CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Whitney addresses one of her recent viral posts about why using therapy speak with family often causes more problems than is useful. She also breaks down a scene from the Peacock show "All Her Fault" about parentified sibling dynamics. Then she answers to listener’s questions about different sibling reactions to a narcissistic family and a mother’s competition with her daughter.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

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This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

00:55 Why you shouldn't call your parents emotionally immature

05:54 Breaking down a scene from Peacock’s All Her Fault

13:45 Listener question #1

18:22 Listener question #2

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Feeling guilty is one of the most common struggles for people stepping away from a dysfunctional family. Whitney explores how guilt is a learned response, not necessarily an evidence of wrongdoing, and why you were trained to believe that meeting your own needs harms others. She discusses the difference between guilt and grief, how family members use guilt to pull you back in, and offers practical tools for moving forward and coming to terms with these feelings. 

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

1:19 Why guilt shows up when you start doing life differently

03:04 Guilt is a learned response, not evidence of wrongdoing

12:22 Decentering

20:33 Statements for feelings of guilt

26:17 Building a life where you feel safe and supported

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Whether you're skipping the family gathering, still debating about whether to show up, locked in for a chair-arm-gripping dinner, or spending the day alone, Whitney has a few tips for getting through the next 24 hours. 

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

02:44 Shut the door on social media that will only make it worse

05:40 Practice radical acceptance of your situation

07:08 Expect people to be who they've always been

08:00 Protect your peace by only engaging where you need to

10:54 You're allowed to have a good time

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Whitney teams up with Samantha Dalton, group facilitator at Calling Home and host of the Nuance Needed podcast, to unpack season three of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. As someone who grew up in the Mormon church and is still actively deconstructing, Samantha provides invaluable cultural context for understanding the relational patterns, power dynamics, and trauma responses playing out in the show. They explore how religion and culture interweave to shape everything from marriages and gender roles to emotional maturity and family loyalty, and how even reality tv moments can create powerful moments of destigmatization and healing for viewers who have dealt with similar experiences.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Content warning: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, emotional abuse, and complicated relationship dynamics.

00:00 Introduction and content warning

01:43 Samantha's deconstruction journey

05:57 How Mormonism gets woven into every aspect of life

12:34 Early marriage and the impact on emotional development

23:51 Dad talk and coming to terms with their wives’ success

34:48 Therapy culture in the show

57:24 The power and consequences of sharing trauma on reality tv

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Whitney answers two listener questions that explore complex family dynamics and different responses to dysfunction. The first question comes from someone navigating estrangement from in-laws who rejected their adopted teenager. The second is about what happens when siblings respond differently to the same dysfunctional family system. Whitney also discusses a moment from the show Special Forces where Kody Brown, a TV personality known from the show Sister Wives, takes accountability for his mistakes as a parent. Whitney also reacts to a recent post from Chad and Haley Kultgen from The Necessary Conversation podcast.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Introduction and episode overview

01:40 Special Forces and Sister Wives analysis

08:28 The Necessary Conversation analysis

17:43 Caller question #1

25:07 Caller question #2

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Whitney shares an interview with Harriet Shearsmith, author of "Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy Patterns and be the Parent You Wish You’d Had" and host of the Unfollowing Mum podcast. Harriet opens up about her journey from being completely enmeshed with her mother who lived with Harriet, her husband and three children to eventually becoming estranged after asking her mom to find her own home. They discuss the challenges of recognizing abuse in your own family system, the societal guilt of cutting contact with a parent, cycle breaking with your own children, and how to repair when you make mistakes with your own children.

Harriet's new book: https://amzn.to/43vKLFO

Harriet's website: https://harrietshearsmith.com/

Harriet's Instagram: @harrietshearsmith 

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected]

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Introduction to Harriet Shearsmith and her work

01:43 Harriet's story

15:19 The societal guilt of questioning your parent's behavior

26:07 The difficulty of defining abuse

44:14 Raising children who know their worth

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Whitney unpacks a recent article from New York Magazine: “The Therapy That Can Break You” about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and what can go wrong when trauma treatment crosses ethical lines. She discusses the dangers of working with fragile populations without proper training, and what to watch for when working with different therapeutic modalities. She then answers two listener questions about navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat and balancing support for a depressed parent without losing yourself.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow

Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

01:06 Introduction to IFS therapy and The Cut article

02:49 What went wrong at Castlewood Treatment Center

09:52 Believing victims and the reality of false memories

18:08 The need for stabilization when working with trauma

25:51 Listener question 1: Navigating estrangement as the family scapegoat

31:32 Listener question 2: Supporting a depressed parent without losing yourself

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Whitney launches a new series exploring family dynamics in pop culture, starting with Netflix's "Nobody Wants This." Joined by Meg Josephson, author of the New York Times bestseller "Are You Mad at Me?", she breaks down the clash between Noah's enmeshed, guilt-driven Jewish family led by his controlling mother Bina, and Joanne's emotionally distant family that hides behind humor. They discuss what happens when parents fuse their identity with their children, the difference between closeness and enmeshment, how cultural expectations complicate boundaries, and whether you'd actually want to sit down at this family's dinner table.

Connect with Meg:https://megjosephson.com/

Order Meg’s new book:https://amzn.to/47tyvIi

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

00:00 Introducing Whitney’s new series

03:49 Character overview

09:07 When Bina’s identity gets fused with her son

14:39 Closeness and enmeshment

27:51 Bina confronts Joanne

34:15 Joanne at Shabbat scene

50:55 The dinner table scale

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Whitney answers two listener questions that share a theme: how do you protect your peace while staying connected to difficult family relationships? The first question explores reconnecting with in-laws after a year and a half of no contact—when is it safe to reopen that door, and how do you move forward without reopening old wounds? The second addresses hosting family in your new home when one relative consistently disrespects boundaries and your independence. Both questions wrestle with the tension between honoring your growth and navigating relationships with people who haven't changed.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

01:14 Question 1: Reconnecting with in-laws after no contact

09:06 A few possibilities of what might happen here

11:59 Question 2: Hosting family when one relative disrespects boundaries

14:07 Potential outcomes of setting boundaries with the problem relative

17:56 Connect with the Family Cycle Breakers Club

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Whitney explores parentification—what happens when children become caregivers, mediators, and "responsible ones" long before they're ready. Whitney shares research on how early caregiving shapes us, when it becomes harmful versus adaptive, and how to transform childhood survival skills into adult strengths without carrying the weight of obligation. She also breaks down the scene between Brittany and her estranged daughter on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.

Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466

Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠

Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit

Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft

⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity

Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

00:16 Breaking down the estrangement scene on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

13:27 What is parentification and why does it happen?

17:19 The adaptive strengths of parentification

22:11 The maladaptive consequences of early caregiving

25:48 Transforming survival skills into strengths you choose

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