Coaching for Leaders

Russ Laraway: When They Win, You Win

Russ has had a diverse 28 year operational management career. He was a Company Commander in the Marine Corps before starting his first company, Pathfinders. From there, Russ went to the Wharton School, and then onto management roles at Google and Twitter. He then co-founded Candor, Inc., along with best selling author and past guest Kim Scott.

Over the last several years, Russ served as the Chief People Officer at Qualtrics, and is now the Chief People Officer for the fast-growing venture capital firm, Goodwater Capital, where he is helping Goodwater and its portfolio companies to empower their people to do great work and be totally psyched while doing it. He's the author of the book When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think*.

It’s the job of every leader to give feedback. In this episode, Russ and I discuss what to say and what to avoid when giving feedback. Plus, we explore how to think about truth and the most effective ways to start and close feedback conversations in order to help everybody move forward.

Key Points

Avoid spending too much time talking about the impending conversation and just have the conversation.

Use language like this: “I think I’m seeing some behavior that I believe is getting in your way. Are you in a spot where you can hear that right now?”

Use the framework of situation, behavior/work, and impact in order to organize your feedback.

Invite dialogue by asking: “What are your thoughts about that?”

Avoid framing feedback discussions around “the truth” — there are always multiple truths in every discussion like this. You are offering them what you see.

Resources Mentioned

When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think* by Russ Laraway

When They Win, You Win website

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Three Steps to Soliciting Feedback, with Tom Henschel (episode 107)

Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)

How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Remotely, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464)

How to Reduce Bias in Feedback, with Therese Huston (episode 510)

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Mollie West Duffy: Big Feelings

Mollie West Duffy is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership coaching. She previously was an organizational design lead at global innovation firm IDEO. She’s helped advise and coach leaders and founders at companies including Casper, Google, LinkedIn, Bungalow, and Slack. She’s experienced in designing talent processes and systems, as well as organizational structures and behaviors, cultural values, and learning and development programs.

She's written for Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Entrepreneur, Quartz, and other digital outlets. She co-founded the Capital Good Fund, Rhode Island's first microfinance fund. She is the co-author with Liz Fosslien of the Wall Street Journal bestseller No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work and now their second book Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay*.

We’ve all heard the well-intended advice that we should not compare ourselves to others. In this conversation, Mollie and I explore why that's almost impossible to do and how we can cooperate a bit more with the inevitable and make our comparisons more useful. We highlight some of the key ways that comparison can help us and where leaning in may actually be useful in your own happiness and development.

Key Points

It’s a myth that the less you compare yourself to others, the better. Often, the opposite is true: we don’t compare ourselves enough.

We tend to compare our weaknesses to other people's strengths. Finding ways to curate our inputs is often much more useful.

Shifting from malicious envy to benign envy is helpful. Thoughts such as “I’m inspired by what they’ve done…” or “I haven’t done what they’ve done…yet,” can move us to a healthier place.

We see the best of people on social media. It’s helpful to piece together the missing footage by comparing some of the nitty gritty.

Compare present you against past you.

Resources Mentioned

Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay* by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

How to Manage Your Anger at Work by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Four Steps to Get Unstuck and Embrace Change, with Susan David (episode 297)

What to Do With Your Feelings, with Lori Gottlieb (episode 438)

How to Reduce Burnout, with Jennifer Moss (episode 561)

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Nick Timiraos: Trillion Dollar Triage

Nick Timiraos has been the chief economics correspondent at The Wall Street Journal since 2017, where he is responsible for covering the Federal Reserve and other major developments in U.S. economic policy. He joined the Journal in 2006 and previously covered the 2008 presidential election.

He wrote about U.S. housing markets and the mortgage industry as a reporter based in New York. His coverage included the government’s response to the foreclosure crisis and the takeover of finance companies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Nick is the author of Trillion Dollar Triage: How Jay Powell and the Fed Battled a President and a Pandemic -- and Prevented Economic Disaster*.

Key Points

Some of Federal Reserve Chair Jerome “Jay” Powell’s core skills have helped him navigate difficult stakeholders:

He’s highly regarded as a good listener with excellent emotional intelligence.

He’s intentional about creating strong teams and espoused the value of teamwork regularly.

He is mindful of daily events, but is always playing the long game.

He speaks in plain language that makes sense to many people, regardless of their education level.

Specifically, four unwritten rules of dealing with a difficult stakeholder like Donald Trump emerged in Nick’s analysis of Jay Powell’s public appearances:

Don’t talk about Trump.

When provoked, don’t return fire.

Stick to the economy, not politics.

Develop allies outside the Oval Office.

Resources Mentioned

Trillion Dollar Triage: How Jay Powell and the Fed Battled a President and a Pandemic -- and Prevented Economic Disaster* by Nick Timiraos

Nick Timiraos website

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Listen When Someone Is Venting, with Mark Goulston (episode 91)

How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel (episode 164)

The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)

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Frederic Laloux: Reinventing Organizations

Frederic is the author of Reinventing Organizations: A Guide to Creating Organizations Inspired by the Next Stage of Human Consciousness*. The book is a global word-of-mouth bestseller with over 850,000 copies sold in 20 languages. Frederic’s work has inspired the founders of Extinction Rebellion, the Sunrise Movement, and Project Drawdown, as well as countless corporate leaders and faith movements. In a past life, he was an associate principal with McKinsey & Company. He's also the creator of the Insights for the Journey video series.

In this conversation, Frederic and I explore a place where almost every leader can have a meaningful impact: helping people show up as their whole selves. We discuss how critical it is for leaders to lead the way in doing this — and how storytelling can be an important entry point. We look at some of the practical actions leaders can take to enter into a place of wholeness, including elevating beyond content, using everyday language, and integrating with the work at hand.

Key Points

As a leader, wholeness begins with you. Exploring wholeness yourself sets the stage for everyone else to be able to engage more fully.

Rather than talking lots about wholeness, it’s often helpful just to begin modeling it. When you do, everyday language us useful to help others engage.

Your personal history, the history of the organization, and the organization’s purpose are often helpful stories to share that open up a space for wholeness.

You can turn any conversation into a moment of wholeness. One invitation for leaders is to stop talking about content and elevate the dialogue to “what’s happening” overall.

Resist any temptation to disconnect wholeness from the work at hand. Bringing these together helps people to show up at work more authentically.

Resources Mentioned

Reinventing Organizations: A Guide to Creating Organizations Inspired by the Next Stage of Human Consciousness* by Frederic Laloux

Reinventing Organizations: An Illustrated Invitation to Join the Conversation on Next-Stage Organizations* by Frederic Laloux

Insights for the Journey video series by Frederic Laloux

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Stay Grounded, with Parker Palmer (episode 378)

How to Be More Inclusive, with Stefanie Johnson (episode 508)

The Path Towards Trusting Relationships, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 539)

End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey (episode 556)

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Tom Henschel: The Look & Sound of Leadership

Tom Henschel of Essential Communications grooms senior leaders and executive teams. As an internationally recognized expert in the field of workplace communications and self-presentation, he has helped thousands of leaders achieve excellence through his work as an executive coach and his top-rated podcast, The Look & Sound of Leadership.

In this conversation, Tom and I explore the sometimes awkward moment of needing to get buy-in from your manager on a next step, proposal, or funding. We detail three considerations and how attention to them can help you frame this conversation better. Plus, we share tactics such as making the business case, telling a story, and past interactions — in order to help you get forward movement.

Key Points

Three lenses of consideration are helpful when considering how to pitch you manager: purpose, preference, and protocol.

When framing your purpose in making a pitch, it’s helpful to be able to change altitude. Consider “clicking out” on a map to frame the bigger picture.

To be purposeful, make sure you are making the business case for whatever you are pitching. Anger and emotion can be sentinels that you might not have moved past thinking about it personally or framed the business context fully.

Consider past interactions with your manager on how they prefer to receive information. The way you pitch them should begin with their preferences, not yours.

Get intel in advance from other stakeholders, if practical. They can help you see the variables that might be clouding your judgement if you’re too close to the situation.

Clearly frame the problem and examples of it. Consider strutting your pitch in the framework of The Want, The Obstacle, and The Resolution (see PDF below).

Resources Mentioned

Storytelling: A Three-Part Model by Tom Henschel (PDF download)

Related Episodes

How to Start Managing Up, with Tom Henschel (episode 433)

The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)

The Way to Make Sense to Others, with Tom Henschel (episode 518)

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Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Listener Questions

Allison asked for resources on how to lead others who are more knowledgeable than you in the field of work.

Everett wondered how he can navigate a situation where accents make it difficult to understand interview candidates.

Stephen asked about motivating people independent of incentives.

Resources Mentioned

The Empowered Manager: Positive Political Skills at Work* by Peter Block

Drive* by Daniel Pink

Effective Delegation of Authority: A (Really) Short Book for New Managers About How to Delegate Work Using a Simple Delegation Process* by Hassan Osman

The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier

Humble Leadership* by Edgar Schein and Peter Schein

HBO Max Presents Brené Brown: Atlas of the Heart

Leading with Dignity: How to Create a Culture That Brings Out the Best in People* by Donna Hicks

On the folly of rewarding A while hoping for B by Steven Kerr

Related Episodes

How to Improve Your Coaching Skills, with Tom Henschel (episode 190)

How to Motivate People, with Dan Ariely (episode 282)

The Path of Humble Leadership, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 363)

Effective Delegation of Authority, with Hassan Osman (episode 413)

Start Finding Overlooked Talent, with Johnny Taylor, Jr. (episode 544)

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David Novak: Take Charge of You

David Novak is Co-Founder, retired Chairman and CEO of Yum! Brands, the world’s largest restaurant company with over 45,000 restaurants in more than 135 countries and territories. During his tenure as CEO, Yum! Brands became a global powerhouse, growing from $4 billion in revenue to over $32 billion. After retiring in 2016, he became Founder and CEO of David Novak Leadership, dedicated to developing leaders at every stage of life. David is also the host of the top-ranked podcast, How Leaders Lead and founder of the leadership development platform of the same name.

An expert on leadership and recognition culture, David is also a New York Times bestselling author. His books include Taking People With You: The Only Way to Make Big Things Happen, O GREAT ONE! A Little Story About the Awesome Power of Recognition, and his latest book with Jason Goldsmith, Take Charge of You: How Self Coaching Can Transform Your Life and Career*.

In this conversation, David and I discuss the importance of finding joy in our careers. David highlights several of the key questions that he utilizes when helping others to uncover how joy can show up their work. He encourages us to surface the single biggest thing that’s important right now in order to get immediate traction.

Key Points

Sometimes your best (and only) coach is yourself.

Use joy as your destination finder.

Find your joy blockers by asking yourself: what’s getting in the way of my joy? Your worst days often provide insight on this.

Discover your joy builders by asking yourself: what would grow your joy personal and professionally? Your most memorable days are starting points for answers here.

Your goal is to surface your single biggest thing. This changes over time, but ideally is only one thing, one at a time. That’s how you gain traction.

Resources Mentioned

Take Charge of You: How Self Coaching Can Transform Your Life and Career* by David Novak and Jason Goldsmith

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Find Your Calling, with Ken Coleman (episode 352)

Align Your Work With Your Why, with Kwame Marfo (episode 542)

How to Nail a Job Transition, with Sukhinder Singh Cassidy (episode 555)

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Whitney Johnson: Smart Growth

Whitney Johnson is CEO of the tech-enabled talent development company Disruption Advisors, an Inc. 5000 fastest-growing private company in America. As one of the top ten business thinkers in the world as named by Thinkers50, Whitney is an expert at smart growth leadership. She has worked at FORTUNE 100 companies, and as an award-winning equity analyst on Wall Street.

Whitney co-founded the Disruptive Innovation Fund with the late Clayton Christensen. She has coached alongside Marshall Goldsmith, selected by him in 2017 as a Top 15 Coach out of a pool of more than 17,000 candidates. She is the author of Disrupt Yourself and the host of the podcast of the same name. She is also the author of Smart Growth: How to Grow Your People to Grow Your Company*.

In this conversation, Whitney and I explore a big reality of growth; it’s often slow at the start. We discuss three practical steps that leaders can take for both themselves and others to stay engaged during the early stages of growth.

Key Points

Auditing some of your roles, secrets, beliefs, values, and boundaries will help you move forward along the growth path.

Listen to the stories that others tell and help them link past experiences with what’s important today.

Images are a critical entry point to growth. Utilize them in addition to the new behavior itself to begin to frame your thinking and identity.

Circle back after receiving feedback and show others what you’ve learned from it and how it’s changed your behavior. That motivates them to stay invested.

Use “I am” statements that have a noun rather than a verb. Instead of “I run,” consider saying, “I am a runner.”

Resources Mentioned

Smart Growth: How to Grow Your People to Grow Your Company* by Whitney Johnson

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Become the Person You Want to Be, with James Clear (episode 376)

How to Motivate Leaders, with John Maxwell (episode 452)

How to Win the Long Game When the Short-Term Seems Bleak, with Dorie Clark (episode 550)

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Richard Rierson: Dose of Leadership

Richard Rierson has over 30 years of real-world, practical leadership experience as a United States Marine Corps officer, professional aviator, and corporate executive. His philosophy is that our leadership challenges should be met with the lifelong dedication and pursuit of becoming composed, confident, consistent, courageous, and compassionate.

In addition to being a sought after speaker, coach, and consultant, he is the host of the Dose of Leadership podcast. He's also a commercial airline pilot, currently flying as a first officer on the Boeing 787 Dreamliner.

In this conversation, Richard and I explore how professional aviation emerged from the accidents of the 1970’s to improve challenging authority inside the cockpit. We discuss the principles of crew resource management (CRM) and how more structure and intention between crew members vastly reduced the number of aviation accidents. We examine what leaders can do to use similar principles to support appropriately challenging authority inside their organizations.

Key Points

Almost every accident is a chain of events. The key is to have self awareness in the chain and to interrupt it.

Making the invitation to challenge before the work begins makes it far more likely that another party will speak up when they see something.

Pilots use green, yellow, and red as simple and immediate indicator to others in the cockpit how much stress they are holding.

Three steps are use to pilots to escalate challenging a more senior pilot: ask a question, make a suggestion, take control i.e. “my aircraft.”

Resources Mentioned

Sully with Tom Hanks

The Crash of Flight 401, and the Lessons for Your Company by Dave Yarin

The Evolution of Airline Crew Resource Management by Jean Dennis Marcellin

Related Episodes

The Way to Turn Followers Into Leaders, with David Marquet (episode 241)

How to Deal with Opponents and Adversaries, with Peter Block (episode 328)

How to Talk to People Who Have Power, with Jordan Harbinger (episode 343)

How to Use Power Responsibly, with Vanessa Bohns (episode 551)

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Deepa Purushothaman: The First, The Few, The Only

Deepa is the co-founder of nFormation, a company which provides a brave, safe, and new space for professionals who are women of color. She spent more than twenty years at Deloitte and was a first herself: an Indian American woman and one of the youngest people to make partner in the company’s history.

In her time there, she helped grow Deloitte's Social Impact Practice, served as a National Managing Partner of Inclusion, and served as the Managing Partner of WIN—the firm’s renowned program to recruit, retain, and advance women.

Deepa speaks extensively on women and leadership. She has been featured at national conferences and in publications including Bloomberg BusinessWeek, The Huffington Post, and Harvard Business Review. She is the author of The First, The Few, The Only: How Women of Color can Redefine Power in Corporate America*.

Key Points

The corporate space has not fostered true equity. Often, many of us don’t see the systemic examples each day of friction.

“We can’t find you,” is an often believed delusion when companies intend to attract more women of color.

“I don’t see color,” is often a well-intended belief, but in practice often marginalizes the lives experiences of women of color.

“DEI will fix it all,” is an illusion. We all should be supporting peers in formal DEI roes to volunteer, show up, and be key partners in the work that benefits all of you.

“You got white-manned,” reflects the belief that the world has to be a zero-sum competition.

Resources Mentioned

The First, The Few, The Only: How Women of Color can Redefine Power in Corporate America* by Deepa Purushothaman

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

Start Finding Overlooked Talent, with Johnny Taylor, Jr. (episode 544)

The Way Managers Can be Champions for Justice, with Minda Harts (episode 552)

Overcome Resistance to New Ideas, with David Schonthal (episode 557)

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