When you grew up neglected, abandoned, and with none of your needs met – you may be likely to fall in love with people who are unable to provide the solid, caring love that you need and crave. And at the same time, the wounds of neglect drive you to cling to them, even after it's clear they're unstable, emotionally unavailable, or not safe to be near you. This is the critical juncture where trauma in one generation, can HOP over into the next – when your own trauma BINDS you to people who make you FEEL like something is happening, but who will bring nothing but grief into your life. Now as you know, I’m not a therapist. I’m someone who healed from my own destructive relationship patterns, and here to help you when magical thinking has convinced you that the terrible pain you’re in because of someone you’ve dated is a SIGN that they are the one for you. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Kristin.

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