Brilliant Balance

Have you ever finally done something you've been putting off and immediately wondered, Why did I wait so long?

In this episode, I'm exploring what avoidance really is and why so many of us stay stuck, even when we know exactly what we need to do. From difficult conversations and health decisions to everyday life admin, avoidance often looks like being busy or waiting for the "right time." But underneath it is usually something else.

If there's something you've been circling for weeks, months, or even years, this episode will help you understand what's keeping you stuck and how to start moving forward.

Show Highlights:

• The personal health decision I avoided for years and what finally changed. [04:30]

• Why avoidance is more than procrastination. [14:10]

• The hidden emotional cost of putting things off. [20:45]

• Why difficult conversations rarely get easier with time. [27:15]

• The surprising ways avoidance shows up in parenting, health, and everyday life. [36:50]

• How the "complexity illusion" keeps us from taking action. [47:20]

• Why the things we avoid are often easier than we imagine. [55:40]

• What avoidance teaches us about ourselves and why it always comes with a price. [1:02:30]

• One simple question that can help you take your next step. [1:08:10]

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore

Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

What makes someone command a room? It isn't having the perfect script.

In this episode, I'm sharing what I've learned from hundreds of speaking engagements, including the biggest mistake I made at my very first live event. It taught me that presence doesn't come from memorizing every word. It comes from connection.

Whether you're leading a meeting, giving a presentation, interviewing for a job, or stepping onto a stage, these lessons will help you communicate with more confidence, connect more naturally, and hold the room without trying to perform.

Show Highlights:

• The painful lesson from my first live event and what it taught me about presence. [04:20]

• Why speaking is always a two-way conversation. [16:15]

• The audience signals every speaker should learn to recognize. [23:40]

• How to stop letting one disengaged person steal your attention. [32:10]

• Why connection should come before credentialing. [37:55]

• The hidden cost of over-scripting your message. [46:20]

• How to prepare for high-stakes moments without memorizing every word. [55:10]

• Simple ways to calm your nervous system before you speak. [1:02:45]

• The habits that help you show up with more confidence and presence. [1:09:30]

Planning an event? Learn more about booking Cherylanne for keynotes, workshops, coaching roundtables, and fireside chats: https://brilliant-balance.com/speaking

To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox:

https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

Can you be both warm and ambitious? Kind and confident? Supportive and successful?

In this episode, I'm joined by organizational psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Alison Fragale to talk about why women often feel like they have to choose between being liked and being respected. We unpack the science behind status, influence, and reciprocity, and why the most successful women learn to build both warmth and confidence at the same time.

If you've ever worried about being "too nice" or "too much," this conversation will change the way you think about leadership, relationships, and the way people experience you.

Show Highlights:

• How Alison's childhood shaped her understanding of warmth and assertiveness. [06:10]

• Why being liked is one of the most overlooked sources of influence. [15:20]

• The difference between status, power, and respect. [27:45]

• What it really means to be a "Likeable Badass." [33:30]

• Why women don't have to choose between confidence and connection. [43:15]

• The surprising truth behind feedback like "you're too nice" or "you're too aggressive." [53:40]

• Practical ways to build stronger relationships without feeling transactional. [1:08:10]

• Simple daily habits that strengthen your network over time. [1:17:20]

• Alison's favorite status-building practice that anyone can start today. [1:24:40]

Order your copy of Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve by Dr. Alison Fragale :

Paperback: https://amzn.to/4vgAMQw

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To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox:

https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

Have you ever tried to do something good for yourself, only to feel guilty the second someone else had a reaction to it? In this episode, I'm answering listener questions about what happens when self-care becomes visible and the people around us have feelings about it.

I'm talking about morning workouts, girls' trips, hobbies, and the guilt that can show up when we start making room for ourselves. Underneath each question is a deeper one: how do I get my own needs met without feeling like the villain in someone else's story?

This episode is for you if you're ready to protect the practices that help you feel like yourself, without over-explaining, hiding, or asking for permission.

