CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

In this episode, Whitney shares the findings from a survey of 2382 estranged adult children. She offers a deep dive into why many distance themselves from their parents. The survey reveals common themes such as unresolved conflict, emotional or physical harm, and the lasting impact of difficult childhood experiences, where self-preservation sometimes means breaking away.

• [07:40] A breakdown of the findings from the 2382 estranged adult children survey
• [25:20] The responses and how they reflect and align with our experiences 
• [26:04] A preview of part 3 and what to look forward to 

• “If your parent harmed you or you continue to be harmed by them, you have a right to protect yourself in the same way you do in other harmful or abusive relationships.” [03:52]
• “Parent and adult children, if they choose to have contact, both have a responsibility to show up as respective civil adults.” [04:05]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok. 

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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This is Part 1 of a 3 Part Series on Adult Child and Parent estrangement. In this episode, Whitney discusses the findings from a survey of 204 estranged parents. You will hear how this group of parents feels about their estrangement from their adult child, what they're willing to do to fix the relationship, and if therapists and social media really are the cause of it all.

The responses from these parents reflect experiences and stories that resonate deeply with many who have faced the pain of family separation. They share their emotional struggles, expressing feelings of loss, confusion, and helplessness as they try to understand why their adult children have distanced themselves. These shared experiences highlight broader patterns in family dynamics, showing that estrangement is a complex yet relatable issue that touches many lives. We can learn a lot from the parents who were willing to share their experiences for this episode.

• [09:14] About the survey and how Whitney collected the data 
• [14:50] A breakdown of the findings from the survey of 204 estranged parents 
• [39:32] The responses and how they reflect our experiences and stories 
• [40:54] What to expect and look forward to in Part 2

• "Adult children have a lifetime of experience under their parent care; for a minimum of 18 years, the parent has power over them, and this power differential never completely goes away.” [03:13]
• “Parents should attempt to be strong, steady leaders even when their children are adults.” [03:35]
• “Adults are entitled to have and end relationships with whoever they want to have relationship with, parents and adult children both have this right in adulthood, no matter how painful that is.” [03:41]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok. 

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this conversation, Whitney Goodman answers two caller questions about the complexities of estrangement and the challenges of communicating with parents. She emphasizes the importance of self-protection, setting boundaries, and understanding the dynamics of parent-child relationships.

Goodman also discusses the need for accountability and emotional intelligence in reconciliation efforts while acknowledging that not all relationships can or should be repaired. The conversation provides insights into how individuals can navigate their feelings and expectations when dealing with estrangement and communication with parents.

Chapters

00:00 Navigating Estrangement: Understanding the Need for Communication

06:50 Setting Boundaries: The Importance of Self-Protection

10:01 The Complexity of Parent-Child Relationships

15:36 Protocols for Reconciliation: When to Seek Help

Quotes

• "I think we should always try to explain ourselves."
• "You have to be doing this because it's something that you want to do."
• "You don't have to forgive your parent."

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join The Calling Home Family Cyclebreakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at www.CallingHome.co.

IG: @sitwithwhit

TikTok: @whitneygoodmanlmft

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Family estrangement and going no contact are deeply painful and complex experiences that impact both adult children and their parents. Often rooted in unresolved childhood trauma, unmet emotional needs, or longstanding power dynamics, estrangement reflects a significant breakdown in communication and trust within the family. Adult children may choose to distance themselves as a means of self-preservation or to heal from past harm, while parents may struggle to understand or accept these boundaries. Navigating this estrangement requires compassion, reflection, and, often, the willingness to embrace change. Letting go of traditional power structures in parent-child relationships and learning to relate as equals can open the door to healing and, in some cases, reconciliation. However, when reconciliation is not possible, it’s important to acknowledge the grief of disconnection and focus on personal growth and emotional well-being. 

In this episode, we discuss adult-child relationships, family estrangement, and how to navigate these disconnections with a special guest, Patrick Teahan. Patrick is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW), childhood trauma specialist, and advocate for the Relationship Recovery Process therapy model. As a survivor of childhood trauma, Patrick brings both professional expertise and personal experience to the conversation to provide practical advice on letting go of power struggles, navigating grief when going no contact, and how both sides can work towards mutual understanding and growth. 

Join us as we unpack these sensitive issues and explore pathways toward healing!

