Most fail and keeping up with their goals or resolutions. So their self talk can get mean. Bills are due from Christmas. Tax season is coming and the gloomy cold January days don't help. 

Make sure to ask. Is everything ok? Is there something i can help you with? What are you working on? Or just work on cheering them up.

You never know what someone is putting them self through. So be there for them. 

Please take the time this month to reach out to your loved ones. Call Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Siblings, Or your friends. You never know. You could impact their life forever.

I truly hope you are doing well. If you yourself need cheering up. Then come join us on our TIKTok lives. We doour very best to entertain & we have a great community that would be glad to help.

Or even play the ABC Challenge. It will bring you some laughs. 

Thank you

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Sometimes you have to go far to bring us closer together.

Bring A little adventure in your relationship!

After  a 20 Hr Road Trip to Miami with the kids and dog. We noticed how it brought our kids closer together. It brought us closer together. 

We didn't fixate on what time we will get there, The traffic, the weather, or how many stops we can do. Heck we couldn't even find  decent hotel that had rooms or allowed dogs. We had to stay in complete dives. We had to eat what was available on the way. Junk Food!!! 

It was about the experience and the adventure.

We try to do these things with our kids now, cause they will be to cool to hang out with us soon.

If a road trip isn't something you are not able or interested in doing. Then find something that suits your situation and needs to add a little adventure in your relationships with you partner and or kids.

Make it fun, not stressful. Don't be to attached to the outcome. Its about the fun and adventure. Not how long it takes or whether it turns out as planned. The journey not the destination.  

Tell us about your adventure.

Message us on any of the links below.

Our Links:

Free: Nina's 1 week of clean eating E-Book

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New Year is upon us and its time to up that 50-50 relationship to 100-100. or close to it anyway. Because giving 50% might not be enough. After all  you get what you give, so why not give more.

If you really look at your relationship. You will know what its missing. Or at least what you are missing. time to up your percentage and make it the relationship you strive for. We want you to be 2023 couples goals.

Find some ideas to make it better or use some of our examples. 

Hope you like the episode. If you do. Please help us by sharing it with people who you think can benefit and let us know how it helped you by leaving a review on apple or anywhere in our social media.

Thank you. 

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Holidays are creeping up fast! We did our annual shopping spree. Where we get a few gifts for the kids, but most of all we go shopping for the things we want. Its a fun little way to get the stressful shopping part out of the way. 

We start by getting dressed up. then having a little lunch and maybe a bottle of wine. Then we head off store hopping. He doesn't like the shopping as much as she does. But this way we both have fun doing it.

Ikea!!!! One of the things on Nina's list was a new closet for Christmas.  So Roger Got to work with Ninas help of course. lol.

They both went to work taring apart the old, patching holes, & painting. Then started the tedious task of building this Ikea closet! If you want to test your patience in your relationship, try putting one of these ikea items together with your partner.  It will make or break you. 

Let us know how it goes for you.

Our Links:

Free: Nina's 1 week of clean eating E-Book

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DECEMBER!!! 

December can be very stressful. With Holiday shopping, worrying about money, time to shop, work, end of year quotas, to much family, or lack of family.

With all those stresses... Don't forget to Bring On The Joy!

Nina and I discuss some of our favorite ways to bring that joy back to the holiday season. 

Everything from sex, sleep, and exercise. 

Let us know if you have any fun special things that will help you get your joy on.

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Stress is a temporary state of mind. When you are stressed you need to change your mindset.

If your spouse is stressed. Lets not add to it. Lets help relieve that stress! 

Help fix your mindset with fun things to take your mind off the day to day stresses. Laugh a little, make each other laugh,  have fun, do  all the little things you can think of to make you smile.

 Cause stress is only a temporary state of mind, unless you allow it to be more.

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True love works

It will make you work on yourself

It will make you  work on your relationship

It will make you work on your communication styles 

It will make you work on your tone

It will make you work on being home on time

It will make you work on cooking

It will make you work on cleaning

True love actually works

It it’s not only feeling. It’s an action

We've been doing it for 25 yrs.

Our love works for each other. 

We work at this,

We don’t just wake up every morning we I’m love. We work at it. And have been working at it for 25

That’s why our relationship is so good.

But when you don’t work 

It doesn’t work

Create your love life and make it work for you.

Live actively with purpose instead of accepting life as is.

Chase down your dream together.

Plan your family dynamic, make

changes if need to. 

Understanding that things won’t always workout In your

favor and that’s ok better things will come instead. They always do. 

Our Links:

Free: Nina's 1 week of clean eating E-Book

Headoverheelsshow.com

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Insta Nina @NinaKako  Roger @roger_guertin

Facebook @headoverheelsshow

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Are You Constantly Competing???

While communication is very important. Studies show that COMPITION is the number 1 relationship killer. Are you competing with your spouse on a regular. Do you feel that you are contributing more around the house? Or do you find yourself upset at your spouse just because you are doing something and their not? Do you bring in more money and judge them for it? Does the word "Useless" come out under your breath? 

If so. Then you will get what you expect out of them. To the point that you expect it so much, that you subconsciously miss the good things cause you are looking only for the bad. 

Be aware that you are competing or comparing yourself to them and they are probably doing the same. If you are aware. then you can actually look for the good things. Encourage them to do better, when they are doing better. Acknowledge their GOOD not their BAD.

Lets try that for a week. See if it helps. Let us know what the outcome is. We are.

Our Links:

Free: Nina's 1 week of clean eating E-Book

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Insta Nina @NinaKako  Roger @roger_guertin

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Email  [email protected]