Show Highlights:

● Why visible self-care can feel so complicated. [02:02]

● The listener question behind this Dear Cherylanne episode. [03:34]

● Why self-care does not need to become a debate. [12:12]

● How to handle guilt around time away. [18:58]

● The difference between privacy and secrecy. [27:04]

● Why hobbies deserve space in a full life. [31:30]

● How guilt changes as kids get older. [33:12]

● The difference between guilt, judgment, and grief. [40:52]

● What it means to be strategically selfish. [45:08]

Submit a Dear Cherylanne question: https://brilliant-balance.com/dear-cherylanne

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Every Mother's Day, I see the same message on cards: Thank you for giving up everything for us.

But the cards my own kids write tell a different story.

In this episode, I'm talking about what we're teaching the people around us when we treat ourselves like we don't matter. I unpack the Type C pattern, why being endlessly capable gets rewarded, and the cost of always putting yourself last.

This is not about self-care days or finding more time. It's about making room for the things that matter to you, even in small ways.

Because people learn from what we do, not just what we say.

Show Highlights:

• The pattern I keep noticing in the Mother's Day card aisle. [01:30]

• What my kids' handwritten cards taught me instead. [05:15]

• The Type C personality and why the world rewards it. [11:40]

• What kids actually absorb when they watch us disappear. [16:20]

• Why I'm not telling you to go get a massage. [22:10]

• What microdosing your own needs really looks like. [25:45]

• Real examples from my own porch, my workouts, and my travel. [29:30]

• Why strategic selfishness might be the most generous thing you can model. [34:50]

To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

How do you grow your career and your family at the same time without losing yourself in the process? In this episode, I'm exploring why that question feels so familiar to high-achieving women.

I'm talking about the invisible math of work, home, and you, and why your own needs are often the first to get squeezed out. Instead of waiting to see what's left after everyone else gets your time and energy, I'm inviting you to protect space for what helps you feel healthy, whole, and human.

This episode is for you if you're ready to stop putting yourself last and start making room for yourself in the middle of a full life.

Show Highlights:

● The core question so many working mothers are trying to solve. [01:02] ● Why "losing yourself" is often the missing part of work-life balance. [03:10] ● The invisible math of work, home, and you. [05:04] ● How your own needs slowly get crowded out. [06:42] ● The mental model that keeps women at the bottom of the list. [13:15] ● What happens when you protect your own non-negotiables. [16:28] ● How Parkinson's Law explains the way work fills available time. [18:42] ● Why constraints can create clarity and better choices. [22:10] ● A client story about making room for a more spacious season. [26:28] ● The question that helps you work backward from what you truly want. [30:38] ● How to begin making room for what makes you feel like yourself. [38:52]

To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

Do you ever feel like you're measuring yourself against an invisible standard of what a "good mother" should be? In this episode, I'm unpacking the unwritten rulebook so many mothers follow without even realizing it.

I'm sharing a personal story from my son's preschool years that triggered a shame spiral over something he doesn't even remember. That moment helped me see how many standards I had absorbed from childhood, culture, comparison, and expectations I never consciously chose.

Today, I'm inviting you to look at your own Good Mother Rulebook, decide which rules truly reflect your values, and release the ones creating unnecessary guilt or pressure.

Show Highlights:

● The invisible Good Mother Rulebook most of us are following. [00:38] ● My preschool picture day story. [02:38] ● Why one forgotten moment felt like a parenting failure. [07:18] ● The difference between embarrassment and shame. [08:03] ● How motherhood standards become internalized over time. [11:22] ● Why high achievers are especially vulnerable to unwritten rules. [13:58] ● Where our ideas of "good mothering" often come from. [15:28] ● How comparison quietly shapes our personal rulebooks. [18:26] ● Examples of rules you may be carrying without realizing it. [20:04] ● Why most motherhood rules are more negotiable than they feel. [21:18] ● Three steps to uncover and rewrite your own rulebook. [23:48] ● Choosing standards that reflect your values instead of inherited pressure. [28:03] ● The few things in motherhood that are truly non-negotiable. [29:05]

To register for the Couples Workshop, click here: https://members.brilliantbalance.net/couplesworkshop

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox:

https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

It turns out I'm carrying an invisible operating system that runs beneath the surface of my entire life, and chances are, you are too.

