Breakup Recovery Podcast

This is Breakup Recovery's 100th episode where I asked listeners to send in the questions that they wanted me to cover in this special episode. I shared my insights, tips and strategies on a number of topics ranging from 'how do you stop loving some one so much?', 'how do I move on', 'should I follow them on social media' and 'the importance of you'.

There are so many emotions that are going through your body after a breakup. You are possibly stuck and don't know how to move forward, that is why you are listening to this podcast or reading articles, blogs and books to help you to recover and start to feel normal again. The hurt you are feeling can be so intense, you wonder if you will ever mend your broken heart and be happy again.

I don't think it is that easy to stop loving some one, especially if you have spent a lot of time with this person. Or if you have been blindsided by the breakup, you never saw it coming. It can be very difficult to one-day stop loving the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

This question 'how do I move on' is universally asked by those that are going through a breakup. So don't feel that you are the only person questioning yourself about how can you move on after your relationship ends. There can be a number of reasons that you feel that you are not moving on or that you are not moving on the way you would like to. In this episode I share some of the top reasons that might be holding you back from moving forward and enjoying life again.

If you are checking their instagram page, snap chat, their twitter account, their face book status, every hour, I want you to ask yourself this question, 'why are you doing this?'. Are you looking for a sign that they are missing you, that their life is a mess, they are so unhappy and can't live with out you? But is this a reality, have you ever seen someone's post saying they are feeling crappy, they are a mess emotionally and they just aren't coping? How is that going to make you feel when you see them out and about with their friends?

After enduring a lengthy, stressful and difficult divorce from her sociopath husband, Stacy Brookman enrolled in a memoir class that changed her life forever. Stacy found when writing her crazy stories down on a piece of paper, she was able to gain clarity about her situation and work out the necessary steps she had to take in order to recover and move on from her breakup.

Writing out your stories after a traumatic and harrowing life situation, can give you insights into what has happened and the courage to move forward. Stacy believes that life storytelling is an incredibly powerful tool for personal transformation. Its not always about the gramma and punctuation, its about pulling the wool from over your eyes, seeing things in black and white so you can do something about your situation.

'Real life resilience' is Stacy's podcast and its mission is to tell stories of recovery from life's most difficult trauma, and by example help people with tough life situations discover how to tell their own stories.

You can find out more about Stacy, read her blogs and listen to her podcast @ www.stacybrookman.com

Jill Sockwell and her co-author Suzanne Riss were both divorced and looking for advice that was uplifting, and inspiring. Answers that were realistic and true to life that they themselves could put into place so they could navigate this challenging process called divorce. They couldn't find this advice or the resources to match their requirements, so they wrote their book 'The Optimist's Guide To Divorce', which is a 'how-to' for people going through a divorce.

Jill describes the divorce process as a marathon not a sprint and there can be a variety of solutions for the diverse challenges that divorce presents. Attitude is everything and it can be so easy to get caught up in the negatives, however if you try and look on the bright side, look for the best in this difficult situation then the process can be a little easier to deal with.

Breaking up can be an isolating experience initially so Jill and Suzanne started their Maplewood Divorce club in March 2103 so that women could come together and support and help each other through the challenging and testing process.

One tip that Jill would offer women going through a divorce is that it's going to get better and look for ways to grown and change for the better from this difficult experience, some days are going to be better than others. Choose to look for the positives and one way to do this is to start a gratitude journal, even when you are not feeling amazing or ok, looking back over what you have written, all the good that is happening in your life will lift your mood

You can purchase the book 'The Optimist's Guide To Divorce' @ www.optimistsguidetodivorce.com and follow on Facebook @optimistsguidetodivorce

Orion went through her own dark moments in life after her breakup from a very abuse partner. She was in a state of depression that lasted years until she found her own way to mend her heart and regain her strength. One of the strategies Orion shared in this podcast was mirror work. A very powerful approach that boosts your self-confidence and increases the love for yourself.

Orion also explored some of the mistakes that single women can make when looking for love again, as well as the importants of self-care and reconnecting to you feminine side. Orion suggested when reconnecting to your spiritual side it is essential to do so from a place of love rather than from a place of fear.

You can connect with Orion Talmay and find about more of what she has to offer and download her eBook 'How to become a love magnet' @ orionsmethod.com

Stephanie Dalfonzo offers some practical exercises that can quickly break up and change habits that are causing you to feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. Using these simple yet effective strategies and techniques can help bring you out of depression and into the present moment. Doing things differently does not have to be complicated, long or big, they just have to be of value. Like the restorative yoga pose of legs up the wall, even thought it's a passive pose, combine it with controlled breathing helps lower anxiety and stress and calms the body.

In this episode Stephanie shares real stories and antidotes and guides you through techniques that will release tension and help you to feel better both physically and emotionally. When you are in absolute overwhelm it can be difficult to change your habits but Stephanie has broken these habits into small bite size achievable routines. Stephanie's website is stephaniedalfonzo.com

Accepting that your relationship is over and making the necessary adjustments to your life can be difficult. It's human nature to resist change and to cling to comfort. However the more you resist the breakup, the harder it will be to heal and move on and the easier it will be to fall into depression and anxiety. Learning how to accept a breakup you didn't want or expect doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to being single or unhappy for the rest of your life. In this episode I offer some tips and ideas for you to take action and reclaim your identity so you can experience a bright future, heal and move on after your breakup.

Karen Covy is a divorce advisor, mediator, lawyer and divorce coach and her number one tip for people who are going through a divorce is to understand and educate yourself on what you are facing at the front end of your breakup so you will make better decisions during the process. In this episode Karen also shares the top three fears people experience when they are going through their breakups. Fear of not having enough money, fear of how the breakup will affect the children and fear that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. Karen also explores why you should set a goal or an outcome for what you want at the end the breakup process so you can better negotiate and accomplish what you set out to achieve by focusing on what is important to you. Karen's website is

https://karencovy.com

Julia's number one tip for women who have broken up with their partners is to join a single parent or a single mum's group. These groups will give you insights and help and support you through and beyond your breakup. Julia's podcast is another great resource for single parents and was created to assist newly single mothers in all things they need to know about been single. Subjects range from sex, dating and relationships, helping your children through the separation, interviews with other inspirational single mums and why been a single mum is amazing. Find out more about Julia, her blog and her podcast @ http://www.singlemothersurvivalguide.com

Men often pretend that everything is ok when they are going through a breakup. They don't want others to know that they are in fact hurting and unhappy and their life is a misery. Their world is falling apart and the negative and unhelpful story they are telling themselves will only keep them from moving forward. Otto explains that if you can sit with your emotions and feel them, don't push them away of bury them they will pass. In time you will realise that the healing has begun, you are more present in conversations, you want to join your friends in activities, you start to smile more and want more from life. You can connect with Otto @ www.susieandotto.com

Living through a breakup can be stressful, it can be daunting and it can be emotionally draining. Your thoughts are overwhelming as you struggle to think of positives in your life. So how do you pick yourself up after your breakup, how do you dig yourself out of the big dark hole you find yourself in? How can you change the negative story you keep telling yourself? In this episode I offer suggestion to do just that, to change the way you think and act, to bring happiness and joy back in your life. You can either stay in the depths of despair or you can climb back out and reclaim the life you want and deserve.