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show with Patrick Teahan
• [02:39] Patrick’s experience in the parent and adult-child relationship space
• [07:39] The disconnect and what is happening in the parent-adult-child relationships
• [09:28] What trauma and abuse is and parental defense shame
• [14:05] How to fix relationships with estranged children
• [19:53] Relating as equals and how parent-children relationships change over time 
• [26:22] Working on yourself and accepting your parent for who they are
• [30:11] How to navigate the grief of going no contact 
• [35:54] The healing side of lack of connectivity and feeling estranged 
• [38:24] How to reach out and connect with Patrick 
• [39:16] Wrap up and end of the show

• “Abuse is anything that is less than nurture.” [09:37]
• “When a parent is self-righteous, it’s a sign of being massively triggered; you can’t teach someone who is defensive and triggered about human development.” [12:13]
• “You’re not going to die if you’re faulted; you’re not a bad person; what is going to fix the relationship with your children is to be open and admit some things were wrong.” [14:22]
• 
  

Website: https://www.patrickteahantherapy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickteahanofficial/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@patrickteahanofficial

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok. 

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Surviving family holidays can be difficult when you are estranged or have unresolved tensions with your family. Holidays and events can bring deep-seated conflicts to the surface. The pressure to maintain peace can be overwhelming, especially when you're masking feelings of distrust and hurt. Navigating these relationships requires setting firm boundaries while managing the expectations of family members.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers real questions from callers who are having difficulties with their moms and siblings. She provides insights on how to handle estranged relationships, the strain of pretending everything is fine, and the emotional toll of unresolved conflicts. Whitney also offers strategies for maintaining peace during holidays or events, setting boundaries, and managing the pressure to keep everyone happy. 

• [00:01] Intro and what you will learn
• [00:29] How to handle dysfunction and pretending among family members 
• [04:56] How to navigate family events and holidays when estranged 
• [07:09] Calling Home resources for building new traditions
• [07:56] Prioritizing your own needs when you're with family

• “Pretending is so hard; pretending that everything is fine when it isn't or your trust or boundary was violated is so really difficult.” [01:41]
• “Stop trying to make your family be what it was or what you wish it would be, instead find a way to cope and enjoy what you can in the moment.” [07:31]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok. 

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Who should be in the delivery room?

In today’s episode, you will learn why having that conversation with yourself and other family members is critical, especially if you are an expectant mother. Whitney covers why each generations has a different perception and expectation about being in the delivery rooms. Older women, for example, believe they should be allowed in the room while their grandchild is being born while Gen Z mothers feel that they are 100% responsible for choosing who should be let in. What do you think? Let me know after listening to this episode of Calling Home.

Tune in!

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show 
• [00:31] Who should be in the delivery room?
• [00:59] What do women of older generations feel about it vs Gen Z mothers?
• [02:32] Stories from several women 
• [03:41] The different family dynamics and preferences
• [04:26] Factors to consider when making this decision
• [04:50] #Understand that birth is not a spectator sport
• [06:14] #Embrace open communication and set clear boundaries
• [07:27] # Consider cultural norms and personal beliefs
• [10:12] Questions to ask yourself before you get anyone to the delivery room
• [13:12] Wrap up and end of the show

• “Millenials and young Gen Z mothers believe that the person giving birth should 100% decide who gets in the delivery room.” [01:38]
• “The debate of who can be allowed in the delivery room should be a personal decision that should depend on a person’s preferences and family dynamics.” [04:08]
• “Birth is not a spectator sport. It is a medical procedure that is vulnerable, and you need someone close to you to offer support, care and guidance.” [04:50]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Accepting what Is and managing your relationship with parents who may never apologize or change their behavior is not an easy path. It requires a deep level of acceptance, acknowledging that your parents might not become the people you wish they were, and understanding that healing begins with accepting the situation as it is, not as you hope it would be. The path also involves setting boundaries that protect your emotional well-being while allowing space for the relationship to evolve. Whether you choose to continue contact or distance yourself, the focus should be on what serves your growth and peace. Accepting what is doesn't mean giving up; it means recognizing the limits of what your parents can offer and deciding how to move forward in a way that honors your own needs.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers real questions from callers about how to respond to parents who initiate contact, particularly when past behaviors have caused emotional pain with self-compassion, acceptance, and choosing a path that aligns with personal healing.

Tune in!