This one is for the women who are tired. Not just physically, but tired of carrying so much that nobody else can even see. I explore why the people around us aren't oblivious on purpose, and what we can actually do to close the gap between how much we're doing and how little of it is seen.

Show Highlights:

• The invisible mental checklist no one else knows is running. [02:10]

• Why the people around you aren't lazy, they just can't see it. [08:45]

• Where resentment quietly grows. [11:20]

• Step one: making the invisible visible, to yourself first. [16:05]

• Step two: giving yourself credit before anyone else does. [20:30]

• Step three: getting honest about what you actually want. [23:15]

• Handing off systems, not just tasks. [27:00]

• How to start the conversation even when it feels impossible. [31:40]

To register for the Couples Workshop, click here: https://members.brilliantbalance.net/couplesworkshop

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox:

https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

Have you ever abandoned a goal entirely because you couldn't pursue it perfectly?

In this honest and deeply personal episode, Cherylanne pulls back the curtain on her own all-or-nothing pattern and helps you find your own.

This episode names the trap clearly: dichotomous thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, is one of the most common cognitive distortions identified in psychology. Cherylanne unpacks the three root causes: our evolutionary wiring for binary decisions, the standards we absorbed growing up, and socially prescribed perfectionism, and explains why high achievers are specially prone to this pattern. Most importantly, she shares what she is actually doing about it, and how you can begin to do the same. If there is a dream, practice, or project you have put off because you couldn't do it exactly right, this episode is for you. Show Highlights:

● The book Cherylanne has wanted to write for most of her adult life and why she hasn't done it yet. [01:15]

● How all-or-nothing thinking shows up in fitness and meal planning. [07:30]

● What dichotomous thinking is and where it comes from in psychology. [13:02]

● Cause #1: The evolutionary roots of binary thinking. [14:10]

● Cause #2: The standards we internalized growing up. [16:35]

● Cause #3: Socially prescribed perfectionism and the imagined audience. [19:20]

● Why "if I can't do it right, why bother?" has such a high cost. [22:45]

● What Cherylanne is actually doing now—the Substack, the outline, the chapters. [25:10]

● Why imperfect action creates momentum that doing nothing never will. [27:40]

● Finding your own "book"—and what exists between perfect and nothing. [30:00]

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly

Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Substack: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

Ever feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your own shoulders—handling every email, project, and task yourself? I've been there, telling myself it was the smart and responsible way to run my business, until I realized what I was missing out on by not letting go.

In this episode, I'm revealing exactly what happens when you stop doing everything yourself and start getting results through others. We'll talk about how this shift can give you precious time back, multiply your impact, and create new opportunities—not just for you, but for everyone on your team and in your life.

By leveraging others and learning to trust, we're able to embrace new possibilities. If you're ready for bigger results and a richer life, this episode is for you!

Show Highlights:

• Solo startup narratives of handling all tasks yourself. [00:48]

• The risk of operating alone becoming a habit and identity. [02:58]

• My epiphany of A. G. Lafley leading P&G by leveraging others. [04:08]

• Why delegation is essential in both teams and homes. [07:26]

• The power of reclaiming specialist time with a client example. [09: 21]

• How effective leaders delegate and multiply impact. [15:22]

• Outsourcing tasks in personal life—but which ones? [18:36]

• Giving others opportunities by delegating meaningful work. [20:11]

• The transformation of who you become by letting go. [24:20]

• What are your emotional barriers to delegating and outsourcing? [27:45]

• Join The Coaching Circle's June master class on delegation. [29:09]

Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle

Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly

Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki