Clarity on Fire

OK, procrastinators, it's time to face the music. (Does anyone here actually NOT procrastinate?? First of all, how dare you? And second, kindly show yourself out).

It seems like everyone is forever trying to overcome procrastination. A lot of us believe that if we just read enough "life hacking" articles we can force ourselves into submission. But if you couldn't guess, we aren't down with that.

In this month's Side Chat, we're talking about:

• When procrastination means something deeper, and when it's not a big deal
• When your intuition uses procrastination to try to send you a message, and how to interpret it
• Using education and research as a form of sneaky procrastination
• When procrastination masquerades as perfectionism
• How you can release the pressure so you don't feel the compulsion to procrastinate as often

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how you've been procrastinating how this episode resonated with you!

FREE WORKSHOP ON JANUARY 28!

We're hosting a free, LIVE online workshop on Monday, January 28, at 1pm Eastern, and we'd love for you to be there!

How to find your passion in 2019.

If you're been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, confused, and uncertain about your direction in both your life and career, this is a REALLY great place for you to start.

We're packing everything we've learned in the last 7 years about how to figure out what to do with your life into this workshop (well, everything that will fit in an hour, at least!).

We only do these kinds of free workshops a few times per year, so join us while you can! There WILL be a free replay video for people who register, so sign up even if you can't be there live.

GET ON THE PPVE VIP LIST!

Our twice-yearly online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is going to be opening for enrollment on Monday, January 28!

It's a 6-week course (with a mix of videos, workbook assignments, and live Google hangouts with the two of us) that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!

If you're on the VIP list, you'll be the first to know about our early bird pricing and the handful of free coaching sessions we're going to be giving away!

We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you'll definitely want to be on this list.

Join the VIP list here.

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I can't help but notice that my gym has been more crowded this month. The lines at my organic grocery store have been longer, too. Several of my clients have felt a sudden surge of motivation to move, or start online dating, or apply to new jobs in earnest.

I get it. There's something sobering about entering a new year, especially if there are things you don't necessarily want to repeat from the past year. The energy of newness and a fresh start is palpable, and it's no wonder so many of us decide that NOW is the time to change our habits and improve our lives.

There's nothing wrong with using the energy of the new year to be more reflective and set goals for yourself. But we all know how New Year's resolutions tend to go. Come February, I guarantee you that my gym and organic grocery store will be much quieter. The collective surge of motivation we all felt at the new year will melt away, and we'll settle back into our old habits and routines.

Not to depress you, but … to throw some stats into the mix, according to U.S. News, about 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February. And only 8% of people who make resolutions ultimately achieve them.

So clearly, the way most of us are trying to change our lives isn't working the way we'd hoped.

I'm not against resolution-setting — a big part of being a coach is encouraging intentionality in all things, after all — but I think most of us are going about it dead wrong.

I'm sharing how to change your life in a way that's actually sustainable so you don't become a New Year's resolution cliché.

GET ON THE PPVE VIP LIST!

Our twice-yearly online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is going to be opening for enrollment on Monday, January 28!

It's a 5-ish week course (with a mix of pre-recorded videos, workbook assignments, and live Google hangouts with the two of us) that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!

If you're on the VIP list, you'll be the first to know about our early-bird pricing and the handful of free coaching sessions we're going to be giving away!

We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you'll definitely want to be on this list.

Join the VIP list here.

LINKS

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The last few months of 2018 were pretty monumental for Marina. The turning point was in October when she met to a retreat with 300 other women hosted by powerhouse inspirational couple Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach.

She returned from the retreat having witnessed real-deal true love, which solidified the realization that her partnership wasn't that, and that it was time to end things.

But how do you break up in a more evolved, conscious way? Is it even possible? Rachel and Marina talked about…

• How she knew it was time to end her romantic relationship, and what you may need to ask yourself if you're in a similar position.
• Why she and her ex decided to keep going to therapy and continue living together, post-breakup.
• How to respond to the people in your life who may not understand your relationship choices.
• The uncomfortable experience she had being one of only a handful of women of color at the personal development retreat.
• How she bravely voiced her discomfort and got a very unexpected response from the event's leaders, and the ripple effect she's produced.

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how Marina's wisdom resonated with you.

GET ON THE PPVE VIP LIST!

Our twice-yearly online group coaching program, the Passion Plan Virtual Experience, is going to be opening for enrollment on Monday, January 28!

It's a 5-ish week course (with a mix of pre-recorded videos, workbooks assignments, and live Google hangouts with the two of us) that helps you figure out what to do with your life. Think of it as the "AP Life" class you should have taken in high school, but never got the chance!

If you're on the VIP list, you'll be the first to know about our early bird pricing and the handful of free coaching sessions we're going to be giving away!

We're only taking 50 people in this round, and enrollment is first-come, first-served. If you want in, you'll definitely want to be on this list.

Join the VIP list here.

RESOURCES MARINA MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Resources for unpacking racism and white supremacy:

Rachel Ricketts IG @iamrachelricketts FB @rayrayricketts

Rachel Cargle IG @rachel.cargle FB @rachelcargle

Layla Saad IG @laylafsaad

Catrice Jackson IG @catriceology

Follow Black Women Conference

Val Day Sanchez IG @authorvaldaysanchez

Mindful of Race by Ruth King

White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

Resources for relationships:

Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Gottman Institute

Find a therapist (there's even a filter for Gottman Method!)

One other amazing human she mentioned:

Aaron Rose ("who benefits from this belief?") IG @aaronxrose

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I feel like I need to offer a massive correction to all of the people, you included, I may have fooled over the years:

I'm not actually all that tough.

I know the resting bitch face (which is very handy in repelling unwanted small talk at the gym or grocery store) may have suggested otherwise. Or the fact that I'm blunt, loud, and opinionated. Or that I very clearly do not suffer fools.

The exterior may look tough, but the inside is plenty soft and sensitive.

And, like most of you, for a long time I thought that sensitivity equated to weakness. I thought the only way to get through hard times was to "tough it out." Put my head down, plow through my problems, and take no mercy (on myself, most especially).

You may be surprised to hear me say that 2018 was not my favorite year, by a long shot. And while all the gory details don't need to be put on display (yet—I'm positive it's a story I'll tell when I have more hindsight and perspective), I can tell you that, very much against my will, I became a MUCH stronger person this year (stronger, but not necessarily tougher).

Like most lessons you don't ask for, this one taught me so much about the true nature of strength. And I have a suspicion that you probably need to hear, as much as I did, what real strength is, and what it isn't.

So, this one goes out to you—especially if you're under the mistaken impression that you're weak.

After you've listened, come share your take on strength with me in the comments.

WANT TO BUST THROUGH AN OLD, CRUSTY BLOCK?

Later this month we're having a guest expert on the podcast who revels in busting through your most troublesome blocks.

So, if you've got something you'd really like to let go of or move beyond, but just can't get over it, share it with us and you may hear it tackled during our expert interview in late January.

Submit your question here!

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Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself.

On this episode, we're answering questions from:

• Diana, who can't figure out what her REAL Passion Profile is because her chronic health issues are getting in the way. How can she find career direction when her health is forcing her to live in a way that may not reflect who she REALLY is?
• Samantha, who's juggling 3 different jobs and side gigs, none of which are completely fulfilling. And yet, on the other hand, there would be downsides to letting any of them go. How can she circumvent this catch-22 and find real fulfillment?
• Amber, who is burnt-out and has lost the passion she used to have for her job. That said, she can't leave because she has to provide for her kids. How can she recover from burn-out when her circumstance may not change any time soon?

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know if our advice for these three ladies resonated with you, too.

Want to submit a question for our February episode of Dear Krachel? Fill out this form and you might hear us tackle your Q!

HOLY CRAP, IT'S 2019

Before you try to set a bunch of New Year's Resolutions that, let's face it, you won't stick to more than a week, hear this:

Resolutions don't work! Why? Because their very nature is busted. They're an attempt to solve an internal problem with an external solution. You can try all you want to lose 20 pounds, or find a new job, but if you don't connect with the deeper issues under the surface, you won't find success or be able to maintain progress.

Coaching is exactly the opposite of setting resolutions, which is why it works—It address problems from the inside-out, rather than the outside-in. So, if you'd like 2019 to end on a vastly different note than 2018, there's no time like the present to chat with us about 1-on-1 coaching!

Reach out to us here and we'll talk it out together.

LINKS

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It's our last podcast episode of the year! So, we figured what better time than now to bring on an expert who can help us predict the future, right??

We sat down with our friend Madeleine—astrologist, tarot reader, and intuitive extraordinaire—and asked her all about…

• Some astrology 101 – What's the difference between the sun, moon, and rising signs? Why do some people gel with their sign and others don't?
• Tarot – What is it? Where did it come from? And why is it useful?
• Why are we all so obsessed with predicting the future? And when can that totally backfire on us?
• How changeable is the future, exactly? What's the deal with free will?
• What's the difference between a real-deal psychic/intuitive and a faker?
• What's in store for us in 2019? What can we expect coming around the bend?
• Plus, she whips out our charts on the episode and gives us a quick compatibility reading!

This is a great episode for any of you who've always been intrigued by this stuff but, like us, don't know how to actually use it. After you've listened come leave a comment and let us know what spoke to you!

LET'S GET 2019 OFF TO THE RIGHT START

The new year is a few days away! Cue wide eyes and mild panic!

…Or not. Because hey, not every year needs to be a repeat of the last! You'd be amazed by how much can shift in just a few months with a little consistency, accountability, and a willingness to make change.

So if you'd like 2019 to be vastly different than 2018 (or 2017, or 2016…), then we're happy to talk to about the prospect of 1-on-1 coaching.

Reach out to us here and we'll talk it out together.

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE YOU SHOULD ALSO CHECK OUT

Bonus Book Club! The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Side Chat: A mind-blowing, time-bending analogy

Treating life like a magical scavenger hunt with Francisca Hernandez

Bonus Book Club! Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver

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Paul knew he was a pretty self-aware person — he'd been on a personal development path for years — but he had no idea just how far he could go on this journey until he became a parent.

Having kids, he quickly realized, turned out to be the most intense crash course in personal growth he could have ever signed up for.

It's made him redefine just about everything in his life — his values, his intentions, his concept of success, his sense of purpose, his relationship to his work, his sense of confidence and inner solidarity. Nothing in his life has been untouched by becoming a parent.

It's been a wild ride and nothing like Paul expected, but it's also put his life into perspective in the most clarifying, fulfilling way.

In an effort to become the best person and dad he can be, he's been on a quest to learn everything he can about conscious parenting, which he explains and gives plenty of examples of in this week's podcast.

Listen in to hear Paul share his journey with us in this week's interview with a normal person, and hear us talk about:

• How getting married sparked a lifelong journey of personal growth, self-awareness, and intentional living.
• His path to redefining what success meant for him, after meeting all of his achievement goals and realizing he was miserable and unsatisfied.
• The most important question to ask yourself to determine if you truly want to have kids.
• The difference between having one kid, which was life-changing enough, to having two kids, which rocked his world and sparked massive change in his family.
• How parenthood catapulted his personal growth beyond what he ever could have imagined.
• What "conscious parenting" means and how to start implementing it, whether or not you have kids yet.
• Why it's OK to screw up at being a parent, and how to release your self-judgment when you don't get it right.
• Resources, tools, and tips he's found valuable along the journey of conscious parenting.

After you've listened, leave a comment to let us know how Paul's story resonates with you!

MORE ABOUT PAUL

Paul grew up in a suburb of Chicago with a younger brother and two parents who raised him in a home filled with love and a willingness to do anything to see their kids succeed. Anchored by the traditional definitions of success, Paul was able to graduate from a competitive liberal arts school, finish at the top of his MBA class, and work his way up the corporate ladder to achieve an income beyond his imagination. Despite these achievements, much of his motivation to succeed came from external validation and recognition, rather than from a true internal passion, which always left a void in him.

Eight years ago, Paul and his wife picked up and moved to Colorado, where they've been on a journey together to come to understanding their passions and defining success for themselves through the power of coaching, self-improvement, and intentionality. Paul just turned 40 years old and is currently facing the most exciting time of his life...the opportunity to parent his 1-year-old and 4-year-old children to help them define their OWN success and find their OWN passion! Unfortunately, kids don't come with a manual, and the only parenting experience that he had was that of his own childhood. Feeling a lack of confidence in this important job, Paul set out on a journey to come up with a parenting style that would help him maintain a positive relationship with their children, while still giving them the tools to live the lives that they wished to be. Earlier this year, Paul stumbled across the concept of Conscious Parenting and has been "all in" ever since.

LET'S GET 2019 OFF TO THE RIGHT START

The new year is right around the corner. Cue wide eyes and mild panic!

…Or not. Because hey, not every year needs to be a repeat of the last! You'd be amazed by how much can shift in just a few months with a little consistency, accountability, and a willingness to make change.

So if you'd like 2019 to be vastly different than 2018 (or 2017, or 2016…), then we're happy to talk to about the prospect of 1-on-1 coaching.

Reach out to us here and we'll talk it out together.

PARENTING RESOURCES

The Conscious Parent

Zen Parenting Radio

The Parenting Junkie

Headspace

The Self-Driven Child

Parenting with Love & Logic

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen

Breaking your phone addiction with Kristen Kalp

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A client of mine, Jack, has been entrepreneurially minded for his whole life. He's an idea machine, and he's constantly coming up with cool business ideas. He can't help it — it's just how his brain works.

Naturally, he'll get excited about a new idea and want to share it with people. As soon as inspiration hits (which is frequently), he'll text his brother or call his mom or tell the coworker on the other side of his cube.

Their reactions aren't always what he'd hoped for. In fact, they're usually pretty discouraging. They'll ask a million questions about how it will work — questions he can't yet answer, since he's still working out the idea in his mind — or they'll jump to all the reasons why it's risky or impractical or straight-up impossible.

Usually, after these deflating conversations, Jack will feel less enthusiastic about the idea, and often he'll end up abandoning it altogether.

When Jack came to coaching, he told me he was afraid he's all ideas and no action. He was feeling like maybe he wasn't cut out to be an entrepreneur after all, since he couldn't seem to stick with an idea and make it a reality.

"Your problem isn't that you have too many ideas, or you're flaky, or you lack follow-through, or anything like that," I told him. "Your problem is just that you share your ideas too soon, and with the wrong people."

In this week's blog, I'm making a case for why you should keep new ideas to yourself for a while, and how to know when it's OK to share them with others.

LET'S GET 2019 OFF TO THE RIGHT START

The new year is right around the corner. Cue wide eyes and mild panic!

…Or not. Because hey, not every year needs to be a repeat of the last! You'd be amazed by how much can shift in just a few months with a little consistency, accountability, and a willingness to make change.

So if you'd like 2019 to be vastly different than 2018 (or 2017, or 2016…), then we're happy to talk to about the prospect of 1-on-1 coaching.

Reach out to us here and we'll talk it out together.

LINKS

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Interested in 1-on-1 coaching with us? Check out all the details and sign up to talk to one of us here

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Quick question—Have you ever said (or thought) something about your career like …

• "Something feels off, but I can't figure out why."
• "I should like this job, but I just don't."
• "Am I broken? Maybe I'll never enjoy working."
• "Has everyone else figured out something I haven't?"

If you're nodding along with that, you definitely need to hear this conversation we had about the 4 Passion Profiles. (Make sure you've taken the Passion Profile Quiz first!).

We talked about how we came up with the quiz, what it measures, the differences between the 4 potential results, and how to use your Profile to find your career direction.

After you've listened, leave us a comment to let us know your Passion Profile result and how it resonates with you!

LAST DAY TO SAVE SOME $$$

Today, December 14, is the LAST day to get $50 off the Passion Profile Short Course with code HOLIDAY.

The PPSC is like a recipe for your career path. It's the "secret sauce" that takes the thought out of trying to plot your career direction and prevents you from wasting years of your life hopping from job to job, hoping that you eventually stumble across something you love.

The PPSC is a quick, uncomplicated way to get unstuck. It's designed to help you get clear on your career (and life!) direction in as little as 1 day.

It might be right for you if:

• You're looking for a way to get un-stuck that doesn't involve a lot of time, money, or complication (it's a 5-ish hour video-based DIY course).
• You've been hoping for a simple answer to this whole "finding career direction" thing.
• You don't know where to start and wish someone would tell you what to do about your career situation.
• You felt like your Passion Profile Quiz result described you really well, and you thought, "How can I get more of THIS?" when reading your result.

The PPSC is available 24/7, but before 11:59pm EST tonight you can save $50 off the usual price of the program with code HOLIDAY.

We're also going to be offering a free, live Q&A workshop session to anyone who buys the PPSC during that window, as well as anyone who's worked with us in the past.

The live Q&A workshop will be on Friday, January 11 at 1pm EST, which gives you plenty of time to complete the course and submit your Q's ahead of time. There will be a video replay for those who can't make it live! You'll be emailed a registration link after you purchase the course. (And for those of you who've done either of our courses, or worked with us 1-on-1 and would like to join the workshop, just email us at [email protected] and we'll send you a registration link, too!).

Need more details? Check out the full PPSC page to see whether this is right for you.

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When I was 7, I told anyone who asked that when I grew up I was going to be a journalist. I loved reading and writing, and sometimes I'd flip my mini indoor trampoline on its end and sit behind it and force a babysitter to "watch me on TV" as I read my version of the evening news.

When I was 15, I altered that to "journalist or lawyer" (because my teen years were the ones where I proved, mostly to my poor parents, just how good I was at driving my points home, debating anything and everything, and never backing down from a fight).

When I was 19, I decided to major in Public Relations because it was the closest thing to journalism that my school offered. And even though I was far from sold on either public relations or journalism, I didn't know what else I wanted to do.

And when I was 22, I flirted with the idea of becoming an archaeologist, mostly because I'd majored in art history and loved it and had also watched The Mummy a lot as a kid.

Since then I've played around with the idea of becoming, in no particular order: A staff writer for an online women's magazine, a relationship advice columnist, a marriage and family therapist, a life and career coach, and oh yeah … a private detective (my friends still want me to do this one).

You might think that these things are all really random. But they're not. You might also think that it was hard to choose between them. But to be honest, once I knew how to choose, it wasn't very difficult at all.

Today's blog is a throwback to May of 2017! We're re-sharing because it's the perfect blog to compliment the holiday special we're running on the Passion Profile Short Course. Scroll down for $50 off the course.

IT'S YOUR LUCKY WEEK!

Through this Friday, December 14, we're giving you $50 off the Passion Profile Short Course with code HOLIDAY.

The PPSC is like a recipe for your career path. It's the "secret sauce" that takes the thought out of trying to plot your career direction and prevents you from wasting years of your life feeling broken and hopping from job to job, hoping that you eventually stumble across something you love.

The PPSC is a quick, uncomplicated way to get unstuck. It's designed to help you get clear on your career (and life!) direction in as little as 1 day.

It might be right for you if:

• You're looking for a way to get un-stuck that doesn't involve a lot of time, money, or complication (it's a 5-ish hour video-based DIY course).
• You've been hoping for a simple answer to this whole "finding career direction" thing.
• You don't know where to start and wish someone would tell you what to do about your career situation.
• You felt like your Passion Profile Quiz result described you really well, and you thought, "How can I get more of THIS?" when reading your result.
• You'd like to narrow down the list of career options you've been considering to ONLY the ones that are worth pursuing.

The PPSC is available 24/7, but for the next four days you can save $50 off the usual price of the program with code HOLIDAY.

We're also going to be offering a free, live Q&A workshop session to anyone who buys the PPSC during that window, as well as anyone who's worked with us in the past!

The live Q&A workshop will be on Friday, January 11, at 1pm EST, which gives you plenty of time to complete the course and submit your Q's ahead of time. There will be a video replay for those who can't make it live! You'll be emailed a registration link after you purchase the course.

And for those of you who've done either of our courses, or worked with us 1-on-1 and would like to join the workshop, just email us at [email protected] and we'll send you a registration link, too.

Need more details? Check out the full PPSC page to see whether this is right for you.

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