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show 
• [00:29] How to respond when a parent initiates contact without apologizing
• [05:41] Accepting your parents: What they did, who they are, and what they can offer
• [09:06] Accepting your parent resources 
• [09:23] Walking the path of what was and is with acceptance 
• [11:57] Wrap up and end of the show

• “You are allowed to feel the way you are feeling about it; you are allowed to give yourself time to process those feelings and decide what change you need to make from there.” [05:19]
• “There is no right path, but the path to healing starts with accepting what is, what your parent did, and what they can do.” [08:39]
• “There is no guarantee that maintaining a relationship with a parent is going to fulfill you or going no contact with a parent is going to make your life better or easier; just walk the path that makes sense for you.” [13:22]                                          
• “It's so important to expect people to be who they have been and be pleasantly surprised when they are not, don't expect them to be different than they always have been, because that's where you're going to get hurt and disappointed.” [10:59]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Join Whitney Goodman and Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, as they discuss the role of the Golden Child in a dysfunctional family system. You will learn:

• how someone becomes the golden child
• why golden children struggle
• how sibling dynamics play into this role
• how to step out of the golden child role

Let’s Connect

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Balancing boundaries and empathy in family relationships means understanding and validating your family's feelings and experiences while also protecting your own emotional and mental well-being. Empathy allows you to connect with your loved ones on a deeper level, but without boundaries, it can lead to neglecting your own needs and compromising your personal space. Setting boundaries doesn't mean you care any less. Instead, it enables you to nurture healthy, respectful, and sustainable relationships without sacrificing your well-being.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers real caller questions on issues they are having with their family. Listen and get valuable insights on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, practice empathy, and heal past wounds within family dynamics. 

Tune in!

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show 
• [00:29] How to practice empathy for your parent without breaking your boundaries 
• [07:22] How to navigate parent-sibling dynamics and adult healing 
• [13:00] Parent-sibling relationship healing and resources 
• [13:54] Wrap up and end of the show

• “You can have empathy and understanding for your parents without totally letting it derail and destroy any boundaries or personal space that you have in your life.” [07:08]
• “You have to start working on resolving and healing feelings around how you were treated in comparison to your siblings when you were younger so that it doesn't impact your life in a negative way.” [13:01]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Supporting a partner who has issues with their parents requires empathy, patience, and understanding. It's not just understanding their feelings but also actively putting yourself in their shoes and acknowledging their emotional experience. That is listening attentively, validating their feelings, and reassuring them that their emotions are legitimate. It's not about offering solutions or fixing the problem but showing that you care and are there to support them through their struggles. By creating a safe and non-judgmental space and encouraging them to express their needs and boundaries, you are helping them feel less alone on their journey, prepare to uphold their boundaries, and build a stronger connection between you both.

In this episode, we discuss strategies and insights for supporting a partner facing challenges with their parents. Listen and learn how to be a supportive partner, maintain healthy boundaries, and build a fulfilling and joyous relationship. 

Tune in!

• [00:01] Intro and what in for you in today’s show 
• [00:59] How to support a partner who has a difficult relationship with parents
• [01:37] Be supportive, not judgemental 
• [02:57] Seek understanding and clarity of the situation 
• [03:39] Support your partner in a way that is helpful to them 
• [04:28] Set boundaries with your in-laws 
• [05:11] Keep your wounds in check
• [06:34] Listen and validate your partner's experience 
• [08:23] Respect your partner's boundaries
• [09:28] Practice patience and understanding 
• [10:21] Celebrate your partner's progress 
• [10:59] Create a safe space for continuous sharing 
• [11:20] Wrap up and end of the show

• “It is way easier for an outsider to recognize what is happening and label the problem; try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and understand their perspective.” [01:44]
• “Sometimes we get so caught up in supporting people how we think they should be supported rather than listening to them.” [03:44]
• “Ask your partner how they would like to be supported, listen to their suggestions, and allow them to be experts on their experience.” [04:01]
• “Sometimes we respond in a certain way to our partner's issues because we're being triggered; make sure you're working through your own stuff so you don't over or under react.”[29:59]

Have a question for Whitney? Call Home at 866-225-5466. 

Join Whitney’s Family Cycle Breakers Club for further support and discussion on family dynamics at CallingHome.co. Follow the Calling Home community on Instagram.

Click here to get “Toxic Positivity” on paperback. 

Follow Whitney Goodman on Instagram or TikTok.

The Calling Home podcast is not engaged in providing therapy services, mental health advice, or other medical advice or services, is not a substitute for advice from a qualified healthcare provider, and does not create any therapist-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Calling Home or Whitney Goodman. For more information on this, please see Calling Home’s Terms of Service. 

Mixing, editing and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.